Dépaysement (h.s)

74

Harry Styles

We moved to Seattle, Washington three weeks ago.

It's been tough getting settled in, considering the fact that we're just so used to California and didn't even have homes for ourselves here, but we're managing.

Jade and Niall got their own apartment and only live one floor down from us. Zayn, Louis and I got a place together. At first I refused, only because I love living on my own and having privacy, but the apartment we got is huge so I don't mind it. You could go a whole day wandering the place without even seeing anyone, it's considered a penthouse.

After the letter, I didn't leave my bedroom for three days. The guys came and checked on me and Jade made me food but I didn't care for it. It was nice, I know that, but the only thing I wanted was Delilah back in my arms.

Once I managed to pull myself out of bed and manage my hygiene that I didn't give a fuck about during all of it, I met with Luca.

I didn't apologize for everything we did, neither did he, but I managed to get him to agree on not actively looking for her. He has a soft spot for her and I don't blame him.

He said he wouldn't search for her but if he did somehow cross paths with her it wouldn't end well. I was fine with that. What she did, is doing, is stupid. She knows the consequences if she were to be caught.

That calmed my nerves a bit, knowing she won't be hunted is a relief. But, I'm still worried about her. Did she get to her destination safe? Did she cross paths with dangerous groups or people? Is she living on the streets currently? Does she have any money to her name? Clothes? It sucks not knowing anything.

I don't even know where she would go, definitely the furthest place from Washington but there's so many options there. I plan on looking for her, I'm not giving up, but it will take time and I'm okay with that.

I've gotten everything settled into my bedroom and it definitely feels more homey, but it's obviously missing one thing. Her.

I kept her car, I currently drive it everywhere. I drove it here and just had some of our men deliver my actual car.

I'm pretty sure everyone else has opened their letters, but I don't know what she said in any of them. It's private so I'd never ask, but I am curious. Jade was pretty emotional, she still is. She lost her best friend too.

Louis, Zayn and Niall miss her. I know for a fact they do because they avoid talking about her in front of me. I hear their whispers and phone conversations though, they think I don't but it's not like they're trying to be quite.

Jade and I have gotten a bit closer, she's the only one who talks about her to me. Sometimes she'll come over and we'll just talk for hours on end about our favorite things about her, favorite memories with her and anything else we think of. It's nice to have someone to talk to, I'd rather her than a damn therapist which is what the guys have suggested many times.

I also know that Zayn and Lennon cut off contact. The second he found out we were relocating he decided it was best to cut ties with her since she couldn't follow him here, she agreed pretty quick. I guess they just didn't spend enough time together to have deep feelings for each other. I honestly don't care though, Zayn's my friend and I want him to be happy but—Lennon of all people? 

I don't think he was sad honestly.

I took all of Delilah's belongings with me. Her clothes, posters, makeup, even her car. I hung her posters around my room and put her clothes in my drawers. I still wanted a piece of her with me. Especially for when I get her back.