Snap out of it

Fuck it

We arrive at the funeral car park, we all get out dad and Auntie Sarah in front and me and Lucy walking behind them. As soon as we enter I feel eyes on me everywhere, Lucy grabs hold of my hand. "Thanks" I whisper to her.
"You'll be ok just sit next to me" she reply's pointing towards the benches at the front. Me and Lucy sit down while the rest of the family talk to people they haven't seen in a while. The ceremony starts, to be honest it was quite boring even though she's my mother I only knew her for 15 years.

Every walks outside to the tables and seats to have something to eat. Me and Lucy just sit under a tree. Watching people and judging them, it's one of my fav things to do. "He's probably part of the Maths team" I say pointing to a boy with thin rimmed glasses and a dickie bow.
"Ye he is he goes to my school" we both laugh hysterically. We literally couldn't breathe.

"Here we go again someone ruining the gathering" I hear someone shout, me and Lucy stop straight away. I see my pissed father walking over to us. "What do you think your doing" he asks pulling me up by my jacket "I thought you changed but you haven't" he spits in my ear. I tug his hand any from my jacket.
"This is your fault Blake" then I realise everyone is looking at us. Every. Single. Person.
"You are such a fuck up, I thought you would of been the perfect daughter but you weren't look at you laughing at your own mother's funeral" he shouts making a scene in front of everyone. "Say sorry to your mother" he snarls.
"Sorry" I feel tears falling down my cheek.
"I didn't hear you"
"I'm sorry" I scream, he slaps me across my cheek. I hear everyone gasp, I feel his face close to mine.
"For what?"
"I'm sorry Mother for ruining your life and being such a fuck up" I say sternly spitting in his face. I feel Lucy grabbing my arm and pulling me away. I still hear my dad shouting at me but I can't understand a word he's saying. "Your going to end up like your Auntie Katrina" he shouts.
"Fuck it" I storm back to him, leaving Lucy behind.
"You know what fuck you, all you've done is doubt me all my life you kick me out of the house when I was only fucking 15 and never called, texted, visited me, you did nothing" the place was silent all you could hear was me.
"You make me want to kill myself, sometimes I see daughters out with their dad but I can't do that because my dad is such an asshole" I shout seeing my Auntie Sarah in tears behind my dad.
"And don't ever get Auntie Katrina into this, she did nothing wrong she actually looked after me not my dad but my auntie did" I take a breath and start to walk back to Lucy who is waiting by the car. I get in the car, I look over to Lucy tears just pour out of my eyes. She puts her arm around me. "I love you Blake" she says leaning her head on mine.
"I love you too"