The Old Times- Roger Taylor

Part XII

December 31st, 1974

Me, Brian, Roger, Deaky, Veronica, Chrissy and Mary were all at Freddie's place for New Years Eve.
It was 11:58pm and I was so excited for my first New Years Eve with Roger.
It then turned 11:59 and we were all so excited for a new year.
As soon as it hit 12:00am we all yelled "Happy New Year" as Roger kissed me on the lips.
Every time he kissed me it just made me remember that day in October.
I tried to forget it as much as I could, but it was just stuck there.

"Lucy! You're finally going to be able to drink with us soon." Brian said, most likely drunk.
"Looking forward to it." I said, laughing.

I hated being the only one not drinking. Everyone else was drunk and it was up to me to take care of everyone.

My baby was due near the end of January, and we still had no clue what we're going to name her.

I was think of the name "Lily" because "Lily of the valley" was probably one of my favourite queen songs. Or "Delilah" as an inside joke.

But Roger was unbothered. We hadn't talked about it once, and I think it's probably time to. Well, past the time to, but it's better then not discussing it at all.

I waited until we got home, but realised he was absolutely hammered.
When Roger's drunk he just talks on and on about the most random shit ever, so I decided to leave it until the morning.

We had to walk home, and when we got there Roger threw himself at me, kissing my neck as he always did before fucking me.
"Roger, stop."
He didn't stop though.
He kissed all down my neck, removing my shirt as I pushed him away and went up to bed.
Roger followed me up not long after, and I woke up with him getting dressed.
"Morning." He said, smiling at me. "What's that on your neck?"
"Hm?" I said, tiredly.
"Looks like a hickey."
"Oh yeah. You were a fucking animal last night. You probably thought I was one of your side chicks."
"What?"
"I know, Roger."
"I don't know what you're talking about."

Fucking liar.
"Look, the baby's due in less then a mo-"
"Less then a month!?" He interrupted, shocked.
"Of course you didn't fucking know that." I said under my breath, didn't think he could hear me.
"Don't fucking start with me. I've been busier then ever. Our-"
"I don't give a shit. Why did I even think you would be a good father?" I said, standing up out of bed.
"You do remember that this is my house. Right?" He said, turning around.

I hated our little arguments. We would always end up not speaking to each other for the rest of the day.
"I hate arguing with you. But we need to start thinking of names for her."

We decided not Delilah, mainly because it was one of Freddie's cats names. Lily was a possibility, but we we both liked the name Carrie.

January 17th, 1975

It was finally over. I stared down at my baby with tears in my eyes and a huge smile on my face.

The worst part was that Roger wasn't even fucking there. He was fuck knows where, which made it even worse.

She was beautiful, adorable and I just knew she was going to be my best friend for the rest of my life.

At least I wasn't alone in hospital though, Marie actually was there with me.

"So where is he?"
I shrugged and started down at my baby happily. I didn't really give a shit where he was or what he was doing. (Who he was doing more like.)

"You don't know where the father of your child you just gave birth to is?"
"No."
"And you still want to marry him?"
I went silent, considering what she was actually warning me about this time.
"Just saying." She muttered.

Hours later Marie was about to leave when Roger came rushing in, smiling at me. I couldn't smile back. I knew he probably didn't mean to only arrive four hours later, but I was still pissed at him. Marie put her hand on his shoulder and whispered something to him before leaving the room. He came up to me and kissed my forehead gently.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't-"
"It's fine Rog."
"It's not though. I truly am sorry. Can I hold her?"
"Of course you can, she is your child."
"Right." he said sarcastically, taking her.
I looked at him and sighed.
"What are you implying Roger?"
"She doesn't look anything like me."
"Well, she isn't going to be your twin is she? And who else would be the father?"
"Brian possibly?" He said, looking me in my eyes.
"What?"
"Lucy. Don't lie to my face."
"Okay fine. The night you invited me to that concert I did fall for Brian. But he was a wife Roger, and I have you."

Is that why he slept with those women while I was pregnant?

He stared back at the baby and I just felt like bursting into tears.

February 13th, 1975

It broke me that Roger didn't actually think he was the father. It made me sad and Roger too, and I couldn't bare it.

I was sitting on the sofa holding Carrie when Roger came in.
"Lucy."
"...yes?"
"I need to speak to you."

That made my heart drop. He sounded deadly serious, which was terrifying.

"About what?" I said, my fear growing and growing.

My legs were shaking as he sat next to me on the sofa.

I was terrified, confused, concerned and sad all at the same time. I didn't even know if I wanted to hear it.