Careless Words

Apology

Jimin set the running machine to a fairly fast pace, his feet thumped along his body sweating as he ran to clear his head, he'd been embarrassed earlier and ashamed.
He remembered how he'd been overjoyed to be liked and then after his first encounter of sex, ridiculed, called desperate and pathetic,Tae had gone and beaten him up when he found Jimin crying, demanding to know what happened, hell he'd hidden away in his room for three days, they had made the company doctor see him, Jimin had broken down in front of him begging him to tell the company he wasn't well, the doctor did but made Jimin promise to come see him if he couldn't shake the depression off. That was when he'd decided to not hide but be different and look how well that had gone...., seemed he was just.......
"Jimin?"
Jimin came out of his daze slowing the machine down til it stopped.
"Oh er Jungkook, did you want this machine I'll go somewhere else." He stepped off but Jungkook stepped in front of him.
"No I wanted to talk...., we saw your room."
Jimin went pale, he'd got back and felt so disgusted with himself that he'd let loose on his room not thinking anyone would see it.
"So did you all have a good laugh poor pathetic Jimin? It's ok I heard what you said, your right, I'm just a chubby singer who had the nerve to think he could be something, but it doesn't matter what I do I'll never be good enough..."
He tried walking around Jungkook but the other grabbed his arms.
"No Jimin I was just an inconsiderate asshole who only thought about how I would be perceived when you got touchy, I'm ashamed of myself not you, I didn't know that I'd actually miss being close or that I had such a closed mind. You have been starving yourself because of my careless words, I can only apologise to you and ask forgiveness, that bastard today, well Tae let us know what happened not to put you in a bad light but to help us understand, I wanted to punch him too, you've had to work hard with a lot of bad times, I don't know if I could have done it, but we are all proud of you Jimin and don't want to see you suffer , please , will you try and be friends again?"
Jimin looked up blurry eyed," I know I can be irritating, so it's also my fault, I haven't stopped being your friend I just gave you the space you wanted, I'm sorry if me being gay revolts you."
"No, no it doesn't, it confuses me more I think, I mean how did you know you were gay?"
"I like girls but couldn't like them in that way if you know what I mean, like you do? I've only had one sexual experience and you all now know how that turned out, " he tried to laugh it off, but Jungkook could see it had affected him.
"Well he was the fool then, he lost out on a special person."
Jimin half smiled then his face dropped," oh god how am I going to face the others!!"
"With me, we will go back together and I'm sure they will just be happy your back, come on"
Jimin bent down to pick up his water bottle going dizzy as he stood up. Jungkook was there immediately holding him up.
"Jimin you have to eat properly, you can't go on like this your ruining your health."
"I-I just wanted to look better so I didn't let the group down."
"By passing out you'll let the group down, you have to eat, if you don't I won't !"
"I -I can't eat a lot, it makes me feel sick,"
"Little and often then and cut out the excessive workouts!"
Jimin nodded and left with the other going down in the lift to their dorm but hiding behind Jungkook as they walked in.
Five pairs of eyes looked up worriedly," Jimin?" Hobi asked.
Jimin stepped forward," I'm sorry for worrying you,"
"Oh Jimin thank god,"
"Come sit down, are you ok,"
"Can I get you anything"
"Guys let him talk," Jungkook said.
Jimin gave him a great full look.
"I need to apologise to you all, I've been lying about eating, I've deliberately over exercised and practiced to the point I've made myself sick in case I put on weight. I allowed others perceptions of me to change how I act, I allowed one person who you saw today, treat me like something he stood in. I-I just want to be myself and not a destructive version of me, I will always strive to do better and hope you will forgive me."
He was suddenly engulfed in hugs.
"Silly we love all of you"
"We are glad you've figured out what you want"
"We just want you to do whatever makes you happy"
"Erm right now a shower would make me happy, then can we..., can we have a movie night and fried chicken?"
"And beers! God we used to do that a lot, ok get showered, I'll make popcorn and we can order the chicken a bit later," Jin said.
Jungkook followed Jimin to his room, he saw Jimin peek around then the smile on his face at how spick and span his room was.
"Maybe I should do that more often my rooms so tidy!!"
"No you talk to us about things,"
Jimin turned around stepping forward as if to hug Jungkook then stepping back nervously.
"Erm thanks,"
Jungkook sighed stepping forward and hugging the smaller boy close to him, breathing in his unique smell.
"Oh god I stink don't I ?" Jimin said trying to pull away.
"No, you never do you have a very comforting smell," Jungkook said embracing him again. They stood like that for minutes then Jungkook let him go.
"Hurry up so we can get the best seats for the movies!"
Jimin giggled, he rushed into his bathroom while Jungkook left to go into his room.
WTF, he thought, had a felt a little twitch in Jungkook junior while hugging Jimin? He thought of how sweet Jimin had smelt and how he had wanted to caress his back. Fuck, he wasn't as straight as he thought he was, he'd got mad because he thought Jimin was trying to make him look bad when really he was feeling things for the other and blaming him!
He realised junior had also got the message as he was tenting his trousers painfully. He took his clothes off going into the shower and sorting his problem out, gasping as just thinking about Jimin being naked in there with him made him come hard. Washing himself he got out and dressed in loose sweats and t shirt leaving his hair to dry on its own. He left his room nearly bumping into Jimin as he came out of his room dressed similarly.
"Gotta be dressed comfy and slouch on seats for movie night," Jungkook said as they walked into the sitting room both grabbing a seat next to each other on the two seater sofa, Jin came in with popcorn, Suga and Tae had showered too dressed in baggy clothes and Hobi came in with more snacks. They all took a seat and chose the first movie which was a comedy.
Jimins giggling made them all laugh. Next came iron man, Jin ordering chicken and beers to come as they watched it.
They kept sneaking looks at Jimin to make sure he ate and he did his best to pretend to not notice, burping loudly," eugh chicken burp, sorry" he laughed the others laughing along  too.
The evening was going well, laughter and drinking some beers after eating. The last movie was a horror, not Jimins favourite type but he knew he could close his eyes if it got too bad. He pulled a blanket off the sofa back and covered himself getting cosier, Jungkook pulled some over him too.
The film went on,part way through Jungkook noticed Jimin shifting nearer, leaning against him, turning his face into his arm when it got scary. Then gripping his t Shirt and hiding. He put his arm around Jimin pulling him close and pulling the cover up around him," hide under that," he whispered.
Jimin felt silly but couldn't help it being a scaredy cat. He pressed against Jungkook, taking in his smell and hard muscles.
He lost interest in the film and cuddled more against Jungkook who felt Jimin gradually fall asleep on him.
He kept his arm around him under the blanket gently caressing his hip then dozing off the body heat and blanket cocooning him in warmth.
"Look at that...." Tae said
"Aw they look sweet." Jin cooed
"Should we wake them?"
"Nah they will wake up if they get uncomfortable"
One by one the rest went to bed. The two on the sofa turning into each other, somehow Jimin was sprawled over Jungkook who had stretched out the length of the sofa, pulling the blanket over them in his sleep.
It was two thirty in the morning when Jungkook suddenly startled awake, the movement sending Jimin dangerously near to falling off. Jungkook caught him just before he fell.
"Kookie?"
Jungkook smiled at the familiar name.
"Hey Jimin looks like we fell asleep,"
"Oh let me get off I must be crushing you!!"
Jungkook held him where he was., " a little thing like you can't hurt me!"
Jimin wiggled then suddenly realised just how close they were.
"S-sorry,"
"No problem, ok I'll let you up."
He let Jimin carefully get off , "well night then see you later,Jungkook."
"Yer night," he watched Jimin scamper off to his room, he adjusted himself feeling a familiar  tightening.
"Fuck I'm going to have to look up gay porn if this carries on!" He mumbled.