Stay With Me (Markimash)

Chapter Eight: Maria!

~Three weeks later~

Yami's POV

These past three weeks have been some of the best, but something's missing. There's an empty hole in my heart that she used to fill, but she's gone now. Mark's always tried his best to keep me happy, and it has worked to a certain degree. He spends all his time during the day with me, taking me to the park and to restaurants. We've had countless movie nights where we spent all night on the couch, watching movie after movie. However, after we say goodnight and go off to our respective beds, I remember how lonely I am. The bed sheets aren't as warm with only one person there, and I'm wishing more and more that Mark was with me, holding me in his strong arms, keeping me warm. I've tried time and time again to shake these thoughts from my mind, but nothing works. Mark's been here for me this whole time, and it's starting to hurt. It hurts seeing him try so hard to make me happy by trying to get my mind off of her, when all I really want is to have him sitting next to me, feeling the same way I feel.

I know it can never happen, but I can't stop hoping, stop wishing. Mark said that there was going to be a meteor shower tonight, and he's taking me somewhere to watch it. I almost laughed when he told me about it, doesn't he see how that looks? Is he that oblivious to how someone on the outside would see it? Two grown men, sitting together under the night sky, watching for meteors? Doesn't he realize that that's practically a date? Can he not see it? Maybe I'm just looking for something that isn't there, and it really is just Mark trying to cheer me up. Why did it have to be him? Why now? I could feel tears well up in my eyes, and this time I didn't bother holding them back. Mark didn't like guys like that, and even if he did, he still wouldn't love me. He could have anyone, so why would he want someone like me?

I'm just some pale skinny guy with an annoying accent, and Mark's this, this god on Earth! He's perfection, and I could never even hope to be near good enough for him. It was foolish to even pretend that I could have a chance with him, so I should just stop! Stop hoping and wishing and praying that maybe he'd feel the same, because I know he won't! Nobody I've ever loved has actually loved me back, not even her. Was I just unloveable? That must be it, that's the only explanation I can think of. I'm so messed up and weird that nobody could ever love me, especially Mark. I think it might be time to go back to London, so that Mark isn't stuck dealing with me anymore. Heaven knows I've been here long enough, and Mark is probably tired of having to watch me all the time. I know I'd be tired of me if I had to put up with myself for as long as Mark has, he's just too polite to ask me to leave.

Well, that was fine. I'd pack up tonight after Mark went to bed, and I'd leave a note explaining that I had to go back to my flat. I'd be fine without him, after all, I'd been fine for nearly two years without him. Yeah, but you had her then Yami. I sighed and buried my face in my hands as I heard that damn voice again. I had been hearing it off and on ever since I had agreed to stay with Mark, and it was making me feel crazy! Sorry Yami, I'm just trying to help you. I'm worried about you friend. You need to tell Mark the truth. What, are you insane?!? I can never tell Mark how I feel, he'd push me away and hate me! Do you really believe that Mark would hate you over something you can't control Yami? Think about it, it's Mark. He didn't get offended when Crystal thought you were a couple, and he didn't get upset either. He just thought it was kinda funny.

Well, the voice was right about that. See, you need to listen to me more often! Sorry, it's kinda hard to listen to some random voice in my head. Hm, I guess that makes sense. Hey Yami? Yes voice? Can you not just refer to me as "voice"? Well, what do you want to be called? How about Maria? I've always loved the name Maria! Alright Maria, so does that mean that you're a girl? Yeah, I'm a girl! Couldn't you tell by my feminine voice? Uh, the internet has taught me that just because the voice is feminine, it doesn't really mean whoever's speaking is a girl. Oh yeah, touché! So, do you still want to leave? Honestly, I didn't want to leave in the first place. I just think it might be better for Mark if I do. Yami, Mark hasn't been this happy in a very long time. You have no clue how much this visit has made him happy! Have I really made Mark that happy?

Remember all the times Mark let you pick where to spend the day? You always told him to choose, but he'd just smile and say that he fine with whatever you wanted. Why do you think he did that? I don't know! Sigh, he was letting you pick where to go and what to watch because if you were happy and smiling, then he was happy! You know how Mark is, he doesn't like others to know if he isn't 100% fine. He hides it behind a brilliant smile that's as fake as Nicki Minaj's ass! He isn't happy if those around him aren't happy, and making you happy has made him happy. Do you know what I am saying? Yeah, I know what you're saying. I smiled and wiped the tears from my face, glad that Mark wasn't here to see me cry. Yami, he'll still be your best friend, no matter what you tell him. So tell him the truth, he deserves to know how you feel. You deserve a little peace yourself, and this'll give you closure. Either he'll like you back, or he won't. It's that simple Yami.

Yeah, you're right Maria! I will tell Mark! I'll go tell him right now! That's the spirit Yami! Remember what I told you: Mark will always be your friend, no matter what!

Mark's POV

Man, these past three weeks have been the best! I've taken Yami out nearly every day, and he's been having so much fun! This visit is really helping him feel better, and it's helping me too. I had forgotten how nice it was to have someone to see everyday. I had even decided to tell Yami how I felt tonight, when I took him out to see the meteor shower. I had everything planned to tell him, I just had to wait until tonight to tell him. It would be perfect! The two of us, underneath the night sky, a cool breeze would make Yami shiver, I'd throw my arm around him and pull him close, then I'd- "Mawk, Mawk I need to tell you something important!" Yami exclaimed, bursting into my room. I looked at him, surprised at his sudden appearance.

"What do you need to tell me Yami?" I asked, feeling confused and curious all at once. Yami's confidence seemed to evaporate and he stammered, "W-well, I uh, I, um..." Yami looked up at me and I could feel that familiar quickening of my heartbeat as I stared into warm, light brown eyes. What did he need to tell me that was so important? "Uh, n-never mind Mawk, I uh, I f-forgot!" Yami finished lamely, avoiding my gaze. Alright, that was a pretty obvious lie. Well, I wasn't gonna push him for an answer if he wasn't comfortable with giving one. Instead, I smiled and asked, "Are you ready to drive out to the place I was telling you about Yami?" He nodded quickly and left the room, probably to get dressed or something like that. Well, I was already dressed to go, so I just needed to get everything else together.

I walked down to the kitchen and packed the sandwiches and the soup in the picnic basket, then searched around for the kettle I had just for Yami. I brewed up some tea and poured it into the other thermos, and packed in a couple of water bottles for me. All I needed was a blanket, and it would be perfect! I went to the linens closet and got the blanket that had sat on the top shelf for as long as I could remember, and sat it in the basket. There, I had everything I would need to make this perfect! I'm kinda surprised Yami didn't object to doing something so, so date-like with me. I mean, he must be blind if he thinks this is just something two friends do together! Then again, he could be pretty oblivious...

"Mawk, I'm ready to go!" Yami called. I smiled and took the basket to the front door where Yami was waiting. Alright, time to put operation Confession into motion!