Gone! ~ Dsmp

twenty seven!- nerves

eden was nervous, very nervous, to a point where she was practically shaking in fear, her leg hadn't stopped bouncing the whole time she had been sat in that waiting room and her fingernails were at a point where they were almost non-existent.

its not like she didn't want to do it, its just she was scared, she had read all about it online and the after affects did not sound very appealing. it had been a few days since her sleepover with karl and even the memory made her smile, but it just wasn't working today, as today was edens first round of chemo and she wasn't sure if anything could brighten up her day today.

she wasn't even sure if she completely knows what she has in store for her, she had been told that she wasn't allowed her phone though, something about confidentiality whatever that means, so that took using her phone as a distraction out of the picture, so instead she had brought a book to keep her entertained and she had befriended quite a few of the nurses and doctors so she always had them to talk to, even some of the surgeons occasionally stopped by when she was in her room to have a quick chat, eden just has that effect of people, its truly a gift.

The clock above her head in the hospital room was ticking  it was almost like it was taunting her as she waited in anticipation for a nurse to come and collect her. As the clock hit quarter past eleven edens foot tapping git gradually quicker and more excessive and eden started to lose focus, the room around her blurred as she focussed on the chair across the room.

she only snapped out of it when she was practically jump scared by the nurse opening the door.

"Come on eden" she said sweetly, it was nurse Walter and she was a sweetheart such a kind lady, but right now all eden could focus on was staring down at her feet as she followed behind the nurse.

edens head was running circles around itself, all eden could think about was how pathetic she probably seemed right now, but she was. She was scared, this whole thing had come along so quickly and she never really got a chance to think about it all because straight away she was thrown into the deep end with brain surgery, of course she was scared of someone cutting into her head but she didn't actually get a chance to properly think that through  and to think about the side effects since it happened so quickly.

But with this, chemotherapy treatment, over the past few weeks in which she had gotten to think and to wait for this, it had absolutely terrified her, she had done her own research through Google and through over glioblastoma patients stories and she had been told some things by a few doctors but the side effects and such were terrifying.

She would be fatigued and constantly tired or she would have insomnia, it could be either side of the spectrum and she wasn't entirely sure what she wanted out of the two.

She might be ill, as in nausea and sickness which didn't exactly sound that appealing to her.

Eden was told she would most likely lose her hair, which definitely wasn't a lovable side effect, it wasn't her least favourite though, of course she loves her hair but she wouldn't be that effected without it, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

According to her doctors the  chemotherapy would reduce her bodies capability to fight off infections so she would be at a higher risk of catching an infection that could make her seriously ill. Sounds fun.

She might suffer from anaemia, she had read on some medical website that chemotherapy lowers the amount of red blood cells in the body, if the amount of red blood cells in her body drops to low then she might develop anaemia, giving her a pale complexion, more severe fatigue and tiredness with a sprinkle of heart palpitations and shortness of breath. Gee this whole experience sounds incredibly fun.

Something that she was probably least excited for was her skin that would bruise easily, the nosebleeds and the bleeding gums, it didn't exactly sound like a trip to Disney.

But the thing that scared her most was the memory loss, the problems with short term memory, she'd lose concentration easily and have a short attention span. Her doctors had told her that the temporary solution for this for when it did happen could be writing herself reminders on her phone or on post it notes.

This whole experience terrified her, but she wasn't ready for death yet, and without treatment she would be dead within the year. She wasnt ready for that. Not yet anyway.

So really, her only reliable option was to go through with the treatment, and to suffer through the side effects.

Because without any of this, she wouldn't end up with any of the good times, or the good memories she would hopefully make in the future. And she was excited to make them, as much as she was scared, she couldn't wait for those good times, she couldn't wait for the future sleepovers with karl, and hopefully meeting her friends in real life.

Even as she got her iv placed, and her chemo administered, she thought of her brother, and her friends and it brought a smile to her face, a loving smile.

And up until the end she wanted to love and care for her friends no matter her health and mental state, even after her death and during it she wanted them to be happy.