Sunflower

Chapter 1

Staring at himself in the disgustingly dirty and slightly cracked mirror, trying to hold himself together, as he thinks to himself; Do I really want to be doing this for the rest of my life? Pezzy really didn't know if he could keep up doing the streaming and the YouTube videos forever. He was always falling behind on schedule, never feeling any motivation to stream, and when he does, he never truly enjoys it. Pezzy, always feels like he's letting down all of his subscribers, whenever he takes those long and extended breaks of not uploading or not streaming. He's always saying; "I'm on top of it", "I'm gonna get a good schedule for uploading videos", and... this one was his personal favorite -- and the most overused one. "I'm sorry for the lack of uploads, but I'm working on it". But is he really working on it per say? Yeah, no. He's not working on it.

He's just been feeling so burnt out. Burnt out on uploading. Burnt out on streaming. Just... burnt out on everything. Life included. It really do be like that. Life just gets the best of you, rips you apart and leaves you nowhere. Pezzy just feels life grab him by his soul, and it's breaking him down and it's grinding every inch of his sanity down to the point where there's going to be nothing left of him. He'll just be an empty shell of himself. Empty. Lifeless. Broken. No one. Nothing.

He's supposed to be having a session with Puffer, Droid, Grizzy, and Smii7y, for Mario Kart, but he doesn't even feel like he's either emotionally or mentally prepared to even join. Hell, they're probably just going to yell at him for being late to the session again (as per usual). Don't get me wrong, he loves his friends with his whole being, but sometimes he just doesn't like the jokes everyone makes on him. It genuinely makes him feel like crap sometimes. He doesn't want to say anything to make them mad, but he feels like he can't say anything around them sadly enough. They're his best friends, and he's scared to say something. Hell, he's not even going to be streaming this session of Mario Kart, so does it honestly really matter if he's late to it or not?

Spoiler alert; the answer is no!

Pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes, trying to prevent the waterworks from starting to overfill and just spill over. God, he felt like a goddamn child. How can he cry over something as little as this. Damn, he really is a child. Crying over a little inconvenience, that are basically his doings. "Quit crying, you fucking pussy. You're 26. You're not a child anymore." Pezzy told himself, while pointing at his depressed self in the mirror. Inhaling and exhaling a deep breath out, he walked out of the bathroom.

-

Pezzy made his way up to his office, in a slow and trudging manner. God he was dreading going to this session, and going to have put on a face for it. He's gonna have to fake his smile, his laugh, hell he's basically faking his whole personality at this point. Pezzy flopped down in his chair, and got his recording set up in OBS, getting the game set up, and finally joining the discord call. And for the record he was like 20 minutes late, but he didn't give a single fuck.

"Took you long enough, Pezzy, Jesus!" Puffer grumbled in a joke, as he began to laugh a little bit. Pezzy sighed softly, before he brought that fake smile on his face, and started to let out a forced laugh.

"Shut up, bitch." Pezzy replied with.

"Hey, but at least we had our own fun, while waiting for him." Smii7y said and to which Droid agreed.

"Oh yeah, the freaking three way 50 gifted subs for my channel." Droid responded with.

Pezzy widened his eyes. Three way 50 gifted subs for Droid's channel? Pezzy wondered why they never gift subs to his channel, sure it's their money, but he sometimes wonders why they never gift him anything. It's just that annoying feeling that doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. But why does it matter to him?

"We knew you were gonna be late but holy fuck." Grizzy retorted.

Pezzy sighed and decided not to say anything. What was he supposed to say to that? Ugh he'll just continue to take the punches, and pretend it doesn't hurt him. Just like he always does. "Alright you fuckers, are we gonna play the game or not?" Pezzy asked, as he laughed, earning some chuckles from Droid and Smii7y. Thank god, they didn't pick up on the slight anger that was surrounding his voice.

At least he hoped.

Right?

-

Many, many, many, many, rageful Mario Kart races later, everyone decided to call it night, as they had gotten many funny moments throughout the night. Puffer won most of the races, so did Smii7y. Droid and Grizzy won a couple of the races, and Pezzy won... zero. Yep, you got that right. But, at least Pezzy somewhat had fun when playing. Surprising, right? And that was mostly because of Droid. Droid kept him laughing the whole time.

Everyone had either ended their streams or just left the call to go to bed, get food, or to edit, so it was just Droid and Pezzy sitting in the call. "Soooo, how's your night been going man?" Droid asked, and Pezzy sighed, as he started to get more comfortable in his chair.

"Ehhh, could be better. But this night made it slightly better, I can tell you that." Pezzy replied, as he was swaying his chair from side to side, something that he picked up on, a few years ago.

"That's good," Droid said. It was silent for a few seconds, before he cleared his throat and began to speak again. "So, me and Grizzy are looking for another roommate, since we have a couple of extra rooms, and we were wondering --"

Pezzy cut him off. "Were wondering if I could move in with you?"

"W-well... yeah." Droid stuttered out. Even through the screen Pezzy could tell how nervous and flustered Droid was, like he was nervous to even ask Pezzy if he wanted to move in with him.

Staring at the bare and battered wall of his office in his Pennsylvanian home, he sighed softly. Maybe a change of scenery will help him pull out of this slump. I mean, when you experience change, you'll get better through it. Right? Right?

Sighing softly, he finally decided to speak up. "Sure. I'll move in with you guys."