Sunflower

Chapter 2

!WILL MENTION ALCOHOL ABUSE!

Change. It's weird. Some people love change. But, some people absolutely HATE change! And that someone was Pezzy. Pezzy, for the love of god, hates change! He's always been the one to absolutely despise the act of change, even if the change was either good or bad, he just -- he just hated it. Ever since he was a kid, he just hated change. But, maybe, maybe, oh just maybe, this change won't make him feel like he's about to throw up all over the floor and cry into a ball. This change was good! He was finally moving out of his shithole hometown, aka, Pennsylvania. He's been waiting to move out of here, ever since he graduated high school, but he just couldn't. Due to the hatefulness of change. Tomorrow he's moving in with Droid and Grizzy.

It's been about a month since Droid asked Pezzy if he could move in with him, and Pezzy is now starting to regret agreeing to the situation. It was the heat of the moment, and Pezzy still can't believe he's even doing this. I mean, come on driving twenty-five hours from Pennsylvania to Austin, Texas, BY HIMSELF, wasn't something he has been thinking about for the last month.

Not only the fact about him hating the change that was happening, he was starting to overthink a little bit. Like; "What if I'm a terrible roommate?", "Oh god, they're gonna find me annoying to live with!", "What if I fuck up our friendship by moving in?", and this -- this one is the kicker, "They're probably gonna kick me out when they get bored of me." God, he can't just enjoy one good moment can't he? It's always overthinking this, overthinking that. He's just surprised that nobody is sick of him yet. Or yet, maybe they are, and just haven't said anything about it yet. Yeah, that's it.

That's exactly it.

Okay, maybe not exactly it, but can you really blame Pezzy? How was he supposed to believe that this change was going to make him happy? Sometimes when life gets too good, it's hard to EVEN believe that this so-called happiness is even real, and it's going to stay, before a monster comes out of the shadows and rips it away from him. And leaving him alone, like he was a small child, ever so helplessly afraid, and alone. Sometimes it gets way too good to be true.

It happens to Pezzy sadly ever so often. He gets a happy moment, enjoys it for a little bit, and then suddenly it gets ripped away from him, leaving him so fragile... so alone... so broken. He feels like he can never truly be happy, because if he is, the world breaks him more, and the pain of being alone just gets worse leaving him worse than the last.

Shaking his head, with a deep sigh, Pezzy taped up the last box of stuff, and put it with the other boxes, and sighed once more. Looking around the room he smiled softly at the many great memories from streams he's had while being in this room, he even frowned of the sad moments, like when he would get blackout drunk, and just be crying on the floor by himself, because he pushed everybody away, and wouldn't let them help him, when he was in his depressive state.

"Tomorrow will be a fresh start. You'll be a whole new person. In a whole new state. It'll be different this time. I'm sure of it. You can do this." Pezzy told himself, trying to boost himself up, just in case he breaks down and has a panic attack from the constant numbing feeling of his brain buzzing around with the overthinking.

-

It's now the next day, and Pezzy has been driving for like twenty-four hours now. Man, he should've just taken a plane from Pennsylvania to Texas, but noooo he had to have scenic experience. But, thankfully he's almost there. Tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, as a random Chase Atlantic was playing on the radio, at a low volume, was keeping him calm in the dreadful silence that was surrounding him. God, he can't believe that in an hour, when he reaches Austin, that what he thought was a dream will actually turn into a goddamn reality.

Actually he can't do this! Is it too late to turn around and head back home? There's no way he could do this! It was times like this where he wished he had his mother with him to give him some guidance about how to handle situations like this. God, Austin, is so close, but feels so far away. No, is Pezzy serious, is it too late to turn back around and head back to his home in Pennsylvania. As he made it to the "Greetings from Austin!" sign came into his vision, he sighed softly.

"No turning back now." Pezzy whispered softly.