Sinful

Chapter 1

I sit on the comfortable sofa in my living room accompanied by my dog, Marilyn. I sip bitter black coffee while watching a nature program. My feet sit frozen on the floor while I watch killer whales soar through the ocean's water. Marilyn is pressed up against my thigh, just laying there. I turn her on and she starts barking and walking. There is nothing better to do on a Monday evening. I flip through more channels, there is a man pointing at the camera and saying something which is the news, there are pink and blue things talking together which is a children's program, and a stand up comedian speaking in an Indian accent which is the comedy channel. I keep it on comedy and get up from the couch. Marilyn falls to her side without my support. I grab the cup of coffee, with the cup half full, and throw it in the sink. 

I flick off the television and strip my clothes off my body until there is no more cloth hanging on me. I leave the clothes on the floor as my body soaks up the chilly air. I take the hairband from my wrist and tie my hair into a high bun. For a second I just stand naked and inhale the fresh air blowing through the window. Then I pull myself into the bathroom and turn on warm water. I clean my body fully which takes only a few minutes. I do it multiple times because I do not know what I'll do after this shower. 

The warm water beats down on my skin. The sensation of warm water against cold skin causes a smile to grow on my face. I turn the shower off and step out. I take the dark green towel on the counter and dry off my naked body. Instead of doing a great job drying, I leave the towel wrapped around my body, letting it hang like a dress. 

I pace toward the kitchen and grab a cold water from the refrigerator. I take a sip of water and I feel it creep it's way down my throat. My phone suddenly vibrates loudly in the family room across from the kitchen. I walk quickly into the family room and pick up my phone. It is my manager, Derek, calling. I unlock my phone and answer the call, "Hello?" my welsh accent chimes in a musical tone. 

There is silence on the other side for a few seconds. "Hello, Marina," he says. "We have gotten calls from Katherine saying that a great population of your fans have wanted a collaboration between Lana Del Rey and you. Now do you know what would happen to your career if you and Lana were to agree to this?" 

I take another sip of cold water and don't think much of it. I shrug my shoulders although he can't see me doing it, "I don't know. What?" I ask. I wasn't really paying attention to what he said or else I might've known what would happen. I was just so bored and lazy today that I didn't really know or care about anything. I'm just stuck inside my mind today. 

"You'd be huge! Big success!" he says enthusiastically. "This is what you always wanted, Marina." He pauses as if he expects me to say something when I am speechless. "So we need you to confirm it, you need to come to the studio and sign some papers. Yes or no?" he asks. 

I set my water down on the dark brown coffee table that lays in front of my sofa. A wide smile spreads across my face, "Yes! Of course! I'm on my way right now!" I say while taking off the towel leaving me completely exposed. "I already have Lana's number and did you contact her yet?" I ask while walking into my bedroom. 

"Yes, we have contacted her manager. An answer will be made by tomorrow, if not tonight. When she says yes, it'll be official. You'll be huge," he says with a slight chuckle at the end. His voice seems friendly tonight; probably because he is giving himself credit for being a stable manager who can make an ordinary girl into a big celebrity. 

I hang up my phone and don't stop my smile from spreading wide. I collect my clothes and lay them on my bed. I pull on my underpants, then skinny jeans. I tug my bra on and long sleeved t-shirt. I zip up my thin jacket and pull my beret over my head. When I leave my home, I lock the door behind me and climb into my vehicle. 

On the drive to the studio, I wear a smile. I can't help but think of the questions that will remain unanswered until she confirms our request. What will our song be called? What will my fans reactions be? How much money will I make off of it? Where will the song rank on the charts? I just can't believe the dream I always had and thought would never come true is coming true. 

I pull into the studio's parking lot where there is my reserved parking. I get out of the car and swing the door open to the lobby where nobody is, as usual. I press the arrow pointing upward on the elevator. It arrives to the chime of a bell and opens to a small space with tanned colored walls. I walk in and press the button that has a 3 printed on it. The door shuts and I am alone with my thoughts, again. I pick at the skin on the side of my fingers and the elevator doors open revealing my manager. "Hey Derek," I say. He stares at me blankly. "Where are the papers?" 

He looks at me awkwardly like I have come to the wrong place. "I guess you didn't look at your phone. We tried contacting you...multiple times," he says. There is a long pause of us exchanged glances. Now I'm confused. "Lana's manager contacted us, she said no." 

My mouth hangs open for about a minute without me realizing. I just think about how terrible this is for me. "What? She said no?" I ask, disappointedly. I know what he said but I can't believe it. I can't let her do that. 

"Lana said no," he confirms.