Sinful

Chapter 5

Lana pulls away from my lips for a moment. I hold her head in my hands. This is the only time our lips have parted. "What?" I ask frowning. She locks her eyes with mine. I can see the reflection in her glistening brown eyes. The sunlight makes them look golden and the wind blows the black hair out of her face. In this moment, Lana looks like a real goddess. Her wavy hair cascades down the sides of each shoulder. She is beautiful.

Her eyes stay focused on mine. "It's just that your one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen," she smiles. She floats toward my body and presses her lips against mine and moves them in a familiar motion. I mimic the way she moves her lips with mine slowly easing my tongue into her mouth. She lets out a quiet moan in pleasure as her hands touch my stomach. Although the water surrounding us is freezing my skin, every time she moves her hands against my bare skin, it sends a burning sensation that makes me desire her touch even more.

Our tongues collide. Her warm tongue sends chills down my spine and leaves me begging for more. It's hard to stop now. Why am I so attracted to someone that isn't a male? This had never happened before. I wonder if I was the first for her, too. "Maybe we should finish this inside," she says. Our lips parted again. I wish I could say I was fine ending it out here, but am I fine with ending it at all? It already seemed so sinful to carry on then, but to keep going? "Upstairs," she adds. Her hands have not moved from my neck. "In my bedroom." I keep staring. My mind screams at me to say something, but I'm speechless. I'm in my mind, thinking deeply, making the decision of continuing. My mind says no, but my heart says yes. "You're not ready yet, I'm sorry," Lana says while collecting herself. She steps out of the pool, "I'm so embarrassed, I'm sorry, Marina."

I step out with her. "No, no, no, Lana it is fine. Let's go upstairs," I say. Hopefully she'll buy into it. I'm still not sure of anything, of my actions, of how I feel. Lana has it figured out. She loves me back. She wants me.

Lana grabs my wrists and pulls them to the front of my body as if she has me handcuffed. Her hand wraps around them and pulls me along with her long strides. She takes me upstairs to her bedroom. The walls are a creamy color and there is a queen-sized bed laid out in the middle. A long chandelier glistens with crystals disappearing into the light. She is in control of how bright the light is, Lana puts it to dim. Her bed is nicely made and her room is cleaned neatly. It's like she was expecting me to come into her bedroom.

Lana kisses me again. Her lips more rough this time. She knows I like her. Or do I? Maybe my body is just experimenting. Her hands grip the back of my neck again and I continue kissing back. Lana begins pushing me backwards and our lips still stay together; her kisses becoming softer now as we both pull away. She pushes my back against the soft cushions on her bed. My head lays on a pillow as she climbs on top of me.

My mind is practically yelling at me, screaming actually, to stop. Lana's movements are somehow attracting me and making my heart turn away from my mind like there are two people in one body. One desires for her love, the other disagrees. It's so difficult to love Lana, yet so easy.

Lana's hands explore my body as if she was blind and wants to know the figure of my body. She pulls off the bottom piece of my swimming wear and we both gasp at the same time. "Lana I," I start. My mind encourages me to tell her no, stop. "Lana, I-" I hesitate once more looking for the perfect words.

It's like when you're on a roller coaster. Before the drop. Your eyes take a minute to fix to the high view, Lana's expression. Your breath is stolen in this position, self explanatory. Your mind is racing. You feel the need to throw up even though you know the experience your about to feel will go down in history. It feels like it's too late to turn back. A hush falls over everyone's voices until you need to yell, I need to speak.

Lana awaits for my answer. I don't want her to feel like I don't like her back, but I honestly don't know if I do. Like the roller coaster, a hush falls upon the room. Also like a roller coaster, it's a little late to turn back. The bottom half of my body is completely exposed to Lana. Oh, the hell with it. "Lana... I want you to eat me out," I say pulling her into another kiss.