Sinful

Chapter 4

I lay back on my couch to relax. My head rests on the fluffy pillow that used to lay on my bed. Whenever I clear my mind, I start thinking of the way I felt with Lana last night. When Lana asked me if I was okay I really wasn't. I ran out and after the first whiff of air, I started to puke all over the hotel's porch. It's hard to understand why I started to puke, I wasn't drunk or anything. Lana helped me clean up my vomit and then sent me to sleep like my mother would.

The way I felt with Lana makes me curious. Instead of laying back and forgetting about it, I do a detailed Internet search. 'What does it mean when you are with someone and have butterflies which leads to throwing up?' Nope. That's too detailed. 'What does it mean to have butterflies when you're with a friend?' No. 'What does it mean to have butterflies when you're with someone?' Yes. There are answers. 'You're drunk' Nope. 'They're in love' Maybe. 'Or you're in love.' Yes. I mean no. No, I'm not in love with Lana. She's a girl. I'm straight. The puzzle pieces don't fit.

Lana's text tone makes me jump. 'Hey Marina. What was that last night? Are you okay?' she asks. I don't even know. Am I okay? I was acting strange lately. I've been lost. Sometimes I just confuse myself, but I'm completely mad lately.

I text back, 'I'm okay. Thanks Lana. Can you come over tonight? I'm free.' Lana suggests that I come to her house and I say 'okay.' I've never been to her house before but I assume it is big along with her success. I get ready by taking a quick shower, spray perfume on my body and hair, put on a long yellow dress, put on a light shade of red lipstick, and pull on my navy blue hat. Lana texts me the address, I set it in my GPS and head toward her home.

My car reaches a house big enough to earn the name of a mansion. When I get out of the car to knock on the door it already slams open and Lana greets me with a hug, "Marina!" she yells. "Come in, I'll show you around." Lana tours me through her massive house. She shows me four bedrooms, three living rooms, her pool, a room only full of clothes, and her own gym, WOW. "Here's a refreshment," Lana says, pouring liquor into a tall glass.

My eyes widen. "Oh Lana, you know me well," I laugh while grabbing the glass. I have a lot of experience with alcohol, it takes a huge amount of liquor to make my head start fogging. I drink the whole cup and Lana looks at me weird. "What?" I ask.

Lana takes a sip and shakes her head. "Um, nothing," she lies. "Hey, I have an idea," Lana starts, "It's a hot, sunny day. Why not have some pool time?" she suggests. While waiting for my answer she chugs down the rest of the liquor in her glass, I guess she's not that bad handling alcohol, too.

I think of an excuse. I think I'm chubby, I don't want Lana to see me in a two piece. "I would, but I don't have a bathing suit here," I say. "And I don't know how to swim." That's another lie, I took lessons for five years straight up to the life guard stage. "Sorry," I say as Lana fills my drink halfway.

"No problem, just borrow mine and stay in the shallow end," she says grabbing my wrist. Lana pulls me upstairs to her clothes closet again. "Two piece or one?" she asks. I shrug. She gives me both and sends me to her large washroom.

The washroom is mostly white. It has a large window looking out into a green forest. It's beautiful, magnificent actually. If I lived in this house then this would be the place I'd spend most of my time. Looking out into the green trees and writing some new lyrics. A slight draft comes in from an open window to the right and I'm interrupted by my thoughts, "Marina, do any of them fit you?" Lana calls from behind the door.

"Uh, I don't know! I didn't try them yet!" my voice echoes. I strip off my clothes and feel a little exposed because I'm in front of a huge window, but I can't picture any people walking through that forest. I could only assume its private. I first try on the one piece, it fits me but my rolls are visible. Then I try on the two piece. The bottom fits me well, but my boobs don't fit in the top piece. "Lana, do you have a bigger top piece?" I ask.

"I think so! Which size?" she calls. I hear her footsteps right outside the bathroom.

"The biggest one!" I yell. I open the door and Lana slides it in and tries not peeking. I pull on the new top piece and it fits. My bathing suit is mismatched but at least it fits and my fat isn't as noticeable. I open the door and Lana looks at me up and down. "I know, I know, I look fat."

"No, no, no, you look great," she says while leading me into the backyard. Her pool is a deep blue and the sunlight cascading over the water makes it look like glitter. The sun beating down on our skin is uncomfortably hot so I decide to just step into the pool. At first it's vastly cold until I move around a bit. "Marina, I'm sorry for dragging you out here. I know you don't know how to swim and I just saw it in your eyes that you didn't want to come out here. But I really appreciate it. I couldn't go in here alone again so I took the opportunity while you were here, I'm sorry," she apologizes.

"No, honey. I'm glad I'm out here. I didn't want to come but now I'm happy I did. Actually I'm sorry for lying. I do know how to swim," I smile. We both share a laugh until it occurs to me what she meant by "I couldn't go out here alone AGAIN." I just let my feet float on the surface at times and hear the birds chirp. Lana tells me she'll be right back and leaves.

I lay on my back floating in the water. My head tilted back, my eyes closed, hearing what's beyond the forest. It relaxes me, just the breeze, nature, and I. "Are you falling asleep?" I hear Lana laugh behind me. "I got us martini glasses and I don't know if you like gummy bears but I brought some," she says shaking the cup. "Here I'll bring it in the pool."

As I watch Lana climb in the pool, I get that feeling in my stomach again. The feeling of butterflies, nausea, and a spinning head. Once again, I can only focus on Lana's beauty. Oh no. What if the Internet was right? What if I DO like Lana? There is only one way to find out. I have to put my body to the test. For now I need to hold back my gagging.

"Here's yours," she says handing me a martini drink with creamy green liquid inside. I've had this one before, I think it's called a grasshopper. "And here's mine," she says clinging her drink with mine. "Cheers."

I nearly knock it down my throat all at once. Then I decide now would be a good time to confess to Lana so I spit everything out. "I think I like you," I say swallowing hard. Everything behind the silence comes from the creatures in the forest. Lana just stares at me while she sips her grasshopper.

"Are you sure?" she asks once she gulps it down.

I don't know what came over me. It's like the devil inside me was controlling my actions. I took Lana's head in my heads and kissed her lips. Her soft lips against mine made me see fireworks. The butterflies were beating damn hard inside my stomach. The Internet was right? I do like Lana.

Authors note:

I know these notes are kind of annoying but sorry about the bad chapter. I was in a rush to post it and I was kind of distracted while writing :( I'll make it up to you with the next chapter.