Until I Found you

Nine

"This baklava is delicious, Ayfer Hanım," Ryan acclaimed as he took another bite of the sweet. "You both bake deliciously," he commented to Eda, a moan escaping his lips.

Eda smiled at Ryan.

"How do you find my daughter, Dr. Bell?"

"Ryan, call me Ryan," he requested. "She is wonderfully talented. And I'm learning a lot from her. I think we will be a great team. And we are getting to be great friends, right, Edacim?"

Eda grinned at him. "Yes, for sure."

Conversation with Ryan and her mother was easy and comforting. Eda could return to her usual self and be thankful to have had Ryan here to hold her as she broke down. At times like this, she missed Ceren and Melo by her side. But she couldn't involve them in this, too. Not when it had to do with Serkan. Eda realized in the last few years, her circle of friends had changed, and it all revolved around the Bolats. And this made leaving her life with them all the more challenging.

When Ryan finally left, Eda helped Ayfer clean up and wash the dishes.

"He seems like a nice guy," Ayfer commented. "And he's charming. I guess his dog didn't throw up after all," she teased Eda.

"He is a great friend. We've been seeing each other outside of work. We're taking things slow. He knows I'm still hung up on Serkan, like you said Sunday night. But he's sweet and patient, and we have a lot of fun together. We also share many interests, which makes conversing with him anything but boring," she told her mother.

Eda started drying the glasses and dishes to put them away.

"I was harsh in how I spoke to you on Sunday night. And I know you decided to give notice to the Bolats because of me. But Eda, I love you. And I hate to see you unhappy." Ayfer told her. "I adore Kiraz as well. I get along great with Aydan. I think Melo is a wonderful friend. Ceren, too. None of them need to leave your life just because you stopped working with Serkan," Ayfer acknowledged. "I wouldn't want them to."

"I know you only want me to be happy, Anne. I also know that you're concerned about my health. And I've given you reasons to worry lately. I've been vomiting and falling asleep suddenly again," Ayfer widened her eyes at the mention of fainting. "I hadn't had these crises since I was 11. I'd learn to prevent them by exercising regularly. Still, I rarely feel like eating lately. And if I do, which is very rare, it's like I am a bottomless pit and cannot stop. I'm always tired, though when I sleep, I never rest...." Eda listed until she ran out of steam. "I acknowledged all you said, Anne. And I reflected on it. At length."

"I don't want you depressed again, Kızım,"

Eda nodded and hugged her mother.

"What did you speak to Ryan earlier that left you so tearful?" Ayfer enquired delicately.

"I told him about...." Eda's voice broke, and she told Ayfer the truth since she couldn't lie to her mother. "I miss Baba a lot, Anne. I miss him even more now that I must leave Kiraz. It's like I'm reliving the time when he passed away. Only I have a choice to spare Kiraz the pain I went through, and I'm not."

"This is Serkan's fault," Ayfer complained.

"Is it? I'm certain that for something to happen between two people, they both must want it to happen. And I wanted it to happen, Anne. I thought what I gave Serkan would be enough for him. But I'm not Selin. And it's not his fault that he doesn't love me as he did her. You are right. Serkan hurt and belittled me for reasons I could not understand. He had never been cruel to anyone, especially not me. And it is this change that is causing me to leave," Eda breathed hard as she sobbed but pushed herself to continue. "But I love him too much, Anne. And being strong and not falling back to him is not easy. Not when he's the first thing I think about in the morning and the last at night. Do you know how difficult it is to rest knowing he is not beside me?"