Until I Found you

Thirteen

"Heaven was only centimeters away."

- Sabahattin Ali, Madonna in a Fur Coat

"So explain this to me again... Serkan demanded that you broke up with Ryan and affirmed you'd get married, and that was that? He just decreet it?" Ceren asked while she nursed a cup of grape juice, pretending it was wine.

"Yes," Eda told her, stuffing her mouth with the little cucumber sandwiches they were sharing. Ceren had decided to forgo a 5-course meal and opted for sandwiches and sweets. Much more up her and Eda's alley.

"I remember when you first came into our lives. I didn't like you one bit. I didn't know about Efe yet. I had no idea that Serkan and Selin were on the brink of a divorce. I could only see how you affected everyone in that family, and it pained me to think that my sister could be suffering. I held that belief for a very long time. Then you did the unthinkable. You used your influence to my sister's benefit. And I just hated the fact that I couldn't hate you anymore."

Eda just watched Ceren.

"Things changed then, Eda. Not only for me or for Selin but for Serkan, too. I'd noticed that you liked him more than was wise. Especially since he didn't have eyes for anyone other than Selin or my niece. But after you confronted him about Selin's treatment, he started to look at you differently. Someone shook Serkan to his core for the first time since I'd known him. Someone interested him enough to drive him away from work."

"He enjoys bickering with me. That's not a big deal."

"No, Eda. Selin and Serkan's relationship was very passive. You and Serkan are like fire and gunpowder. You exploded."

"Nice analogy, Cer," Eda mocked.

"Fine... from what I hear, though, he's been trying."

"I'm expecting him to blow up any second," Eda recognized.

"And if he doesn't?" Ceren told her, trying to raise her hopes.

"I won't be holding my breath this time," Eda admitted.

***

"You know, you've gotten me used to drinking lemon water and watching the stars whenever I'm stressed. And it's helping. Maybe I shouldn't give you ammunition against me, but I wanted to thank you for it. It's been difficult lately," Serkan confessed while he played with a strand of Eda's hair.

"It'll get easier," Eda assured him.

"I wish it wouldn't hurt so much," Serkan told her. And Eda reached out his hand and held it in hers. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to turn your birthday into a venting session."

Eda smiled at him, "It's 6:45 a.m., and you brought me to the best place to watch the sunrise in the city. I'm not going to complain."

Serkan hugged Eda's waist from behind and kissed her shoulder, leaving his chin against it. "I could spend the entire day right here," Serkan said, inhaling Eda's scent.

"Maybe I'll let you," Eda teased.

She and Serkan were about to kiss when he started saying her name over and over and over again. Then Eda shook awake, seeing Kiraz in front of her.

"Baby," Eda said, sobering up as she sat.

"I dreamed that the baby died, and you went away. And then Baba locked himself in his room and didn't want to see me anymore because it was my fault," Kiraz cried into Eda's chest.

"I'm okay. Nothing is wrong with the baby. And your Baba is fine," Eda assured her as she rocked her back and forth on her lap.

Kiraz was wet; she'd messed herself up. Eda couldn't remember the last time Kiraz had wet the bed. It must have been an awful nightmare. Like the ones I used to have, she recalled.