𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 - p. anselmo

chapter 7 - amanda, the groupie

1991
Denali

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

"So, we heard from an interview we had with Pantera that you and Jeff don't get along all too well, how is that?" My first interview and it was already turned to shit by this certain question.

"How else can it go right? I'd think it's pretty bad considering he knows if he even opened his mouth to me, he'd pay for it." I shrugged, saying it nonchalantly as if I didn't care yet I did.

"I didn't know that things were that bad between you two!? Any details on that topic?"

"Not any that is be willing to share today...another story for another time..." I said. Someday I'd expose him, and he'd be in deep waters from that day on.

The interview moved along and I got ready for my show, low and behold their was Annihilator. I looked at Jeff in disgust, knowing I'd knock him out if I had the chance to do so.

"We need to talk..."

"Here's something, go fuck yourself" I said catching the attention of people surrounding us. Phil approached me and stood with me as Jeff looked for me to go with him.

"I know you're angry, but please I need to talk to you" he said, obviously pretending to be sympathetic.

"Fine, just know if you try anything I'm not hesitating."

"Denny you can't be serious-"

"I've got this Phil, if it's another thing I can get him on I will"

Without another word, I left with Jeff to his dressing room. As we entered the rest of the guys stepped out and it was just us alone. "So what? Wanna try and use me again?" I ask.

"You know that night wasn't supposed to be intended that way" he commented, almost cutting me off. He was nervous, his fractures made that clear. Moving a lot, looking around, and giving off annoyed cringing.

"How was you putting your hands on me not supposed to be intended in a certain way because to me, that was wrong" I snapped back making him have to think a little harder on his next attack.

"You think I'm lying? I wouldn't do something like that to you or anyone" He lied through his teeth.

"Well you did unfortunately and now you have to live with that. You are just too pussy to admit it"

"No one will believe you, they'll believe me" he said getting closer to me.

"How is that" I ask standing in my spot, not moving or letting him and his lies effect me.

"They'll believe me if I tell them you were asking for it, you made a move on me first"

"Phil was there, you can't just pull lies from your ass" I said, fearing that maybe he could pull this off...

"But I can. So if you don't want that to happen, you better keep your mouth shut, no more bullshit like you did today" he said, leaving the room.

I began to worry, what would Phil or any of the guys do if they knew. Would anyone else believe me? His ego was bigger then mine, I had a slimmer chance of people believing me over him...

I walked out and found Phil again. "How did it go?" He asked.

"Good, he apologized and explained to me how things weren't supposed to be that way and how he was drunk"

"You don't believe him right?"

"I can tell when people lie, he wasn't. Doesn't mean I trust him though."

It felt awful to lie about such a topic, but I had to for my safety. Someday it would come out, but not today. Not while my fame is just starting up...

"Okay...just promise me you won't do anything you'll regret with him"

"Of course" I respond.

"Good..." with that the Pantera boys took the stage, doing what they did best leaving me to wait for my turn. Now every day would carry on the same, I'd have this secret that would keep me up at night...

*weeks later*

After the shows it was the same thing. Drink until you blacked, kiss people you didn't know, and do it again. I did it to keep me from reminding myself that if I said anything, I'd pay for it. Recently, Phil has distancing himself from me which was just what I needed to pile on with the rest of my problems.

The one thing keeping me going was the overload of fans that I have gained in Europe. From Germany, to Italy, and now onto France. I took advantage of being in France for the reason that I knew mostly of what people said and to help the guys order foods and all that good stuff. Darrell still hadn't made a comeback on me from all the yelling I put him through, but I would take it as something good. It was hard to deny that I grew close to these guys as if they were my own family or at least just for 10 months.

It sounded stupid but it hurt to watch Phil with groupies. I know it's a part of touring, I felt jealous. He wasn't mine and I wasn't his, but something made me feel safe with him. We weren't "best friends", we weren't dating so what could we be? Their is no definition for that.

So as I sit in the corner of this hotel room and watch these two get along, just like me and him would it felt more then just some "groupie".

Her smile, her hair, and her body were gorgeous. Something I lacked. Yeah, sure I had a nice body and a "look" as the guys called it, but no where as near as what she had.

Was that Phil's type? Was I not in his standards?