NO SHAME

IV

CW:Abuse

The smell of alcohol and cigarettes hit me before I even walked through the door.

"Jake?" I called out after shutting the door.

"In here!" He called back, allowing me to locate my boyfriend in our apartment.

I walked into the kitchen and dropped my bag on the table before I halted at the sight in front of me.

Beer bottles and cigarettes littered the kitchen as Jake sat at the counter with more alcohol and a cigarette between his lips.

"Jake, what are you doing?" I asked cautiously as I stepped closer to him.

"How was your little date with Mr. Celebrity?" He slurred.

"You know it's not real, I've told you it's a pr stunt. I'll lose my job if I don't go with it," I reiterated.

"So you've said."

"I don't understand what's going on."

"You're being a whore, that's what's going on."

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I yelled at my boyfriend.

He stood up quickly and got in my face, making me no longer feel safe in my own apartment. Jake grabbed my wrists to stop me from walking away from him when I tried to turn out of his grasp.

"Don't you dare fucking yell at me like that," he seethed. "It's not me who's off whoring around with some asshole because I fucked up one simple task on my first day of work."

"Jake, let go of me," I said calmly.

Jake released my wrists and gave me a shove before he stormed out of the apartment.

I took a few steps back until I felt my back hit the wall and slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. I looked at my wrists to make sure they weren't bruised before I covered my face with my hands out of frustration.

I let the tears fall until I felt like I couldn't cry anymore and finally stood up from the wall. I pulled out my phone and dialed the first number I could think of.

"Hello?" Luke answered on the first ring.

"Hey, sorry I don't know why I called I just- I don't have anyone else to call and I'm freaking out right now, and I know we aren't even friends but, I don't know I just really needed someone to talk to and-"

"Are you crying?" He interrupted my rambling. I hadn't even noticed I was crying until he said something, but now that I had, I couldn't stop the sobs from coming.

"Aspen? What's wrong?" Luke asked calmly. I didn't know why he was being so nice, he was never nice.

"I um- my boyfriend he was really drunk when I got home and he was angry. Like super angry, and I just asked what happened and then he started yelling at me and calling me a whore a-and then I tried to tell him not to call me that and he got even more angry and he got in my face and he was so mad that he grabbed my wrists- and now my wrists hurt and I don't know. He's never like this, I don't understand what's happening," I sobbed into the phone.

"Was it because of the dating thing?"

"Yeah." My voice felt so small when I answered him.

I've never been scared of Jake. He's never done anything like this, but in that moment, I was terrified of him.

"Do you think we could like, I don't know, meet somewhere or something because I really don't want to be alone and I especially don't want to be here when he comes back?" I asked. I knew I was taking a leap of faith in asking, but I was hoping Luke would catch me.