NO SHAME

XXXI

As much as I loved getting to go on tour with the guys, I was also kind of glad to be going home finally. The last four months had been an absolute blast, but also absolutely tiring. I was excited about getting to be back home with Luke and sleeping in one place.

The last stop of the tour was Spain, and the boys played their hearts out for the very last show. I'd never been more proud of someone as I was those boys for giving it their all each time they played a show. Getting to watch them live was such an amazing experience and I'm so glad that I was asked to go on this tour with them.

The long plane ride consisted of me and Luke quietly talking before falling asleep on each other. We were both so tired from traveling, but glad we got to do it together.

The car ride back to Luke's house had me feeling more anxious than ever as I had to talk to him about something that was very important to me, but I knew he wouldn't like it. I didn't know how he would react, but I was hoping that it wouldn't be too severe of a reaction.

I quietly followed Luke inside and the two of us headed straight to bed because of how exhausted we were. I knew I was kind of delaying the conversation, but I also knew that this wasn't a conversation that I wanted us to have with both of us tired.

I woke up the next day to find that Luke was no longer in bed and I gently pulled myself up to go find him. It didn't take me long to find him, as he was waiting for me in the kitchen with some coffee and breakfast.

"Goodmorning, my love," Luke said as he wrapped his arms around me and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"Hi, Luke. Someone's awfully cheerful this morning," I smiled.

"I'm just happy to get some alone time with you finally."

I smiled at Luke and let him lead me to a chair at the counter. We both sat down and began to eat, just enjoying the peace and each other.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Luke asked once we were done eating.

"Actually, Luke, there's something I need to talk to you about," I started as I began to turn my body on the chair so that I was facing him, Luke copying the action.

"Okay?" He trailed off to let me know he was confused but had I had his attention.

"While we were on tour I was thinking about this, and did some searching too, and I found an apartment for me to move into."

"What, why? You've already been living with me for a few months, and we've been dating for a bit too, why would you want to move out?"

"It's nothing against you, I promise, but we've only been together for a little bit, and I've never had my own space like that before, I feel like I just need to do this."

"So what if we've only been together for a few months?"

"I don't want to move too quickly Luke, I think living apart for a bit will be good for us, I mean we've literally been inseparable for months."

"What, so you don't want to be around me anymore?"

"You know that's not what I meant nor said, Luke. Do not twist my words," I was angry now, but kept my tone calm to try and stop the argument that was beginning.

"I just don't get why you don't want to live with me anymore, I mean, we're dating, we're adults, we'll be living together eventually, so why not continue?"

"I want to do this for myself, to have my own place for once and not just rely on my boyfriend to provide me with a place to live. I've already found a place, I just need to sign the lease now."

"What? You can't- Aspen, please," Luke begged.

"Luke, I'm not having this argument with you. This isn't up for discussion, it's my decision," I told him.

    "Can you just leave and give me some space for a bit? I need some alone time right now," Luke demanded.

    "Fine."

    "Fine."

    I stood from my chair and grabbed my keys and purse before getting in my car to head over to Calum's for a few hours. A few tears threatened to escape, but I didn't let myself cry until I was in the car and knew that Luke wasn't following me outside. I pulled out of the driveway and began to make my way to Cal's, tears streaming down my face.