Rowan was excited for Tanner to come back this summer. This year, it finally happened! Rowan started to go through puberty. And it was fast. And his voice got deeper. He was so happy to show Tanner how much he’d grown.
Tanner was indeed impressed by how much Rowan had changed. Rowan now stood at about 5’6 while Tanner had grown to 5’9. Rowan grew five inches. His voice was a few octaves lower. And they both noticed that some hair was growing above their lips and chin.
But most of all, something else happened. Something that Tanner didn’t expect to happen. Rowan began to intrigue him. There were times when Tanner couldn’t stop looking at the blonde boy. This was also the time when arousal was a thing so Tanner found himself at night struggling to sleep. And the one thing he thought of was Rowan.
The blonde boy loved to show off how much he’d grown. He knew Tanner was right and that his chance would come.
But home life was still the same. His father went back to hitting his son everyday. And the boys at school still terrorized him. He would sometimes wonder what he did to deserve their hate. Rowan just sat in the back of the class and didn’t bother anyone else.
“I have a confession to make.” Tanner said. Rowan was busy making sure to hide his thighs and cover the cuts he’d made himself.
“Yeah? What is it?” Rowan asked.
“I broke up with Lana.” Tanner responded. This was a bit of a shock to Rowan. Tanner had talked about how much he liked this girl. He won’t lie and say he wasn’t happy.
“Why? I thought you liked her.” The blonde boy tried to hide his excitement.
“Well, I thought about it. I guess I don’t like her that much. I saw her more as a friend.” Tanner fidgeted with his fingers. Truth is, during the relationship, he didn’t feel much for Lana. When they held hands, he was brought back to the summer months when he would hold Rowan’s hand. He knew this wasn’t normal. But he couldn’t tell anyone.
“Oh. Well, did you have your first kiss?” Rowan asked.
“Mmhmm. It wasn’t that interesting.” Tanner didn’t really like the kiss. It was just a small peck that he and Lana had behind a tree.
“Is that why you broke up with her? Because the kiss didn’t feel good.” Rowan asked.
“I broke up with her because the kiss didn’t feel right.” Tanner watched as Rowan’s face blushed bright red. “Have you had your first kiss?” He then asked Rowan. Rowan looked up and didn’t know how to respond.
Would Tanner call him a loser for not having his first kiss yet? “No, I haven’t. No one wants to kiss me.” Rowan continued to adjust his shorts to cover his cuts.
“I’m sure someone out there would love to kiss you! I would bet on that!” Rowan blushed again. He wants to kiss Tanner. And he wants Tanner to kiss him. Maybe the taller boy would take pity on him and kiss him.
“I want to save my first kiss for someone special.” Rowan made sure to look at Tanner when he said this. It’s an obvious sign. But the red head was oblivious.
“Yeah, I probably should’ve done that, heh.” Tanner laughed. He made brief eye contact with Rowan. There was a small spark between the boys. Like a powder keg that had been lit with a match. And the fire spread between both boys.
Tanner was the first to look away and awkwardly laughed. A small blush came on his face. He doesn’t know what’s happening. He doesn’t know what that was. It scared him a bit. He never felt this way with Lana.
Rowan was the only person who made Tanner feel… butterflies. That’s the word that best describes what it was.
Rowan had seen the spark. There’s no way. He refuses to believe that there’s something becoming between them. Maybe he was imagining that in his desperate attempts to find some sort of affection.
“Who do you have in mind?” Tanner asked, breaking the silence that had come over them.
“Uhh. No one comes to mind. Honestly, I think kisses are the last thing on my mind.”
“It’s never too late to have your first kiss. You can wait as long as you want.” Tanner put his hand on Rowan’s exposed knee. Rowan shivered at the touch. Not just because of how close he was to his cuts, but the warm feeling of his hand.
Despite being single, Rowan would never force Tanner to fall in love with him. He’s heard of people forcing someone to fall in love with them. Rowan never understood why people do that. Love isn’t something you force. It just happens when two very likely people connect.
He sometimes wondered why Aunt Ava didn’t love anyone. She was a woman who lived alone with no one else. Rowan mentioned this. She said that sometimes in life, love doesn’t work out. Either from a bad experience or being too late. Ava was adamant on discussing to Rowan that he shouldn’t be afraid to tell someone he loves them. Emphasis on the them.
Terrifying news came out that Ava found out about a few days before Tanner left. According to one of her friends who works at the sheriff's office, a body was discovered on the side of the road at Crescent. The body was frail, thin, and on the verge of decay.
When the body was brought to Sunriver, there were signs of an overdose. Based on the description, it was determined that the body belonged to Rowan’s mother, Regina Vaughn. She had died after she left her family from an overdose.
Ava questioned if she should tell Rowan. She understands the damage that woman inflicted on the poor boy. Instead, she’ll wait for a while. Sprinkle in the mention of his mother and see how Rowan feels about her. Then drop the ball and be there for the boy.
Before Tanner left in August, he needed to do something to Rowan. Tanner had made a small simple bracelet for Rowan. Three cubes were in the middle.
‘R+T’
He gave it to Rowan who was on the verge of tears. They hugged for a while before Tanner got the courage to do something small but impactful.
He kissed Rowan on the cheek. Unlike the kiss with Lana, this one lasted longer.
“There! You said no one would kiss you. Well, I just did!” Rowan rubbed the spot and felt utter joy that someone kissed him. Even if it wasn’t on the lips, that didn’t lessen how important it was to him.
“Thanks, Tanny. I can't wait until next summer already!” They both hugged even tighter this time.
On the drive to California, Tanner kept thinking about that kiss. It was a small one but he felt more love in those five seconds than he did being with Lana for over a year.
Perhaps the kiss meant more to not just Rowan but to him as well.
He’ll be seeing Rowan again soon. Even in their distance, they felt close. If only Tanner knew that the next summer, Rowan would reach a point of no return.
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bye! i love you all!
<3
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honeysuckle ✔️
RomanceRowan hated his life. At 7 years old, his parents didn't love him and he was abused everyday. It was faith that Tanner, a bubbly kid who's visiting his aunt in Oregon, runs into a crying Rowan. Every summer, the two meet at the same honeysuckle flow...
