SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND
CHAPTER 31
NOZIMANGA
Hearing about my ex-husband being admitted and being in a coma triggered a lot of emotions. I don’t hate him, and I don’t wish bad upon him. I am glad to say I have healed and took a decision to live past that life. It happened and there is no way of me crying over spilled milk. I need to embrace the little human that Is in my womb and have to enjoy my pregnancy, if it is possible. I worry about a lot of things, for instance like Simphiwe. I get it – he should not be on my mental list but honestly, I cannot help it.
“S...” I want to ask about Simphiwe’s health, but I don’t want to be that ex-wife that sticks her nose where it does not belong. He looks at me for about a minute before responding.
“Just got a call and he has woken up. I don’t know what will happen from now onwards. The family sued the hospital.” Jele responds. I feel my heart breaking for him. He has kids to take care of. How will he survive without any income? He cannot even rely on his family! That family is always out and about when one is high and leaving large.
“Ow.” that Is all my mouth could mutter at this moment. I honestly don’t know how to respond to the situation. Do I support him or let him be? He will figure this out on his own? I don’t want to step foot on the wrong path. But I still do care about him and his kids. I wish I could just put in a helping hand once in a while. I want him to know that I do not hate him for a second. He must not have any regrets. He just needs to move on with his life and be free from his heart. I know he carries a lot of ifs.
“Yea, look, will see you after work.” He kisses my cheeks before heading out. I am left to think deeper than this. At least if I get to check on the kids occasionally, that will put a little ease in my heart. I haven't seen them in three months, and I am pretty sure Zuri has forgotten about me at some point. I get ready to go meet the kids. I still am afraid of driving, and I do not see myself driving to any mall anytime soon. What happened there left a scar in me that will not heal anytime soon. I may act and lie that I am strong but in an actual fact I may still drowning in anxiety.
I park my car outside his gate. It still looks the suddenly the difference is the yard, it’s not as clean as it used to be. I rang the intercom, no answer. I ring again – still no answer. I remember still having the remote to this gate. I open the gate and drive through and park my car in the driveway. I step out of my car and suddenly the pit of my stomach is not at all okay. I can hear some cries from the inside. I open the door without knocking. I find Zuri covered in pop and Fihliwe wailing her lungs out. I look at the house hoping to find or see someone, but no one is here. The black patches under Zuri’s eyes break my heart.
“Halo!” I shouted. I remember Simphiwe having house help. Who am I deluding? The house is vacuous! I squat Infront of Zuri and she shy's away looking at another direction. I take a few snaps of them and send the pictures to Jele. My mind is blank right now and I don't know what to mix what with what. He replies shortly. Now I will have to bathe them and confirm if there is any food that is left in this house. All cardboards are empty. What the hell has been going on here? I am so lost and confused. I told Jele to bring the baby food when he gets home. What will I be feeding them at the moment? - I also don’t have any idea.
I will need to call the cleaning company to deal with this mess. I cannot do anything around this house as I do not longer have access to it. But one thing I will take is his bank card. Hope it will not be notified as fraud. I tried washing that awful smell off the kids and still the smell of shit is just still there! I groan in frustration. It is her hair! I guess I will need to shave all of her hair off.
Driving back home I find Jele already waiting for me. Today is a different story. He is fussing over the kids, but his mood is sour. I can't read much into it. I feel my heart drumming. I have started again bringing trouble from the outside world into our relationship. I smile with an awkwardness one.
“What happened?” he asks, shifting his focus to me. I take a deep breath closing the door. At least he still has the guts to look at me.
“I don’t know, seems like the kids were left alone unattended.” I reply.
“Don't they have a nanny?” I am also confused.
“They do.”
“Must be that she decided to stop working because she wasn't getting any pay. But why would she leave the kids all alone unattended? If that is the case, then she is totally wrong. She did this for her own benefit and not even once did she think about the kids. Now my question is, for how long were these kids left alone?” He is asking a question I don’t have answers to. I feel my eyes burning with tears. I don’t know why but I just feel like...
“Hei, the kids will be okay.” He gives me a side and assures me that everything will be okay. I decided to feed them and guess what the kids were hungry as hell. Zuri is not much of an eater but today, I saw something I've never seen in her. Loneliness.
“We need to take them to the doctor to confirm if there is nothing wrong with them.” Jele suggests and I assent with him. He decided to cut her head bald – we had no other option. It felt like it was still smeared all over her hair. The smell has toned down, better. She is even afraid to move or touch anything. She just doesn’t have that energy that I know. It's like she is living in her own world.
“Let's go.” I pick Zuri up and Jele takes Fihliwe. The drive is filled with thick silence. Something in me tells me that there is defiantly something wrong with Jele, but he decides to shut me out. Hope it's not what my mind is telling me. We arrived at the doctors; he had already made an appointment earlier on. Necessary tests were done on both of the kids.
“The kids are good, but they need more iron.” the doctor tells us. That is a bit of relief, at the back of my head I had all these kinds of scenarios. I sigh in relief, and I see Jele smiling too. Now the question is where to from here? The house cannot be occupied by Shandu kids whereas we have been long divorced.
“That’s good to hear Doc. Hope they will keep it that way.” Jele grins looking at the tired Zuri. Fihliwe is fast asleep in my arms. At least iron can be restored. Just making sure that they eat healthy and what not, I believe.
“But if they are having any issues, let me know.” The doctor tells us. I am happy that they are okay and will be okay. Just need to keep a close eye on them. Nothing medication cannot fix.
Jele has gone back to work and has left me with these two. I smile imagining me and my cubs in the future. I sigh when my mind drifts back to Simphiwe. What if he has a memory loss since he was hammered at the back of his head? I also heard that he gave the patient wrong medication resulting to the poor woman being admitted and unfortunately, she passed on. I feel my stomach getting cold as ever. Simphiwe can't go to jail and leave me with his kids. That is why I am praying for his better life, better memory. For him to fight, hold on. His kids still need him. They are still young.
“Do you want water?” I asked Zuri who just looked at me without saying a word. I miss my baby, my crazy child that never mattered about anything other than her screaming and running around like she is the only one in this planet. I caress on my now bloated stomach. I can't believe that in a few days' time I will be going on in five months. My baby is so healthy that whenever I think about her, I get so emotional. I dream about my vigina being stretched, stitched and the sleepless nights. I don’t know whether it’s the anxiety of me being a mother or probably I am not ready to be one. I dot regret being pregnant I am just afraid of holding my child in the first sight after giving birth. I smile emotionally not believing that God somehow answered my prayers. To me, it doesn't matter who nutted in me but the most matter able moment is the one that I get to experience to be a mother. Carrying a soul, a whole human being with bones in my stomach!
