SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND
CHAPTER 54
BAGQIBILE
I can proudly say we are in a relationship with Thabo. The constant chatting. Those randoms phone calls just to ask how my day has been going. It's been months and I am loving each and every inch of the attention. I turned down Simphiwe’s offer. Not because I am bitter. No. I have learnt to accept, to move on and get to fully understand that he never really loved me. It was just me looking for love in the wrong places. I am now free from the obsession I had towards him. I am so proud of myself; I don’t even dream about him any longer. We are just co-operating peacefully like two grown adults.
“Bagqibile. We need to talk.” Doctor bae says sitting down. I am eating my lunch peacefully that my man brought over. I place the fork aside and give him my attention.
“Yes Doc.” I respond. I am keeping it strictly professional. I am so done and tied with people walking over me like I'm some kind of door mat.
He clears his throat. “Look, I would like to apologize for the way I have treated you in the past after our date. I shouldn’t have done what I did and for that I humbly request for another date with you.”
“What happened to Mandisa?” I ask. I am so uninterested. Not that I have wings, but I am so done with people who do not give shit about me.
“We broke up.”
“Breaking up with her after getting her pregnant?” I am so shocked. They were all love birds in the clinic having sex left right and center. I shake my head not believing. Men will shame and embarrass you. Saliva fills my mouth and damn I so want to spit it out so bad. A sudden double smell occurs in the air, and everything becomes fuzzy.
“Are you okay?” He asks sounding worried. I take a deep breath. Maybe I have eaten too much salad. I close the takeaway and push it aside.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
"Are you sure?”
“Yes!” I snap. “Sorry, maybe I have eaten too much.” I respond. “My time is up. I should go back to work.” I say standing up.
“And the date. Please, just a second chance would make us both happy.” He pleads.
“I don’t think that will a very good idea. My boyfriend will not like that.” I leave him still seated. I hate men who use women for their selfish desires. I Learnt from the best and I now play far away from them. Men to be precise. I walked back to my workstation. The up and down people suddenly annoy me honestly. This buzzing and slow motions are just getting on my nerves. That saliva again! I grabbed the toilet paper that was on top of the table and spit on it. I was fine all along. I don’t know what is happening to me. I sit down trying to catch my breath. Honestly, I am not feeling well. I need to sleep and relax. I take my phone out and text Thabo. He agreed to come fetch me. Maybe I have overworked myself. Or maybe it's those bloody prawns I ate some days back. Maybe I am allergic and it's only now that it's reacting. After two hours of waiting Thabo sent me a text telling me that he was outside. I wasted no time and packed my belongings and marched to the gate. I find him parked outside already waiting for me. I would normally run to his arms for that sweet embrace but today I am just tired. He steps out of the car and smiles opening his arms as usual. His smile vanishes and it's being replaced with confusion on his face. I sigh! I really don’t know what is happening to me.
“Ukahle?” Trust a Zulu man to ask you everything in a one word. My emotions are just jumping from one place to another. I don’t know what to put with what.
“I don’t know. I am just tired. Angry at the world. At everything that is living!”
I hate how he is looking at me with his eyebrows snapped like he is looking at a stupid person.
“Am I included in the list?” he asks with a silly grin on his face. It's just pointless telling him how I feel cause everything to him is just a joke and it really upsets me.
“Let me take you home.” The best thing that makes sense ever since he came here. I waste no time and get my ass in the car. The car has a foul smell. I sniff around.
“Was someone in here?” I ask.
“No, I took my car to the car wash then came here. I haven’t been into the office.” He responds. I didn’t ask him though – about the office.
“Want to grab anything before I take you to your place?” I shake my head no. “I don’t think it’s the best idea for you to be alone. I am not hundred percent sure that you will pull throughout the night. How about if I take you to my place. It will be just only me and you. No kids.” He suggests. I don’t want to be that woman that is feared by his kids. Every time I come to visit the kids will be shipped into his parents' house. I don't think that will be a good idea and it will set a good image for me.
“No. Let the kids be.” I say.
“Are you sure?” He asks.
“Yes. You can't chase the kids out every time I come over. They are bound to know me at some point.” Hope I didn't cross the line. I haven't been fully introduced to the kids. Last time I was just an aunt. But I am hoping for more than that. He parks his car outside the house. He steps out first and tells me to stay put. I watch him as he goes straight to the house - I feel like I am being treated like a side chick. He shouldn’t have come for me if he knew he was not ready to move on from his late wife. I think he is holding back and that makes me have second thoughts about us. He comes back and opens the door for me.
“Is it now safe to go in?”
“Yea, was just checking up on the kids.”
“In other words, you are hiding me from them?” I ask with a hint of hurt I am feeling.
“What! No babe.” He suddenly looks anxious. I stepped out of the car and suddenly I became dizzy. I fell back on the seat and held my head. Everything is just spinning.
“Are you okay?” The panic in his voice.
“I just want to sleep. Must I use the back door?” I ask after collection myself. He looks hurt by my words, but I don't care. He should put himself in his shoes. I don’t want to lie, he is a very good boyfriend and a good father, but he fails to combine both. He has met up with Sizile countless times and not even once have I ever made him feel less. I think from now onwards when he comes by, Sizi will not have to be around. As I promised myself. I lead myself to the back door and he is shamefully following me behind. I walk up to his bedroom and close the door making sure to lock it. Guess I will be stuck in here for the whole weekend without stepping out of this bedroom. I feel like I am in prison when I visit him. I strip naked and throw myself on the bed. I don’t want to see him.
