SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND
CHAPTER 55
NOZIMANGA
The constant headaches I have been having. The blurry visions have been a come and go. I will get dizzy out of nowhere. I have noticed that when I think about moments, I tend to remember other sad events from my life - the past. I don’t know how this is possible whereas I have memory loss. I lay on my left side with constant headaches pounding.
“Still having headaches?” Simphiwe asks sitting next to me.”
“Yea.” I can't even talk for that matter. If I try talking it hammers the shit out of me.
“That’s it. I am takin you to the hospital.” He scoops me up in a bridal style and runs with me down the steps. I can now walk fully on my own without support, but my weight is still on strike. He makes me sit in the front seat and puts the safety belt on. He runs to the other side of the car and hops in.
“Let me know if I am driving too fast.” He says reversing the car. Lately he has been handling me with so much care and that scares me at times. I can see the tress, but everything is just blurry. I take a dep breath. He holds my hand and squeezes it a bit. I smile. I want to cry on his shoulder and put all my heaviness on him.
“I am here for you, my love.” He assures me, making a few tears fall. He chucks and looks ahead with a broad smile on his face. “If I knew better, I would say you are pregnant.” He says making my heart skip a bit. I can't be pregnant when my kids are this young. Yes, we have been fucking like rabbits, but I cannot fall pregnant.
“I’m not pregnant.” I snatch my hand away from him. He laughs. He has no idea what he is talking about. He parks outside the hospital and tells me to stay put. He rushes inside the hospital and comes back with a nurse wheeling a wheelchair. I can see through the fuzziness. This man cannot do this to me. I hate this thing more than anything! He opens the door and tells me to step out. See what I mean. He has been holding me like a glass that will break. He helps me sit.
“Ugrand?” He asks brushing my back. I feel like I could vomit. The atmosphere is just... I gag. “Baby. What’s wrong?” He helps me bend over and helps me spew everything out. I don’t know what happens next but everything in me shuts down.
____
I wake with a heavy head. I don’t remember how I got here. I look to the side, and I can see Simphiwe sleeping on a tiny couch. I frown. How did I get here? I touch my stomach...
“Simphiwe!” I shout. He wakes up and comes stand Infront of me. Where is Jele?
“Where is Mlando?” He swallows hard and looks on the side. His chest rises and down. “Where is Mlando? Where is my baby?” I ask. He tries taking my hand, but I retrench it from his. Has he finally managed to kill my baby?
“Babe.”
“Do not babe me Simphiwe yezwa! I want my baby! Where is Mlando?” I ask.
“Can you see me? I mean can you remember everything?”
“Such a stupid question you ask. OfCourse, I remember God dammit!” My head pounds.
“Take it easy. I will call the doctor for you.” He runs out leaving me confused. Where the hell is Mlando? Later Simphiwe comes back with the doctor following him behind.
“Mrs. Shandu, you are awake.” The doctor says, looking at me with a huge smile on his face. I decided to keep quiet. I am beyond angry. “Do you remember anything?” He asks. Why does everyone keep asking me if I remember anything? Of course, I remember! I am being told to roll my eyes and open my mouth. He checks deep into the throat and smiles.
“You have regained your memory mam. And another thing, the tests have been done and you are one week pregnant.” He speaks. “Congratulations.” He further adds. I am taken back - I am one week pregnant. I can be pregnant. I refuse to believe that.
“I am, I mean.” I look at Simphiwe and he looks on the ground. His face turns to look at the doctor.
“Can I have a word with my wife. Please.” The doctor leaves without saying a word. He sits on the bed next to me and holds my hands. “What I am going to tell you right now is the same reason for your memory loss...”
I listened, cried and been heartbroken again! I remember how Jele was sick. Everything is now clear. I can’t breathe. How did my life get here? I ask myself a dozen questions, but I have no answer to anything. My head is laid to his chest crying my balls out.
“I am so sorry Nozi.” He says and holds me tighter.
“I want to see his grave.”
“He requested to be cremated, but we do have his ashes in the guest room.” I don’t believe this. So, he decided to be selfish! He left me and he left no memory of him. What will I do with his stupid ashes!
“And again, you made me pregnant.” Honestly, I don’t know whether to be mad or happy at the same time. And the fact that there might be a possibility of us having a child together scares me. Not in a bad way but in a way that I cannot explain. The sobs escaping my mouth...
“I'm sorry babe.”
“I don’t even know what to say. I have a kids with a man who decided to leave me. I am yet pregnant again with your child. It was never my dream to have a choice assorted kids. I...”
“Never ever say with this mouth of yours that our kids are of different fathers. Jele asked me to be a man and step up. And that is what I am exactly doing. Correcting my wrongs.” He tells me. I look to the side and take a deep breath.
“I want my father.” I know he would do nothing much for me but being in front of his eyes will take this pain away.
“Okay, you are not in a good state to travel. We will bring him over.”
“I want him now.” I hear him sigh. He kisses my forehead and tells me that he will be back. He leaves and comes back with the doctor. I am being discharged – Simphiwe wants me to be home. Again, he is wheeling the wheelchair out of the hospital.
“Want me to pick you up?” He asks already picking me up. I love how he is so gentle towards me but my heart is broken into a million pieces.
