SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND
CHAPTER 50
SIMPHIWE
Telling Nozi everything bit by bit haunts me. The pain is evident in her eyes. But her emotions stay numb, which is not a good thing for the both of us. I wish I could take it away, erase the past – but unfortunately, I can't. Bagqibile calling that late put a lot of stir yesterday. I had to put her on the loudspeaker. I have no secrets now. Everything is out of the open. Ever since Nozi told me that we have to take a break, I have been really stressed out. I hardly eat, I have constant headaches. I'm unable to sleep as much as required. I just spend a lot of time with the kids just to pass time. I just stare at the television looking at the pictures while I am lost in deep thoughts.
Seeing her makes me feel all mixed emotions. Emotions I cannot explain. I am trying to be the other husband that I was in the past. I'm trying to be the other half that she has been longing for, but it seems like I am trying to fix things with the other Nozi and not the Nozi my wife. I am not complaining, but I just wish my wife would just go back to her old self again. What if she never recovers? Most people don’t. The thought of being alone scares me a lot.
“Do you need anything?” I ask her. She has been trying so hard to get back on her feet, but she is still struggling. That alone is the cause of her wanting to think things through. What if she gets to remember everything? Will I cope with the questions?
“Just water.” She responds. I got up from the couch and got her a glass of water. She gulps it down and places the glass on the table. She keeps stealing glances at me.
“What is it?” I finally ask. She takes a deep breath and I just know that whatever she is about to say or ask is not good at all. I will have to man up and swallow whatever stone is being cast my way.
“I heard you complaining about money.”
I look down in shame. The money that I have is not even close to R10K. I don’t even think it will sustain us for the next two months. With the kids and everything. I clear my throat. “I have less than ten thousand in the bank Nozi. I can't touch what your... Mlando left without your approval. And I can’t live off another man's earning.” I say. It's not pride but I just can’t bring myself into using the money. It’s a huge amount of money. I decided to rent his house in town. It's big enough for a family. Nozi agreed but we haven’t started as of yet. Still waiting for us, our marriage to settle first.
“Where is my money?” She asks. I smile because I know where all of this is going.
“I am the man here. Keep your money for yourself woman. I don’t need it.”
“I shall remind you in a later stage.” She keeps quiet for a while. “What if one of the twins is yours? I mean this one has all your features, and it scares me. This one looks the man you showed me in the picture. I can’t believe I cheated.” She chucks.
“No, you didn’t cheat. You chose to move on, and I will never hold that against you. If one of them is mine than I thank God for it. We will raise our kids normally. The issue will be when they grow up. They will start questioning why they are not the same.”
“We will tell him the truth.”
“It is not as simple as it seems Nozi. The hurt and the trauma. He will never recover. And he will always ask himself if he belongs here or what. Then start digging up on the past. What if he gets to retrieve information he is not meant to get hold of? I don’t want that. They are both my sons. Whatever the DNA says – they are forever my twins. That’s all that matters.”
“Wow, I didn't think of it that way.” She sighs deeply. “Guess we will die with the secret.”
“We?” I tease.
“Yes, me and your big head.” This girl is very rude.
“It’s very funny how you love this big head. You love brushing it whenever I am inside of you.” I wiggle my eyebrows and she laughs.
“Can you just stop. I haven't healed. My stiches hurt.” She says and suppresses her laugh. I look at her face and smile. I just wish we could go back to our old life and old people. But in time we will get there. There is no rush right. We still have a lot of years ahead of us.
“I will check on the kids.” I stand up and I leave her seated on the couch. We were watching some soccer – not that we were watching it but it's more like soccer watching us. I open the bedroom door. I left Zuri in her room I don’t know what she’s doing here.
“You are going to wake the kids up.” I whisper and pick her up. I check on both kids and they are fine. I step out of the bedroom and head back to the sitting room ear. Nozi is now half asleep.
“Would you like me to put you to bed?” I ask. She opens her eyes. It must be the medication she's on.
“Please.”
I put Zuri on the couch and helped her stand.
“Will you be able to walk, or will you need a wheelchair?” I ask.
She scoffs. “They don’t call me die hard for nothing. I will walk. With you being my bodyguard.” That is what she always says when she wants to use me as a walking stick. I wrap my arm around her waist. It will take time for her body to recover.
“I feel like I am walking in needles.” She complains. She is groaning in pain.
“Surves you right for calling a bodyguard.” I shot back. She smiles a bit but the smile dissolves and has been replaced with her lips cracked into a thins line.
“Thunder strikes your way.” She has a nerve. God knows I will drop her right this minute. I carefully placed her on the bed and put a blanket over her body.
“Call me if you need anything.” I say. I always kiss her and don’t get any in return. I do not care. I kiss her mouth unexpectedly. I don’t wait for her to say anything - I walk out of the room and slightly close the door. Zuri will walk in any minute. She is all good if she sleeps next to her mother. And indeed, here she is with her feeding cup making her way to the bedroom. She walks past me like she doesn’t notice me and closes the door shut. I was expecting that.
I throw myself back on the couch and flip through the channels. Zanele the nanny is still around, and she will leave later. I don’t want to lie she is a true sent from above. I am just happy that they get along just fine with Nozi. I stay out of her way as far as I can. I am avoiding any troubles that come with.
“Sir, I will be on my way out.” I look at the watch and indeed it's almost five. “You know the drill. The food...”
I cut her short. “We will dish up for ourselves.” I make her laugh. “Thank Zanele. I really appreciate you being around.”
“Thank you, sir. I beg to take me leave now.” I need to talk to Nozi about this girl's dress code. I am a man; I can’t tell her how to wear in my house. I think Nozi will have a better way of addressing the matter. I look at my watch – Thabo should be here any minute. Bagqibile has been the pain in butt honestly. I just regret everything about her.
