carpe noctem// rick and morty

the end before the beginning

???"s pov

"all~right my dudes, this is it. i can feel it, i will be successful today!"  

??? types on their phone, their face but a shadow in the dark of the room, the only source of light being that of the dimmed mobile screen, allowing for the outline of the persons' fingers as they drag them across the screen in fast succession as words are being formed on the screen once more.

"i hope the outcome of tonight is positive, it'd be a shame to fail again after two years lol."

"i will keep you updated! wish me luck~~"

the person sighs ( a frequent occurrence lately) as they await a response. the room is subject to an almost eerie silence until the person shifts on the bed, giving up after a few minutes. as they are about to exit the app, a bubble appears on the bottom left of the screen. albeit belatedly, the person lets a small gasp at this. silence engulfs the room once more as a new set of words appear on the screen.

maax.ime33: "bro how long are you going to cling onto this chat room? its been long dead. gl tho, you must be very determined to get this done even after two years..."   

???'s expression blends with the darkness as the phone is turned off and placed on the nightstand, the person shifting on their bed once more before settling, at last, letting their mind drift away.

when had this stopped being a part of their routine? at what point did the others stop caring? they had promised to stay, yet only the ghost of their relationship remained in the form of old messages. ??? hoped they would cheer them on just as they once had, maybe that would help. 

discouraged and melancholic, they drifted off to a place between conscious and unconscious, where dreams could materialise and reality could become obsolete. they had worked on making that space theirs for the last two years, being able to manifest their consciousness there for as long as they'd like had proven very time-consuming by itself, but it had only been the first step.

taking the reigns and really bending this void to their will had been a tiresome and almost-unfruitful voyage had they chosen to give up just a bit earlier. but ??? was actually able to say they'd broken free from "reality" now, past human restraints and past whatever stage all their previous "travel-buddies" had gotten to. 

in case there are any curious souls amongst the ones observing this eccentric journey, yes, this is indeed about multi-reality shifting (quantum jumping if you will).

??? had always been one for questioning reality. why had there been such a thick line drawn between fiction and non-fiction? the adults had been adamant about such a barrier existing but were yearning for "proof" that would wreck it all the same. 

titles containing keywords such as "metaphysical" or "paranormal" were frequent and always attracted attention. if it doesn't exist, then why give room to the possibility, yknow? in any case, ??? had continued to doubt such concepts up until their own dive into the metaphysical. 

that is when they discovered quantum physics (two words that hardly went together, lest we consider the adults' view on such concepts) and along with that quantum jumping, or more commonly known as reality shifting. in any case, they wanted to try, purely just another gimmick they'd dabble in search of definite truths about what "is" and "isn't", no doubt. 

however they spent far more time researching this term, and the more they searched, the more they voluntarily drowned themselves without realising it. it wasn't their fault though, the concept just by itself was incredible enough, but just the sheer amounts of "what ifs" that arose from such a thing being possible. 

soon enough they'd be trying each night, attempting to tame their own mind, separating awareness from the body and setting clear coordinates. time passed fast, and their passion was dimming as success was not coming no matter how hard the effort. at first, it was disappointing (??? despised having to put in too much effort), then challenging as it made them aware of their own shortcomings, then thrilling, then disappointing again. 

 in the end, they only tried rarely, but looking at how things turned out, even such infrequent effort was worth it. they had now decided on a destination, the easiest place to start from they'd guess, just because of how much information there was on the multiverse (not to mention that it happened to be associated with a comfort show of theirs)

and that's how ???s life came to an end as to how they knew it to be, allowing for a new one to begin.