If Erudite never strikes-(alternative divergent ending)

chapter 11

just looking at the fear landscape room makes me cringe, it brings me back to the time I spent in here, I can never forget the crows scratching and pecking at my skin or being engulfed by water so I couldn't breathe. but it also holds memories of when Tobias took me through his fear landscape and gave me that part of him, that part o his past along with his trust, I remember how later that night he kissed me by the chasm. so I guess the fear landscapes wont be as bad as I thought.

"today" I say to the initiates "you will be facing fears in your fear landscape, the serum that we will inject you with is going to put you into a hallucination  where your body faces its worst fears and hopefully conquer them"

"but the goal" Tobias continues "isn't to become fearless, it to learn to control your fears, so try to maintain a natural breathing rate and pulse and the simulation will move you onto a new obstacle" the initiates say nothing and just nod, Rachel and Emy have gone quite pale. Tobias sets up the computers and the initiates sit down. Rachel snuggles into Killian how hugs her tight, even Killian must be afraid; well they are his worst  fears he will be facing.

"Killian" Tobias announces, the Sims go in order of rank so Killian will be first. He gets up receiving grave looks from his peers, Rachel looks like she is going to be sick, Emy and Harry are probably going to pass out and the rest stare at points on the floor, not making eye contact with anyone.

Killian cautiously enters the room and sits down. tobias gets out the needle

"what the hell dude" Killian flinches away "that's freaking massive"

"wimp" tobias says "now hold still or be factionless" killian closes his eyes and tobias injects the serum into his neck, he goes under.

killians fear landscape is of a place ive never seen before, its not chicargo, it looks like a place I once saw in a textbook at school when we learnt about what the world looked like before the war. killian looks puzzled and turns his head to the right, there is a sign it reads:

Welcome to Boston

I know that's a place out side of Chicago, but I don't know where. killian starts to walk forward. after a few minutes we all seem to notice that there are no people to be seen. we hear a scream. killian runs to an abandoned sky scraper through the door it is just a plain white room. in the corner is a little girl. she looks a lot like Killian, probably a sister.

"Adrienne" killian breathes

"killie" the little girl cries "something's wrong"

"Adie what's wrong" killian's eyes well up with tears

"killie something's wrong" the girl repeats

"Adrienne?" killian is crying now don't go again

"killian something's wrong" the girls voice, I have noticed, has no emotion- just a flat tone, killians breathing gets heavy and he weeps into his hands

"killian something's wrong" the girl turns white, something is wrong, she starts to thin and fall

"no, not again" killian says into his hands "please stay longer" the girl slowly disappears. killian falls to his knees and screams into the ground, pounding his fists onto the tiles. "NO" He screams over and over again. the simulation ends and killian is on the floor crying and screaming "no" through clenched teeth.

"killian" I say and walk to his side "killian" I say again he looks up, his face is blotchy and his eyes are red and still watering.

"killian, its okay, it wasn't real" I say rubbing his shoulder "who was that?" I ask "talking about it helps" killian stiffens up and takes a deep breath in.

"that was my sister" he says "Adrienne... she was 12 when she got cancer and I was 9, I remember when she first got it and was crying in her room and I went in to see her because I didn't know what was happening, my parents said she was just sick and she would be fine" he sniffs again and sobs into his hands for a second. "she told me something was wrong and she was going to go away soon, I didn't understand at the time she meant she was going to die and that's all she said. over the months that followed she got skinnier and paler until she did what she told me she was going to do: go away. my parents never let me say goodbye to her, all I've ever wanted was to go and hold her and tell her i'll miss her" he brings his knees up to his chest and tries to compose himself, god if I hade lost Caleb I would be heart broken. I cant imagine what he's went through. killian gets up

"Killian" tobias says

"what" Killian snaps

"go back to the dorms, get some rest and have some alone time okay?"

"okay" Killian sighs and walks out. I follow and call out the next initiate:

"Rachel"...