Saving the Blacks

Chapter 26

Carina

I lay on the bed as Lucretia runs the scan. My body is numb as the parchment appears. She reads over it, and I know before she even looks at me.

"You are healing well but I am so sorry, it seems that the scarring, while improved, isn't where it should be for a safe pregnancy. We can continue to try to repair it, but I don't want to give you false hope." She says and I close my eyes to prevent the tears. How was I going to tell Rabastan that I would never have a child.

"I don't want anyone to know. We have the cave tomorrow and I can't focus on this right now. I don't want to keep trying to heal something that clearly will never go away." I say ignoring the way my voice cracks.

"Carina are you sure it is wise to go to the cave? Take a few days to digest the information and go over all the options." She suggests but I shake my head.

"No, my issues mean nothing with the threat still over our head. I should have expected it wouldn't heal." I say wiping my eyes. I need to find the numb of war. The pain would fade just like everything else. I ignore the piercing pain in my heart and blank my face.

"This isn't healthy." She tries to insist.

"I am a soldier first, at the end of the day that is what I am good at. I will get over it. Now I need to meet with lord Black over our plans." I say standing. What is one more thing war took from me.

~

We arrive as close to the cave as we can. My magic reacts to the powerful magic surrounding the entrance and I prepare myself for what we are about to do. The numbness hasn't faded, and I don't know why I ever left this state. I am still able to put on a smile and make everyone believe I am fine. We walk through the entrance, and I slice my palm without a word.

"What are you doing?" Lord Black asks wide eyed.

"This is the only way to get in." I shrug as I place my palm on the stone. The wall opens up as I wrap my hand. He looks to want to say something, but I just walk into the cave. Now was not the time for a heart to heart. My body is on autopilot as I pull up the boat. "Don't touch the water." I warn as I step in.

The silence crossing the lake is oddly comforting. A voice inside me screams I am not in the right headspace to be doing this, but I push it aside. We are already here, no point in turning around.

Arcturus

We make it to the other side, and I keep a close eye on her. I hate to admit that I have no idea how to help her. I had been concerned when Lucretia said she had refused for anyone to hear her report, but she had seemed fine. I didn't want to believe I had missed the signs something was wrong but as she enlarges the worm we planned to use to drink the potion, I have a bad feeling I have. I had friends that were in the thick of the war with Grindelwald and remember them growing quiet for no apparent reason. I hate feeling like I am failing a member of my family.

Once the potion is gone, I grab the locket before she can touch it. The last thing I need right now is that type of magic coursing through her. The switch doesn't take long, and we replace the potion before leaving. The moment we are outside the wards I call for an elf to take the locket to a different house than the diary. We didn't know what would happen if we kept them close together and I really didn't want to find out.

As we arrive back at the manor, I motion for her to follow me to the study.

"I need to know how you are doing."

"I'm fine, happy to have one more down." She says and I watch her closely. While her smile and posture show she is fine, her eyes seem cold.

"I want you to take some time off from thinking of the war. We have made great progress and you deserve it."

"We have the ball coming up and after Yule I'm heading back to Hogwarts. The more I can do now the better position we will be in. I want to get the diadem at the end of the year and then we still need to get the ring and cup."

"We have time. While it will be nice to have control over all of them it isn't a rush." I attempt to assure. I wasn't good at this. I am used to giving an order and it being followed but this is different. I truly believe if I try to force her to slow down, she will begin doing this alone. She looks at me for a moment before nodding but I don't feel reassured. I would need to get with lord Winters to see what he thought of this. Maybe he would be able to feel something through the family magic.

Carina

Once I leave the Black manor, I head to Diagon Alley. I need to get control over myself before I head home. I need to do better. I can't risk them cutting me out of this out of some need to protect me. That was my job, not theirs.

As I walk around my mind flashes between the now and my past. Buildings going from standing to crumbled in the blink of an eye. I attempt to shake it away, but nothing helps. I don't realize where I am going until suddenly the sounds of the busy street fades. It hits me I am in Knockturn Alley. Surprisingly the dark presence helps calm my mind. Even through the war, Knockturn didn't change much. Instinctually I know I shouldn't be here, but I can't face the memories. How messed up is it that my mind is craving the darkness? I shouldn't feel safe here, but I can't help hoping the feeling doesn't fade. I spot a small pub and against my better judgement I walk inside. Taking a seat at the table the bar maid doesn't say anything as she brings over a glass filled with no doubt alcohol. I have never liked drinking, hating the loss of control but one wouldn't hurt.

Rabastan

I get called to Black manor and arrive to see lord Black and lord Winters waiting on me. When I notice Carina isn't here my panic rises.

"Where is Carina?" I ask not wanting to jump to conclusions but something in me screams I need to find her.

"Have you noticed anything different about Carina?" Lord Black asks.

"Not really, we haven't had a chance to talk to her since before she got her results, but she seemed fine last time I saw her. Why?"

"How is the bond progressing?" Lord Winters asks, and I tense.

"It isn't complete if that is what you are asking. If you have a concern about her, I have a right to know." I say looking between them.

"We are just concerned things are getting to her and we wanted to know if you had any concerns." Lord Black tries to assure but I have a bad feeling I'm not being told everything.

"What did Lucretia say about her results?"

"Due to Carina technically being her patient she is magically bound from saying anything unless Carina allows her to."

"Can't I get that information?"

"Not unless the bond is complete." Lord Winters says, and I am over this.

"So where is she?" I ask again a little more forceful.

"We aren't sure. Orion and Cygnus are out looking for her." Lord Black informs me, and I jump out of my seat.

"She is missing, and you are just now telling me!" I shout and turn to leave. I have to find her. They should have told me the moment they noticed she was gone. I head to my home and ignore my father as I go looking for Rodolphus. I find him in his room, and he jumps up the moment he sees me.

"Carina is missing, and I need your help." I say clenching my fists to hide the tremors. She could be hurt and because the bond isn't complete, I would never know.

"Let's go." Rodolphus says not asking anymore questions.