*******HUGE TRIGGER WARNING******
IF YOU'RE DEALING WITH SELF HARM OR DEPRESSION, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER. JUST KNOW I'M HERE IF ANY OF YOU NEED A TALK, I LOVE YOU ALL
Soon I saw car pulling over.
- Ellie! - Tony yelled from the car and got out of it
I got up and took my bag. When he got closer, I jumped in his hug. I cried a little, but I was trying to hide it.
- Let's go. - he grabs my hand
- You need to excuse me from school.
- I'm going to phone your principal, let's go now. - he smiles
I hate this day. I was in school for a short time and bunch of shits happened. Guess I was able to fuck things up in only few moments. I slowly sat in the car and looked outside. I was staring outside the whole time and thinking about something. My thoughts flew away after Tony stopped the car.
- Kellin is probably coming here today. - Tony says
I nod my head and get out. I quickly and queitly open the doors and run upstairs. I lock the doors and threw my bag in the corner of the room. Tears quickly rolled down my cheeks. I tried to calm myself, I tried not to cry, but fuck, it was really hard to.
You're such a fauilure.
I'm not, shut up.
They all hate you, better end your life so they have less problems. Guys had to move because of you.
I don't want to end it.
END IT. No one likes you, you have no friends. How long can you last here? Huh?
I guess you're right.
After quick talk with myself in my mind, I get up and open my bag.
- Ellie? - Vic yells, I hear him running upstairs
- Fuck, fuck. - I quickly wipe my tears and take a deep breath.
I open the doors.
- Kellin's here. Wanna meet him?
- Vic, I'm sorry... I feel really upset now and need to calm down. - I say quietly
- I understand. He's coming tomorrow so you can meet him. - he smiles and leaves
I lock the doors and grab my bag. I opened my pencil case and take out pencil sharpener.
- Hi, old friend. - I smile
Yeah, I was getting bad again. But this time, this time I was ready to end it all. My life was huge piece of shit, I actually had no reasons to live for. I wanted to make a plan, the plan about ending this. Slitting my wrists will be painful and take some time, but I had no choice. My arms were shaking while I was holding shiny piece of metal in my hands. I put it on my vein and take a deep breath.
- Do it. - I whisper to myself
Some tears fell on my arm, but I didn't mind it. Blade crossed over my skin leaving red mark. After that happened, I remembered the easier method of doing it. It was harder, of course. You know when parents were telling us that walking near bridge was dangerous? Well, I decided to do it. First I needed to find it because I was never in this city before. I searched something on the internet.
- Here you are. - I whisper after finding the nearest bridge. I found some tissues and wrapped my wrist. I wanted to write suicide letter, but I was bad at writing down my emotions. I took my shoes and quietly got downstairs. I was hoping no one will hear me, but Jaime opened the kitchen doors while I was trying to get outside.
