my 'the summer i turned pretty'

advice and wasted love

october 2022.

my school was having it's yearly saidee hawkins dance and there was nothing i wanted more than to ask jeremiah fisher to be my date. i wanted it so badly that i decided to ask conrad's girlfriend to help.

it was strange to say the least but it was my best shot at getting advice without having to ask his mom. i knew that if i asked susannah she would get so excited that she'd make him go with me whether he wanted to or not. and that's exactly what i wanted to avoid. i wanted jeremiah to choose to come with me, not feel like he was obliged to go take me. so i had to go to the second best person, nicole.

i could never think of a conversation i'd had with her, let alone if i'd ever willingly started a conversation with her, but there's a first for everything right? i decided to dm her and tell her my situation. she responded quickly and even swore secrecy that she wouldn't let any fisher know before i actually asked jeremiah. i told her that my main dilemma was that if i asked jeremiah, he'd know that i liked him. she assured me that it wouldn't happen and that the fisher boys are absolutely clueless when it comes to love. she said it took her having to actually confess her feelings first, AND conrad not believing her for them to actually become a couple.

she got me there. i didn't know how to respond. is that all it took? did all my years of liking conrad gone nowhere just because i was too scared to tell him how i really felt about him? does that mean we would've had a chance?

it took me a sec to reply to her, as i was considering telling her i knew how she felt. that i had like erik all these years and he had never caught on. i decided against that and shoved all those overwhelming thought of conrad away and continue with our plan.

it was official. i was going to ask jeremiah to be my date to the saidee's dance.

and i also vowed to myself that i wouldn't waste any more time loving someone without telling them how i truly felt about them, especially jeremiah.

AKDJJ UPDATE: MY MOM IS MAKING ME ASK HIS MOM IF HE CAN GO TO SAIDEES WHAT TF DO I SAY AHHHH