my 'the summer i turned pretty'

fourth of july

july 2022

while i was driving with my dad one day, he filled me in on a conversation he had with jeremiah.

"i'm so glad you guys aren't moving" jere told dad. "is that so? why?" my dad asked. "without you guys, who are we supposed to spend our holidays with-"

after hearing that i started to feel a little bad about the way i thought and acted towards him. i let my own personal feelings take over me i forgot that he was still the little boy i've known my entire life. we are the only family they have here. we've spent almost every holiday for our entire lives together. maybe he was right. maybe i should just put my feelings for him aside and let things go to the way they were before. when he was just the boy i fought with over who's older, the boy whose room i could just walk into without the need to knock. the boy i could text anything to at any hour. the boy i didn't have to be shy or afraid around.....

the boy who was my best friend.

besides, conrad was on a humanitarian trip in fiji this summer.

i would have the whole day to fix my friendship with jeremiah, just the two of us.

the day off:

i started my day off with my fav taylor swift playlist to get my hyped up and in the mood. i kept telling myself that to stay confident and that's they only way i could fix this.

when we got there, he wasn't down stairs to greet us, which is our new normal now. but he came down after a few minutes, so i guess he earns some points for that.

later i started wrapping dumplings with his mom and jeremiah sat infront of me eating a bag of chips. i couldn't reach into the the bag to grab one since my hands were covered with raw meat, so i asked him to grab one for me. so he did. but instead of just giving it to me, he told me to open my mouth and he fed it to me!

there wasn't anything romantic about it, but there was no need. this was a sign that things are getting back to how they were before, and i was glad.

the rest of the night went very well.

at one point during the night we were fighting over a spray bottle. it was one of those misting bottles and he kept spraying it at me for almost an hour, so i tired to take it away from him. but he kept jerking away and it became a game. we were laughing and smiling so much. tackling each other on the ground fighting to get the water bottle. sometimes he would end up stepping on my foot or accidentally hitting me. so he always made sure to ask if i was okay. when he said it the first time i didn't hear him so i asked what he said and he shyly asked if i was okay.

there's the jeremiah that i know and love, always so sweet.

at one point he had me pinned against a wall while i tried to grab the bottle. quickly he brought the bottle into his other hand and i ended grabbing his empty hand. we were almost holding hands and i guess we both realized it at the same time because once i looked up, he was staring at me. he backed away and the game stopped after that.

my ap scores came out the next day, but unusually the anxiety isn't weighing down on me. nothing can bring my mood down.

because for the first time in a while, i leave their house smiling, feeling like i can conquer anything.

friendship status: fixed