I'm not in love

Sick To The Core

It was hours before Wolfie managed to go to sleep. Maybe they couldn't get their mind off of Gwen, or maybe because they were uncomfortable, but Gwen help them sleep through the night. Wolfie didn't know how she did it. She never complained about her sleeping conditions; in fact, if anything, she preferred them over anyone else's. They weren't even doing much talking, just lying on the couch. Occasionally one would let out a soft snore. When Wolfie finally got to sleep, their dreams were full of Gwen.
In those dreams, Gwen and Wolfie were married with two dogs and two cats. They lived together happily in their new house in an amazing neighborhood. The only thing missing was their two kids, which meant that this time around Gwen was going to have twins. And they loved it! They spent their days playing games together, reading stories or making dinner. It wasn't until Wolfie had fallen asleep that they started dreaming of the future. But they were so happy! Everything was perfect.
The next morning, however, when Wolfie woke up, everything felt different. There was no way they could have slept through the night if their dreams had been normal. Instead, they found themselves in bed alone. No Gwen beside them. Their heart sank as they thought of what could be happening right now. Was she sick? Had someone taken her away? Had there been some accident? All these questions raced through their head as they tried desperately to think of where she might have gone. Wolfie looked at the clock, realizing it was already ten o'clock. Maybe Gwen wanted some time to herself. If that was the case, they would respect that. But a moment later, Wolfie heard a noise that sounded like vomiting. As soon as they heard it, they sprung from bed, grabbing some clothes and rushing downstairs. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, they saw Gwen sitting on the floor, coughing and gasping for air.
"Are you okay?!" They asked worriedly. Gwen nodded, but threw up immediately after.
"I'm sorry," she said weakly, once she'd recovered a bit. She leaned against the wall, staring ahead.
"Don't apologize." Wolfie crouched down beside her. "What happened?" They took her hand.
"My stomach hurt last night, but I thought that it was just the flu. Then today I started feeling really dizzy and nauseous ." Gwen sniffled.
"Maybe we should get you to the hospital."
Gwen shook her head. "I'll feel worse if I do." Her voice cracked. Wolfie pulled her into their arms.
"Hey, don't cry. Everything is alright now."
Gwen hugged them tightly. Wolfie was used to her affection, but every time Gwen held them, the feelings inside of them were overwhelming.
Wolfie helped her upstairs, trying not to make her too anxious by being so close to her. When they arrived at her bedroom door, they stopped.
"Do you want me to stay in here?" Gwen nodded.
"That's fine. You can sit on my bed while I change." Wolfie stepped inside and closed the door behind them. After changing their clothes, they sat beside Gwen.
"Can I touch your belly?" Gwen hesitated.
"Of course. Just try to keep it gentle. I'll probably throw up again." Wolfie chuckled.
"I won't do any funny business." Gwen smiled at this, then lay back down.
Wolfie gently stroked their hands across Gwen's stomach, making sure that they were paying attention to whatever Gwen needed. After a few minutes, Gwen started to relax. Wolfie kissed her forehead softly, then laid down beside her. Neither said anything for a long time. Neither cared about the time. Eventually, though, Wolfie felt something wet on their arm.
"Oh no!" They quickly sat upright. "Are you throwing up? Should I call someone?"
"No. Don't worry." Gwen wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, then took a deep breath. "It's okay. I just... felt a little sick."
Wolfie relaxed a bit. At least she hadn't thrown up on top of them.
"How long has this been going on?" Gwen shrugged.
"About three weeks." Wolfie nodded. Three weeks seemed like a long time to be throwing up all the time. A lot had changed since then.
Wolfie looked down at Gwen's abdomen. "Has there been pain?" They asked. Gwen nodded.
"Every couple of hours. Sometimes longer." This was definitely not good news. In addition, now that they knew what was happening, they could easily imagine what might have caused it.
They both stayed silent for a moment. Gwen them threw up once  more. It took her several tries to stop, but eventually, she managed to catch her breath.
"Okay," she exhaled slowly. "Let's do this again." She took another deep breath, then rolled over to look at Wolfie, giving them a small smile. "Sorry. I'm glad you're here."
Wolfie smiled at her. They had hoped she wouldn't have noticed how worried they actually were. She was the only person who ever made their chest tight enough to suffocate.
A few minutes passed as Gwen slowly went through the cycle of nausea. Wolfie kept their eyes fixed on her face to avoid looking anywhere else. Eventually they started to fall asleep, hoping that Gwen would wake them whenever she needed them. They didn't know whether their presence would calm her, but if nothing else, it would give them a sense of security. When Gwen threw up again, Wolfie shot up straight.
"Are you okay?"
Gwen nodded, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Yeah, it's okay. I don't wanna bother you." She smiled reassuringly at them.
"You wouldn't be bothering me at all if you bothered me." Wolfie sighed, relieved that nothing bad had happened to her. "Do you need water?"
Gwen shook her head, still smiling.
"Good. Do you wanna talk?"
"Sure." Gwen scooted closer to Wolfie on the couch, resting her head on their shoulder.
"So..." Wolfie trailed off awkwardly, unsure of how to continue. "I guess I shouldn't ask you this question, but what made you throw up for so long this time?"
Gwen chuckled lightly, pulling away slightly. "This happens every week. Every other day I throw up and then I pass out."
"What?"
She nodded. "When I first came back from Europe. It was a month ago. I've been having it about four times a week."
"Wow. That's a lot."
"It's not that bad, I swear."
"We can get you to a doctor?" Wolfie suggested. Gwen shook her head, scared for some  reason.
"It's fine, I promise," she whispered. "I've dealt with it before."
"Alright, if you say so." Wolfie nodded, not entirely convinced, but willing to leave it at that.
Silence fell between the pair. They watched Gwen for a few moments, trying to figure out what was wrong with her. She was acting a lot different from the way she usually was. Usually she would always start crying the second they mentioned something. However, they realized that she wasn't crying right now. It wasn't like she was sad, either, or angry. She almost looked like she wasn't even there.
"Gwen?" They called out softly. She turned her head towards them, but didn't answer. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She replied, but her voice sounded empty.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?"
"Wolfie..." Gwen looked away. "It's nothing to worry about. Really." Wolfie frowned slightly, trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Suddenly, they remembered what they learned in school.
"Are you feeling sick because your body doesn't have enough food?"
Gwen nodded. "Exactly."
"But you aren't eating any food."
"Not that kind of sick."
"Then what are you sick with?"
"Hungry."
"Like... you can't eat?" Gwen nodded, looking down.
"I mean, I can eat. But I feel... full. I don't know how to describe it."
"Is it because you haven't eaten In ages?"
"yea pretty much." Gwen sighed. "At least I think it's because of that. I don't remember when I last ate."
"Well, let me take a look at you." Gwen raised her eyebrows in surprise, but nodded nonetheless. Wolfie stood up, putting a hand on each side of Gwen's waist.
"What are you doing?"
"Holding you still," they answered. "If I move my hand I'll hurt you." Gwen opened her mouth to protest, but closed it again when she realized that arguing would be pointless. Besides, they were right. There was no point in fighting it. So Gwen allowed herself to be taken care of.
Wolfie sat down next to her again. They examined her carefully, taking note of everything. Gwen couldn't help but stare at them, fascinated. Their eyes were focused on her stomach, and their expression soft. Gwen couldn't tell if it was love, or just compassion. Probably the latter.
"Did it always happen this often?"
"Sometimes. More recently it's only been like this."
"Is that why you were so tired lately?"
"Probably. I haven't gotten much sleep lately."
"Have you tried to eat more?"
Gwen shook her head. "I can't. My appetite is gone."
"How long does it last?"
"Usually about six hours. Then I usually throw up."
"And after throwing up, do you feel better?"
"Yea."
"Doesn't that make you uncomfortable?"
"Kind of."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to throw up anymore."
"But you already did."
"I don't feel like it though." Gwen sighed. "I wish I could stop it. But I don't want anyone to see me like this."
"Do you mind if we try something?" Gwen nodded. "All right. First, let's put your shirt back on. You don't want it getting ruined." Gwen reached down and slid the shirt back on. "Now sit back up and lean against the back of the sofa."
"Okay." Gwen settled back into position.
"Can you close your eyes?"
"Sure." Gwen shut her eyes tightly.
"Good. Now, I want you to focus on your breathing. If it gets too shallow, open your eyes." After a few seconds, she heard a sharp intake of air. "That's good. Keep going." Another minute later she heard the sound again, followed by another short inhale. "Excellent. That's it." She waited several minutes before asking, "Does that help? Any better?"
"No," Gwen said quietly. "I just feel worse."
"That's alright. Let's keep going." Wolfie paused for a moment. "How long do you normally throw up? Two or three times a week?"
"More often than that."
"Any symptoms?"
"Nausea. Vomiting."
"Anything else?"
"Pain sometimes."
"Where?"
"My stomach."
"What does it feel like? Does it hurt?"
"No. Not really."
"How often?"
"Just occasionally."
"Has it gotten better?"
"Mostly."
"How many times a week?"
"About two or three times a week. Maybe twice."
"Hmm. That must be why your appetite has been gone for weeks. You haven't eaten in days." Gwen nodded silently. "How often do you vomit?"
"Every night."
"That's really bad."
"It gets easier with time."
"I hope it will get easier soon."
Wolfie held back the urge to ask her again, wanting to wait until she felt more comfortable with answering. Instead, they asked, "Do you think it' safe to call someone?"
Gwen shook her head. "No. The last thing I want is to have doctors check on me."
Wolfie thought about it for a little bit. "I won't tell anyone."
"Thank you." Gwen took a deep breath, trying to ignore the pain.
"Are you ready to try again?" Gwen sighed heavily, nodding as an answer. "Close your eyes." Gwen obeyed, letting herself relax against Wolfie. She took one last deep breath before exhaling slowly. She stayed that way for a while before opening her eyes.
"Are you feeling better?"
Gwen nodded. "Much."
"Want to try again?"
"Sure." Gwen closed her eyes once more. "Open your eyes."
A few moments passed until she spoke again. "I don't feel like throwing up anymore."
"Good!"
Gwen smiled, glad that they got through to her.
They talked for quite some time longer, sharing stories about their childhoods, catching up on all the things they'd missed out on the past two years. Occasionally Gwen would cough, but other than that she seemed to be fine.
Eventually it started getting late. It had been less than an hour since they' finished talking. Gwen didn't want to end the conversation yet. "Wait! How do you do it?"
"Do what?" Wolfie questioned.
"Your powers. Do you ever go hungry?"
"Hm. Not that often."
"Are you okay? Do you need to eat anything?"
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me."
"But-"
"I said I'm fine."
"Fine." Gwen huffed. "You're lucky I care about you."
"I know."
"So, what do you wanna do now?"
"I don't know. What do you wanna do?"
"There isn't anywhere I've wanted to take you."
"We could stay here."
"Or I could show you around town."
"Maybe later. Right now, I just want to rest."
"Oh... Okay."
After a moment of quiet, Gwen decided to break the silence again. "Wolfie?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you choose to look after me?"
"Because that's what friends do!"
Gwen smiled slightly and hugged Wolfie. "Thank you, Wolfie."
Wolfie patted her shoulder gently. "You're welcome."