I'm not in love

I'm Done In

A crimson puddle formed beneath her as blood dripped from her head. The poor, fragile body of hers was covered in scars. From the floor to the nearby walls, blood was splattered everywhere. There was a horrific gash across her small chest, which was bleeding profusely. Wolfie froze in silence. They couldn't hear the shouts of everyone, or the wailing sirens of police and the ambulance. They eyes and hearing was focused on Gwen, and Gwen only. They knew it must've been their fault she ran away and got herself in this mess. It hurt them to imagine the pain and agony she was in now. The grip on Wolfie's body loosened as they sped across the road to where their best friend was bleeding. They knelt down beside her and lifted her head up gently. Despite blood dripping from her mouth and nose, her eyes seemed to be clamped shut.  They couldn't help but stare at her face. What used to be soft and clean, now scratched up and bruised. A quiet mumble escaping Gwen's mouth broke Wolfie out of their trance.
"It'll be ok, dear. Just stay with me, ok?" Wolfie pleaded as Gwens dull eyes flickered open. Her mumbling was incoherent, but Wolfie managed to understand what the blonde had said.
"I-it.. h-hurts.." She whispered, quietly whimpering.
"It's ok, I can find help that you need. You'll be ok." Wolfie responded. Gwen's lungs barely filled with short, shaky breaths. Wolfie carefully rubbed Gwen's chest in an attempt to clear her breathing, but to no avail. The girl shivered in pain as they tried to help her.
"You'll be ok, just stay awake for me!" Wolfie said, but as soon as their gaze turned towards Gwen, her breathing had stopped completely. She was unconscious. Panic overcame Wolfie as they tried their hardest to wake her up.
"Gwen!? Come on, wake up!" Wolfie screamed, but no response came. The ambulance arrived and Doctors gently lifted Gwen up and placed her on a small stretcher, where they carried her away. Wolfie ran alongside them, unwilling to leave Gwen on her own. Doctors allowed Wolfie to enter the back of the ambulance beside the girl while they helped her the best the can before they got to the hospital. When they got in, Wolfie buried their face into their hands. They kept telling themself that it was their fault. They should've just came clean and told her that they loved her. Wolfie carefully grabbed Gwen's hand and kissed it gently.
The blood still wouldn't stop and Wolfie grew paranoid, worried that she might not live.
"We'll try our best to make sure you're friend lives." One of the Doctors said, supposedly trying to calm them down. Wolfie looked at the doctor and nodded.
"Thank you." They said, noticing how shaky their speaking was. They shook their head and waited.
What felt like an eternity later, the ambulance arrived at the hospital, but Geen had still not awoken. Doctors carefully removed her from the vehicle and carried her away while Wolfie followed. As the doctors entered a room, Wolfie was no longer allowed to progress. They wanted to see Gwen in good condition with l their heart but the could not. Not yet. She was still under anesthesia after all. And they did not want it to interfere with her recovery. The doctors would not allow Wolfie into the room.
They didn’t argue. Instead they sat down at the door of Gwen’s room. They watched as she laid motionless on the bed and then slowly they leaned against the door and stared out the window. It didn’t matter what they looked like or how long they stayed there, h
they didn’t move. Their eyes were fixated on the ceiling. They tried hard to hold back tears that threatened to spill out. It felt as if someone had stabbed them through the heart. A part of them wanted to rush to Gwen and pull her close. To tell her that they loved her and they were here for her no matter what. But they knew that wasn’t possible. And though they both wished it were, this was something they couldn’t change no matter how much they tried.
Gwen had been given several injections during the night. The nurses had come into the room and said they thought she should get plenty of sleep but the doctor said that if she continued to stay unconscious then she might never wake up again. And while the doctors were very concerned about that outcome, the nurses understood. Gwen was a young woman who needed some rest. So they decided to let her be and leave her be. Gwen needed time. They would have to respect that.
And so they left. The nurses came back twice to make sure that everything was ok and that Gwen’s vitals were stable. Wolfie couldn't stand seeing her like this. Luckily enough, a nurse allowed them to sit beside her until she awoke. Then the other patients started coming in and asking for information on their loved ones. The visitors began to thin out until eventually the only people remaining were Gwen and Wolfie. Gwen's eyes remained closed but every now and then Wolfie felt her twitch slightly. Her fingers twitched. She opened her mouth once but no sound came out. Gwen's hands shook ever so slightly. Every so often her hand would jerk upwards and then fall limp again. Sometimes her lips moved too but nothing else came out. All they could hear was the slight whirring sound that came from each inhale and exhale.
Wolfie watched her carefully. All of a sudden, her heart monitor dropped flat. The machine went silent. Gwen had stopped breathing. But even with that, Gwen hadn’t opened her eyes. Her chest wasn’t rising anymore, her chest wasn’t moving. For whatever reason, she seemed lifeless. That thought terrified Wolfie. They reached forward, placing a finger lightly against her cheek. Doctors quickly sped in the room, asking for Wolfie to leave as soon as possible. With tears flowing freely from their eyes, Wolfie obeyed, leaving the room. their legs shook as they walked towards the waiting area. They sank onto one of the chairs there, unable to stop crying. Their whole body shook. How could this happen? How could they let this happen? They just wanted them to bring her home. Bring her back. Make her laugh and joke around again. They didn’t know what they would do if they lost her this time. If Gwen died... No, no. Wolfie refused to think of such a thing. There was no way Gwen would die. She had fought too hard. She would fight this damage too.
Wolfie felt someone sitting next to them. They looked up to see another nurse standing there looking down at them. They offered Wolfie a weak smile before continuing their conversation. “She will be fine, you know.” They said quietly.
“What do you mean,” asked Wolfie, not bothering to look at them.
The nurse gave them another small sad smile. They knew Wolfie would understand what they were implying. “This kind of accident happens every day at work,” they explained. “Everyone knows that when the person falls asleep during a shift it can result in multiple injuries, including death. So they keep an eye out for things like this.”
“I know,” replied Wolfie softly. “But I just… can’t imagine losing her. I can’t imagine being without her.”
The nurse smiled sadly at that. They placed their arm around them comfortingly. “You won’t lose her,” they reassured them. “No one dies alone. It just seems that way doesn’t it?”
Wolfie nodded. The nurse took their hand gently and held it in theirs. They waited for them to compose themselves and return the gesture before speaking again. “Her heart monitor started up again, so she's alive again."
"Thank God," mumbled Wolfie.
“Do you want me to stay with you awhile, or do you need to leave?”
“Stay. I don’t mind company,” they told the nurse with a sigh.
“All right. If you want, you can go see her."
Wolfie smiled gratefully at them. “Thanks.”
When the nurse left Wolfie stood up. They grabbed their jacket off the coat rack nearby and pulled it on before walking out of the waiting area and into Gwen’s hospital room. The first thing they noticed was how cold it was in there. Everything was quiet. The machines were completely silent. Nothing happened to anyone. Not even Gwen. Everyone else appeared to be sleeping.
After a couple of minutes, they sat back down in the chair by the side of the bed. This time they kept Gwen’s hand pressed firmly between their own. It calmed them a bit knowing she was safe and in a place where she could rest. At least for a little while longer. Wolfie had gotten better at keeping calm. After all, they had to keep their cool no matter what. Their emotions got them into trouble sometimes, after all. After what felt like hours, Gwen's eyes flickered open, glancing at Wolfie. Seeing that they had woken her up, Wolfie grinned widely at her. "Hey there. Welcome to the land of the living, Sunshine."
"I am feeling pretty awake," joked Gwen weakly.
"That is a good sign," replied Wolfie reassuringly. "How do you feel?"
"Like crap," she answered honestly. She winced slightly when she spoke. "Everything hurts."
"Don't be too quick to say everything hurts. You're gonna be just fine, Gwen," said Wolfie softly. "Just relax and wait."
"Yeah." Gwen sighed and closed her eyes.