Pathos - A Duskwood Fanfiction

Chapter 8

Lilly didn't know how long they had been standing there like that, in Jake's silent motel room, holding each other and crying, but even though the grief of the moment was palpable, she felt completely content and at peace in her brother's arms. And he seemed content as well, because he did not let go of her. After his sobs had died down and his heartbeat had slowed, he had loosened his grip on her but did not remove it.

She looked up then, raising her tear-stained face to look at him, and smiled sadly as she reached a hand up to wipe away the last vestiges of tears on his cheeks. He smiled back slightly, matching her solemnity, his eyes reddened and fatigued but still as piercing and focused as when they had first seen each other.

"How is she?" Jake asked softly, almost in a whisper, and it was then that they let go of each other in tandem, Lilly walking over to the bed and sitting on it with Jake following suit. He sat next to her quietly, eyes never leaving hers, and she found herself noting the straightness of his posture, the casual grace with which he moved.

She wondered what had lent him this captivating equilibrium, or if it was just part of who he was - the self-assured composure of someone who knew exactly who they were and of their purpose in the world.

"She's okay," Lilly started to say automatically, and then caught herself.

This was Jake, not some nosy passer-by on the street staring her down and following her, asking about Hannah. She had about enough of them as she had attempted to do some grocery shopping yesterday - the staring eyes and whispers behind her back.

If anyone managed to get close enough to her as she hurried down the aisles, they would inevitably stop her with solemn expressions, asking about Hannah. She ended up saying the same words, or bland variants thereof, like a mantra as she navigated the people seeming to come up out of the woodwork and around every corner - "She's okay. Just needs some time. No, we don't need anything. Thank you, I'll tell her."

And so on. Ad nauseum.

By the time she'd returned home with the groceries, she was completely exhausted. She'd returned to her bedroom after stocking the pantry, walking as quietly as she could past Hannah's door. She'd hovered in her step as she had passed the verge, ears straining for sound. But none ever came.

Hannah had not emerged from her bedroom since she had been released from hospital after her rescue, where they had kept her for a cursory twenty-four hour monitoring period. There was nothing physically wrong with her, the doctors had assured Lilly and her parents as they had stood in a silent, anxious huddle in the waiting room. Aside from some superficial scrapes and bruising, she had endured her captivity remarkably well. Physiologically.

But she was going to need extensive trauma and grief counselling, they had said. And a psychiatrist to handle the new medications that they had put her on. And time, the eldest doctor had said gently, as she had watched Lilly with kind, rheumy eyes.

A lot of time.

Perhaps a lifetime's worth.

Lilly took a shaky breath, and then amended: "No. She's not okay. Of course she isn't. She may never be."

Jake's eyes fell away from hers at this, resting his gaze on the carpet for a long while, until he spoke quietly again.

"Where is she?"

"At home," Lilly replied. "With our parents."

Jake nodded at this with a brooding, unreadable expression, and then rose to stand.

"Would it be alright if I got dressed? I won't be long."

Lilly laughed slightly, shaking her head in sudden consternation. "Of course, Jake. It's not like I barged in on you at three in the morning or anything."