Pathos - A Duskwood Fanfiction

Chapter 29 - trigger warning: suicide

(Author's note: not as big a chapter today as I had hoped - it's been 3 years but I finally caught COVID! Feeling like dogshit rn, so please forgive the shortish chapter.

Also - trigger warning. This chapter talks about suicide, and it also touches on some potentially upsetting perspectives on those that complete suicide and those that are left behind. Please be aware that these perspectives in no way reflect my personal views on the subject - they belong to the characters only.

I love you all. ❤️)

Slowly, Lilly pushed open the unlocked door to Phil's loft apartment, leaning inside slightly to look around warily. As she did so, she heard the sound of a door opening upstairs and she looked up just in time to see Jessy starting to descend the spiral staircase downwards.

Jessy's long deep red hair was wet from her shower, and it hung down in a loose braid over one shoulder. She was wearing a black, oversized knitted sweater that hung to mid-thigh, and a pair of simple black joggers underneath. Her feet were bare as she padded down the stairs, and Lilly could see the remnants of her footprints on each step as the moisture of the shower left the soles of her feet in slow degrees with every point of contact.

She was thin, Lilly thought to herself grimly, as the other woman made contact with the landing. Too thin. She almost looked worse than Hannah. Jessy's countenance was pale and withdrawn, and a look of concern sat upon her face as she glanced at Lilly and then looked towards the main living area searchingly.

"Where's Phil?"

Lilly raised her shoulders in a wordless shrug at the question, and Jessy frowned. Her light blue eyes looked paler than Lilly remembered them being; almost appearing completely devoid of colour as though the experiences of the past month and a half had leeched their vibrancy away.

"I heard a door slam?" Jessy asked, and when Lilly shook her head mutely in a silent gesture of uncertainty, Jessy called out.

"Phil?"

But there was no reply. Jessy's eyebrows knitted tightly together in response to the silence, looking at Lilly questioningly.

"Did something happen?"

Lilly gave another awkward half-shrug and leaned down to remove her shoes, uncertain as to how to proceed.

"He said that he met Jake," she said hesitantly, and Jessy nodded.

"He told me," the other woman replied, a puzzled expression still lingering upon her features. "Did something happen?"

Lilly was now starting to become flustered, desperately wanting to move onto any other topic at all. She'd even prefer to talk about Richy at this point - much more preferable to talk about that whole shitstorm than to have to think about exactly how Jake was going to react to Phil's feelings if he ever found out about them.

"I don't know," Lilly said vaguely, feeling her cheeks starting to slowly flush in panicked embarrassment. "You know how Jake can be sometimes. It's probably just a guy thing," she finished unhelpfully, and Jessy continued to stare at her in confusion.

"A guy thing?" Jessy echoed, but before she could force Lilly to elaborate any further, thank fuck, the sound of footsteps came from above them and they both looked up to see Phil walking down the stairs. As he descended, he flashed Lilly a warning stare before looking to Jessy, his face transforming from his previous anger to his usual jaunty half-grin.

"A guy thing?" Phil said lightly as he headed towards them. "I guess if you call your hacker friend being a complete asshole a 'guy thing', then yeah. A guy thing."