stockholm syndrome // h.s

twenty two.

Jackie's Point of View

Harry's mouth dropped open in shock as he began cupping his sore cheek.

My eyes weren't wide in surprise, and I didn't feel remotely sorry for what I did, in fact - I was strangely calm. Although... He did deserve it. I probably should have thrown a punch instead.

"Jackie, I... I didn't mean that.." Harry muttered, his jaw still unhinged in shock over the slap.

"You seem to say a lot of things you don't mean lately." I said, trying to unclench my teeth but just ending up clenching them tighter.

My fists turned into balls at my sides, my nails dug into my skin roughly and I wondered how hard I'd have to press for it to bleed. At that thought, I released my fists, letting out a long, slow breath and looked into Harry's eyes again.

"I don't ever want you to touch me again." I said slowly, my eyes narrowed in anger as I turned and began to storm away from him.

I got as far as the door to our motel when Harry suddenly plucked me back by the hood of my sweater, spinning me around and back to face him.

"Jackie, don't do that.. you know I didn't mean that.." He said, his voice on the verge of pleading

"No, how could you be so inconsiderate and say those things? You knew what it would do to me, and you said it anyways. I'm starting to think that's exactly what you wanted...you've always wanted to push me as far away from you as possible. Am I wrong?" I huffed out in angered breaths.

"I'm trying to fight this, Jackie." Harry admitted, looking down at the angry face I was making,"I'm trying to fight the.. the voice inside of me that tells me to push you away. I'm trying to fight the version of me that says stupid shit to you like that.. and I just want to be good for you, but I can't and I'm..."

Harry stopped abruptly, his eyes wide and shiny, I looked into them which resulted in them immediately softening.

I was such a sucker for him, no matter what he did to me I would always forgive him.

"You're what?" I asked, waiting for him to continue, my eyebrows raised.

"I'm scared!" He snapped, backing away from me the slightest bit. He looked down at my face for a reaction of some sort before he continued. My face was blank.

"You.. scare me."

"Why?" I asked, a simple question really, but it held the answers to everything that made Harry who he was.

It would answer why he was scared, who hurt him, what happened to make him cold, how long he's been this way... I needed these answers before I could open myself up to him further.

"Why?" Harry repeated, as if he couldn't quite grasp the question i was asking.

"Yes, why? Why are you scared of me? I'm a 5'6" scrawny blonde girl. I am nothing to be scared of. I've never even given you any reason to be scared of me." I said, shaking my head as I spoke. "And if you can't answer this question the way you should answer it, then I'm gone, and I'm not coming back." I finished.

"Are you threatening me?" He asked dubiously, his eyes wide.

"No..." I shook my head again, "I'm just telling you that I can't do this anymore, and unless I start getting something back from you, I'm going to walk away from this, whatever this is." I replied harshly.

"So, you are threatening me," Harry laughed weakly, "how did I not see this coming?"

"What are you talking about now, Harry?" I sighed heavily, rubbing my forehead in frustration.

Harry eyes darkened suddenly and his muscles stiffened.

"You can't force someone to talk about their past, no matter how badly you want to know about it, no matter how badly you want to fix me, Jackie, you can't force it out of me. You expect me to be ready to tell you whenever you snap your fingers at me but that's not how it works. I tell you when I'm ready to, and if I'm never ready then I'm never ready and that's that. I thought you were smarter than this, I figured you'd be more patient with me... but I guess not, huh? You want me all now or not at all, well, you get nothing then." He huffed out harsh breaths when he was done speaking, and he noticed that the only change in my face were the tears as they trickled down my cheeks.

I held back tears before responding, "Is this it? Is this the pity party your throwing? Because frankly I'm not sure I ever could feel sorry for someone as sorry as you." I choked out, pain and hurt laced it's way through out my words.

"GODDAMMIT JACKIE JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!" Harry shouted in frustration, grabbing me roughly by the shoulders and dead locking his cold eyes with mine.

Several more tears worked their way down my cheeks as I waited for him to continue .

"You. Can't. Fix. Me." Harry spat out harshly, hesitating between every word.

Harry pulled his hands away from my shoulder as if they were suddenly on fire.

"Fine, then I'm done trying" I replied evilly, beginning to feel my heart become as cold as his as the tears faded away.

"Than what are you still doing here." Harry replied, completely un phased motioning his hand towards the door.

My stomach twisted into a tight knot that made my head throb and I felt my heart immediately break down and shatter into a million pieces, until their was nothing left.

Harry turned his head away from me as he waited for me to leave.

I grabbed the door knob and yanked the door open, exposing my skin to the cool air.

I noticed a familiar boy standing in the motel parking lot, taking small puffs from a cigarette and blowing smoke into the air.

I slammed the motel door behind me
shut, officially creating a barrier between me and Harry.

My first instinct was to go to Louis, so I did.

I ran up to him, almost startling him as he greeted me with a warm smile.

In the next few hours that passed I found myself finding comfort in Louis as we talked about everything on our minds, and for a short while I forgot about the devil like boy whom goes by Harry.

I found it extremely hard to believe that I could enjoy Louis' company so much. It also surprised me that I developed an immediate fondness of Louis and his wisdom, but what really surprised me was the fact that I lost my virginity to Louis that night.

A.n: I think I need to go into hiding now so I won't be brutally murdered aha.

uhm yeah I don't know

Tell me what you think.

All the fucking love, Janah.