stockholm syndrome // h.s

seven.

Jackie's Point of View

I shifted in my seat feeling uneasy as Harry started up the van and continued driving.

We both sat in dead silence for what seemed like hours, in fact, you could see the sunrise peeking up above the horizon.

My mind wandered in every direction and I frequently debated whether or not I should ask Harry what his problem was, but then again that might just set him off even more.

I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, and to top it off I couldn't even tell you when I ate last because I honestly can't remember.

"Harry" I whispered, breaking the deafening silence.

I nervously bit my lip as I waited for his response.

"What" he retorted, clearly annoyed.

"I have a question..." I replied calmly.

"Ask away" Harry replied.

"How long have you liked me?" I questioned him nervously.

"I don't like you" Harry replied sternly, shooting me a quick glance.

"No, I mean like...how long have you liked me since before...earlier" I questioned.

Harry's eyes went cold at my question. He sat in silence before finally answering my question.

"Since 4th grade." Harry replied, barely above a whisper.

I felt my heart start to pound hard in my chest.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I replied, my voice started to become shaky.

"Dammit Jackie why does it even matter!" Harry shouted in frustration, he was clearly holding back his anger for quite sometime.

I shifted in my seat uncomfortably in response to Harry's sudden outburst.

"You don't have to be so mean you know" I mumbled, barely audiable.

"Fine. You really want to know why I never told you I liked you? Because, I was scared. I was so scared. I've spent a 3rd of my life hoping that maybe, just maybe I could muster up enough courage to ask for your number or even just talk to you, but I couldn't. That's the kind of effect you've had on me all these years. Even through high school I would watch you everyday in the same spot, at the double doors between the cafeteria and the gym, every single day you would meet there with your friends as they talked about the latest gossip and who was dating who or whatever the fuck high school girls normally talk about, but you were different, you've always been different to me, you never seemed interested in those things, you're so down to earth. Then every single day you would leave that spot, wave bye to your friends and walk alone to you're next class, except you weren't really alone, I was always there following a safe distance behind you, why? Because I knew if I didn't see you then, then I more than likely wouldn't see you the rest of the day, and that's just it, I had to see you, even just a short glimpse of that award winning smile was enough to send me into over drive for the rest of the day, even to the point where I couldn't focus on anything in my next class because you were the only thing I could think about." Harry's face went cold as he spoke his last sentence. He took a long deep breath and didn't even take a second to look at my expression before starting up again.

"And you know what the worse part of it all is? It was a waste of time. You're exactly like the rest. I thought you were different but you proved me wrong. You fucking kissed me. I've only been waiting my entire life to have the privilege to do something as little as touch your skin, much less kiss you, and then when it happen, you stopped me in the middle of it, I could have cried right on the spot. You will never understand the effect you have on me." Harry's words were harsh and bone chilling.

I bit down hard on my bottom lip to prevent it from quivering and hopefully also prevent me from crying out.

I had no idea, hell I barely knew Harry existed.

I didn't even think it was possible for someone to ever match what Harry just said to me. I've never felt so cold hearted and miserable than I did in this moment.

I couldn't even process what I could possibly say to him that would make all this ok, because frankly nothing will.

"im sorry" I mumbled in a shaky voice, trying my hardest to prevent a tear from falling down my cheek.

I looked over to see Harry, throwing his head back in a fit of laughter, not a sarcastic laugh either, a sincere one, like what I said was really humorous to him.

"Bullshit."

(a.n: OMFUCKINGGOSH GUYs IM SO SORRY PLS FORGIVE ME IT WILL GET BETTER I SWEAR ON IT. P.s DONT FORGET THE FACT THAT HARRY BOUGHT CONDOMS LULZ.
Mmkay LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. Peace an blessins. Much love Xx.)