stockholm syndrome // h.s

twenty three.

(Super long chapter because u guys got me 31k reads :))

Jackie's Point of View

My heavy, tired eyes focused on the dimly lit numbers shining from the digital clock as it projected into the pitch black room.

2:04 am

I groaned in frustration at the time, slumping back further into the comfortable bed that I was sharing with Louis.

My mind wondered in every direction making it impossible for me
to even think about sleeping.

I turned my head towards Louis' sleeping figure next to me, I lightly frowned at the sight.

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen.

I was never meant to lose my virginity to a one night stand with a guy whom I've known less than two days and who just happens to own the motel that Harry had brought he and I too.

Louis comforted me when I needed it the most and from what he told me I comforted him also.

I guess I felt as though I owed him something else in return.

It happened faster than I could have prevented it, and thinking back on what happened a sick feeling crawled into the pit of my stomach.

I just had meaningless sex with a guy who's girlfriend just died.

At that thought, I cautiously pushed the bedsheets away from my body, turning my self to where I was facing the wall with a blank stare.

I maneuvered my legs to where they lightly touching the chilled wood floor beside the bed and pushed my self up so that I was standing still beside the bed.

My feet silently padded the wood floor towards the door of the room.

I didn't know where I was going, I didn't know where I wanted to go and I definitely didn't have anywhere I needed to go.

I just had to, I had to get away from
everything's that happened in that damned motel.

I pushed the door open with ease, revealing the black night sky and an absent, yet crowded motel parking.

My legs were begging me to run and not hesitate. Yet, the ache in my heart as I stared at Harry's van that was still sitting in the parking lot was telling every willing part of me to stay.

Needless to say, my heart won.

I stood outside the motel building motionless, my body weight pressed against the dim light pole that illuminated the parked cars below it.

I questioned what I should do next, a part of me wanted to run into Harry's room and jump into his arms, but that would make me weak, and for some reason I wanted to be weak.

My feet quickly guided me to Harry's door, I stopped directly in front of it, tracing the number "17" over and over again with my fingers.

I pressed my knuckles to the door lightly, bringing them off the door and back on it several times in quiet knocks.

I watched as the door knob was beginning to open rather slowly, I decided that I have a few options, 1. Go back into Louis' room and hide; 2. Jump into his arms and tell him how stupid we both are being; 3. Ask him if we can talk.

Okay, option 2 wasn't really even an option, just a thought in the back of my selfish mind. Option 1 wasn't an ideal option either because I don't like to hide from things. They always come back to haunt you, no matter how long you hide.

So, with a deep cleansing breath I planted my feet to the ground in front of the door and waited.

I couldn't help the shocked look on my face, as I watched a random blonde girl smile at me before Harry led her away past the door, brushing against my shoulder harshly, without another look to me.