Love Me Rough |Lance Oneshots|

☁︎body of water☁︎

[Langst]

[No ship]

[In this au Lance is the youngest McClain, some of his older siblings moved out and the rest are in college or university. This also takes place on earth]

[Warning:
-Alcoholism
-Hints of abuse
-Sh
-Suidical thoughts
-Death
If any of these trigger you please click off for your own well being, but if you decided to stay you have been alerted of what to expect.

Enjoy<3

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~Lance's POV~

I fell asleep to the reality I had created. A world where it was just me and them. A world in which I pretended we were happy.

But that was not true, was it? In the midst of everything I had realized I was aware only of my own unspeakable fears and embarrassments. Before anyone realized it, I had become an accomplished clown, a tall child who never spoke a single truthful word.

My trance of realization was ruined by the screams of my parents arguing. With a soft sigh escaping my chapped lips, I got up from the comfortable position I had finally gotten into. I walked with caution as I went to lock my door. I didn't want them to remember of my existence, it's never good if they remembered while I'm here.

Remembering had its faults which I had met; it was never to be peaceful whenever father remembered he had a wife, kids and a home. It turned worse for him to remember whenever he decided to stop sleeping around and be the sober parent for once, knowing damn well that mother would fail the moment she thought of staying away from alcohol.

How they managed to continue making money and still be referred to as human beings while their bodies and minds were corrupted by alcohol, was beyond me.

*Clash!* The breaking of chinaware has become normal music for this house. The way my parents easily fell apart showed me that we lived on borrowed time,'What a trainwreck excuse of parents.'

But I should know better, after standing at the door for some time to clarify that neither of them are coming up the stairs, I head to the bathroom attached to my room. As I enter I am greeted with the plain white walls my life will be remembered by.

I stood in front of the mirror staring into the reflection of me everybody likes, I attempted to smile in my weakness which got cut off by my own disgust at the person I pretended to be.

Reaching for razor blade that sat on the far edge of my sink, I brought it up to my already scarred arm. As I ran the razor over the other marks, blood dripped down staining the white porcelain of the sink red.

'Wait,,, why isn't it working?'

Other newly made marks accompany the one which I started off with, 'Where is the feeling I hope to get out of this!?' my thoughts echo out to the blade in my hand as the cuts get deeper and deeper, 'I'm suppose to feel something!' with that I let razor drop into the sink.

A stray tear of frustration slip through the corner of my eye unintentionally, dropping into the sink colliding with a blood stain causing it slowly to fade.

Shaky breaths find their way out my throat, denting the silence of the room I'm in. 'I guess the drip finally stopped'

My hand reached to open the faucet letting cold water erase the evidence of the blood ever being there. I bought my bleeding arm to meet the coldness of the water. It slightly stung drawing a little more blood from the cuts to be washed down the drain.

After turning off the faucet, with my other hand I opened my medicine cabinet above the sink, grabbing a neatly rolled bandage. I draped it messily over my scarred arm, soon after I began to properly wrap the cuts before they start bleeding again.

After wrapping the bandage comfortably around my arm and making sure that it won't come undone, I pull the now clean razor out of the sink perching it right back on its corner.

I let my mind wonder to ways I can get relieve from the person I pretended to be, ways to remember I'm alive and only one conclusion came to mind,'Suicide' the thought of it still bought bitterness to my tongue.

I had once reached for that relieve, after my loathing for society and everything about it became too much to stomach. I’d tried to leave it all behind, and all that happened was I’d woken up in the hospital sewn back together. This time I will see to it that there is be nothing to sew back together.

#Timeskip(two days later)#

Wind blew violently towards me attempting to push me back to safety, my socks meet the cold concrete as my shoes lay discarded for someone to find after my death. I stood on the edge of the 6th story construction building, the rain had already started making it a better day to die.

I had not thought it will rain today, but the rain will count as a benefit as it will wash away my blood and along with my existence. My body won't be surrounded by blood making it a little less traumatic for the person doomed by the fates to find me.

My view traveled towards the ground where I imagined my body splattered, today I shall be a different kind of nothing, the wind, the sky, the rain.

For a minute, I can feel it: the sense of peace as my mind goes quiet, like I’m already dead. I am weightless and free. Nothing and no one to fear, not even myself. This is the feeling I had desired, the feeling of control and now that I had it in my grasp, I will not be willed to let it go.

My arms were outstretched, as I turned my back to the world. The wind blew again and I flew with it, the grey rainy sky became farther and farther away to reach.

Pain ran through me for a moment as I collided with the concrete ground. I could no longer tell the rain from my tears while my vision went hazy. The sky was the last thing I saw, and I was convinced it weeping for my death.

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Welp that took longer to write than expected (-_-)

That's all folks, hope you enjoyed :]

1091 words~