relapse

part 6

!huge trigger warning. !relapse! you can skip to the next one if you'd like!

once everyone had gone to bed. midoriya ventured to the bathroom and locked the door, not wanting anyone to catch him in his act of relapsing.

he took gentle and quiet steps towards the mirrors, stopping in front of one.

he tiptoed to reach above the mirror and grabbed the razor, calming down at the mere thought of hurting himself.

he walked over to the showers and placed the razor on the little thing you put soap on.

he turned the shower on. making sure it was the right temperature.

turning away from the mirrors, he undressed himself and got into the shower. letting the hot water stream down his body covered in faded scars.

he gently grabbed the razor.

bringing down to his forearm, he placed it against his skin and pressed down before gliding it across his skin and making a cut. the water quickly seeped into the fresh cut and stung midoriya, causing the boy to wince.

even if it brought pain. he loved it (in a false sense) and felt an overwhelming sense of relief that caused him to slump against the wall of the shower and bring himself to the floor.

he continued to hurt himself.

watching the blood blend together with the water beautifully.

the thoughts. the promise. the voice.

they all went away and left his mind blank, leaving a euphoric feeling.

within seconds, midoriya realized what he'd done.

that relief. the calming effect of his self harm. everything he had felt in that calming moment went away as everything else came flooding back in.

"the promise..." he whispered as the tears overflowed and streamed down his cheeks, not that they were noticeable, the water from the shower made everything blend in.

the sobs he had been suppressing began to get louder and harder to contain, causing the green haired boy to gasp as he desperately held his hand over his mouth to the muffle the sobs.

i broke the promise. i broke the promise. i broke the promise. i broke the promise. i broke the promise. i broke the promise.

"i broke the promise..."

naked and alone. slumped against the cold tile wall of the shower.

he cried in pain.

repeatedly reminding himself of the promise he tried his best to keep.

the more he thought of it. the more and more he felt like screaming.

"i don't deserve to be here...."