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I did a double update, ha-haaa.

Can't wait to get you on your own.

Those nine words stick with you for the rest of the day, and it's difficult to refrain from sending a reply: the message itself seemed somewhat final, not meant for a response.

"Y/n, stop tapping," Harry suddenly says irritably - or it would be if he had any emotion in his voice - and you look down at the pen in your hand in surprise, dropping it on the desk when you realise what you're doing. You look around to see some of the library's visitors staring at you with irked expressions over their books, and you grin shyly and fold your arms, your leg jiggling under the desk instead.

The next few days pass by in a compressed blur, short and blunt and barely noticeable, your entire mind focusing on the Saturday ahead. When it finally arrives, you have to shake yourself out of your ridiculous breathlessness, the excitement surging in your veins and keeping your mind unfocused. Neha has to take you by the top of the arms and shake you slightly to get your head together.

You wait for Stuart outside the library where you agreed to meet, playing with your phone to look less awkward, only taking a break from it to glare at Graham when he passes with his 'friends', and you drop it when Stuart suddenly says from behind you, "What are you doing?" right against your ear, his head hanging over your shoulder.

He sniggers as you bend, red-faced, to retrieve your phone from the ground. He steps back from leaning close to you and you mock-punch him when you straighten before the two of you begin the walk to the accommodation.

"I went to the shop and found M&Ms," you note, waving the bag suggestively. Stuart smirks and raises his eyebrows.

"Tempting. I found these cake things I've never tried before; they look good," Stuart replies, frowning slightly with thought, and you take a deep breath behind him as you eventually reach his door. He gets his key and calmly unlocks the door, holding the door open for you before following close behind and shutting the door with a quiet thump.

You look around slowly, letting your bag slide off your shoulder, and Stuart takes it from you as he shrugs his jacket off and throws it onto the back of the sofa, rushing about to the kitchen connected to the living room and putting a packet* on the side.

"Impressive," you comment as you look around. "It actually looks like a house instead of the messy boy-hovel I was expecting."

Stuart throws you a look. "I'm not that awful, y/n."

"I know, I'm just saying," you reply lightly, holding up your hands. Soon you both sit on the floor cross-legged, leaning against the sofa as you face the laptop resting on the minimalistic coffee table in front of you, food dotted around the pair of you, and offer the bag of M&Ms to Stuart as you watch the screen with interest.

It's strangely perfect, the two of you sat together companionably with sugary food and a film to dis, the two of you pointing out every flaw freely when you spot it and making the other laugh or debate the point when appropriate.

You're just laughing when he pokes fun at one part when you turn to look at him, your hands winding around your stomach to hold in your giggles and the threat of chocolate coming back up. Stuart looks at you with a strange look you've never seen before, still smiling but his eyes lost for a moment, darting from your lips to your eyes, and his tongue licks his own lips.

Your smile falters slightly and you panic internally when he leans closer, slowly to give you time to think, to breathe, to prepare yourself. Unfortunately, you panic so much as you see his face near, your heart fluttering on overload, that you blurt just as his lips are almost brushing yours, "I need a drink."

Stuart freezes with his mouth still just so close to yours, and leans back, nodding, put-out and silent as you struggle upright and go to the kitchen to find a drink, panicking.

You nearly kick yourself when you look at him across the room/s as he rubs his face and runs his hand through his hair, sighing slightly, and you wish you couldn't have been so ridiculously worried. It wasn't that you didn't want to kiss him - you've often dreamt about kissing him for hours on end - it was that split second where your brain fizzed and you felt so sick with glee that you were terrified you were going to throw up in his mouth, or laugh in his face. It wasn't like you had tons of boyfriends and experience back at school.

You bite your lip, bottle from the fridge - where you spent several minutes with your head shoved right in to calm yourself down - in hand, and return to the living room anxiously, tucking your hair behind your ears.

Stuart doesn't look at you when you come back so you ask timidly, "Should I go?"

He finally turns to face you properly. "Why?"

"I...I thought... Never mind," you wave your hand too jerkily for the move to be casual and sit back down, noticeably further from Stuart than before, and the two of you watch the rest of the movie in silence.

He says goodbye to you later stiffly, his throat throbbing with the words he seems unable to say to you, but you can't say the ones you're holding back yourself, so the two of you part with something unfinished hanging in the air between you. You turn on your heel as soon as the door closes behind you and scurry to Neha's flat, knocking on the door quickly until she opens it, panting.

"Y/n, what're you doing here?"

"I think I just made the biggest mistake I've ever made?"

*of cake, not condoms XD Just imagined him whacking out a packet of condoms, oops.

Aha, I got you there. I just know if I was in that situation, I would do that because me + intimacy = no. I laugh at everything, particularly when I panic. So...yeah. Also, this just draws the story out and keeps the ending at bay ;) Very rushed, oops.

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