I have been sitting next to Riri for almost two hours now.Not listening to a word she was saying.She has been going on about some boy in campus.I was intrested to know who captivated my bestfriend's mind, but sitted here, all i could think of is what Hailey and Justin are doing right now.My mind was battling different thoughts that as much as i did not want to think of i could not help myself.I needed a glass of water because with the way my palms were sweating and my heart racing, yeah dehydration.
"Or what do you think?"Riri asked.
Guilty that i have not been listening to the story she was much intrested narating to me, i excused my self to head to the kitchen for a glass of water.But i regreted it once i reached the hallway.
"Yeeeesss right there baby,yeeessss,oh my God,"Hailey screamed repeatedly.
I dont know for how long have i been standing there.My legs unable to move and my tears falling down my chicks uncontrollably.At that moment is like the world stopped moving,the pain that rushed through my chest was immensely powerful. I dont know how i got myself kneeling down but it felt like my body was too heavy for my legs to carry.
I am not in water but i feel like i'm drowning and i can't reach the surface for air.I cant breathe.My head feels like it's exploding and i just want to sleep forever.How can i make this all stop.My body was literally running out of oxygen.I was to weak to call out for help.Deep down knowing i was loosing consciousness.How could someone i barely knew having this much effect on me.I let the last tear fall from my left eye as all i could see was darkness.
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"Hey, hey, easy there.Its Riri.I fould you unconscious in the hallway,"she voiced."Are you okay?Should i call your parents?"she continued. "Guys come she is awake."
I woke up in Riris bed confusion washing over me.I was still drowsy and felt a slight headache.I closed my eyes trying to recall what happened when i remembered what caused my panic attack.
"Hey, are you okay?"Justin walked over the bed worry all over his face.
"I will get her some water,"Hailey announced.
"Let me also get you some pain killers.You must have fallen and hurt your head.It will help with the headache."Riri added.
"Hey, fuck!"Justin said rubbing the back of his head."Am sorry i...i ....ii dont know what came over me."
"Get out."I managed to gather every strength left in me."Get the hell out.I hate you"i screamed.
"Lena,"he pouted."Please dont do this, i said am sorry.I regret it.Okay?"
"You are the reason am in this condition in the first place.Just leave me alone Justin,"i cried.At this point i could not control my tears.How could he.The audacity.
"Yooh, what have you said to her again broh?"Riri solicited as she pushed her away through her cousin to the bed.
"I want him out of my sight.Please tell him to leave."i cried out.
"BRO!WHAT THE FUCK?WHAT DID YOU DO?" Riri divulged lookin shockingly at his cousin."Did you not hear her?Get the hell out!"she pushed him towards the door.
Riri handed me the medication and a glass of water without a word.But from her gaze clearly hundreds of questions were running through her mind.Am glad she did not want an explanation right now and she let me rest.I was too much exhausted and i just wanted to sleep.Preparing my self for when i wake up i have some explaining to do.Guilt washed over me that i kept my failed relationship with Justin a secret.
"Can i have a word with you please?"i heard Justin tell Riri.
No. Don't tell her.She has to hear it from me.Riri must have given me some sleeping pills because i was to drowsy to stop Justin.
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I rubbed my eyes as the sun illuminated through the curtain windows.It took me a second to load where i am and the events of last night.I was feeling better and i inwardly thanked my bestfriend for the painkillers.
I tried looking for her in her room but she was no where not even in her bathroom.So i headed downstairs hoping to find her but she was no where.I got out to see maybe she was seated at the porch but not.I decided to call her name out loud, because as far as i know we did not have school today.
"She went to the grocery. She also said when you are awake, i let you know that she is running some erands and that you should wait for her, before going back home."Hailey said adjusting the cups of her bra."Am also leaving,how are you feeling?"she added.
"Am okay now.Thank you for asking."I replied.
"Baaabe, am leaving now.Take care of Sel before Riri is back,"she shouted as she headed out closing the door.
No way am i staying under one roof with that narcissist. I head upstairs to grab my bag.Just as am about to leave, Justin blocks my way.
"Riri was very clear when she said you shouldn't leave until she was back.Am sorry."
"Did you tell her?Did you tell her that you fucked the hell out of me and seconds later ther dick is in Hailey.Making her feel all the pleasures i felt?Did you?"At this point my voice was breaking and i was shouting at the top of my lungs.
"Hey, hey cool down."he sought trying to get close to me.
"Don't you fucking dare touch me Justin!"I was crying.
"I love you.I know its odd of me saying this.But...but i love you Lena.Since that night i can't get you out of my head.Fuck"
"Don't you fucking dare.Who the hell do you think you are.You disgust me."i said disgust clear in my face.How could he was all i have been thinking lately.
"Wow, you hate me that much.I wasn't even fucking Hailey yesterday night.I asked her to touch her self that was it."
"Yeah right.What about all the moaning.Oh Justin right there.Huh?!Do you think am stupid?"i was having another panic attack and am sure Justin noticed because he started to signal me to calm down.
"Breathe with me.Okay.Iiiiiiin Ouuuuttt.You going to be okay.Just focus on your breathing."He noted concern evident in his voice.
After my breathing was stable he got close to me and gave me a warm hug.Every hurt, betrayal and pain i was feeling a while ago dissapeared.All i could feel was his warm breath on my neck.He slightly moved back so our mouths were almost touching.I could not move away and at this point all i could imagine was what his mouth tasted like.I found my self closing my eyes.Goosepumps all over my skin and my breathing heavy.
"I WANT YOU."
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