standing there, in the ocean of people and music and flashing lights and voices and faces and lust and youth and sweet sixteen ages, i've never felt so lost
their faces turn into demons and curses and ghouls and their eyes flash red like the ghosts screaming in my head, forever dying and breathing beer and dihydrogen monoxide & dying again. they're all laughing and sneering dark shadows against vermillion skies of my twisted reality nightmares. they're all the monsters in my head that i immortalized once i looked at them because they will die inside with me but continue to exist because i refuse to die, for some reason. ever since i saw you.
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{they come closer, closer, closer
as
/ THE LIGHTNING /
/ IN MY HEAD/
/ EXPLODES AND THROBS AND DULLS OVER AND OVER AGAIN/
/ I DROWN /
/ IN DIZZYING SENSATIONS /
/ OF /
burning, burning
/ BEER BURNING DOWN MY THROAT /
/ burning, burning }
the numbness crashes down and all i can see now is the surface of dark oceans and i'm underneath that surface, inhaling smoke and smoldering memories and bleeding fragments of gray and blue bruises in my sore vision and glitching tenderly, agonizingly,
WHERE-WHER-WHE-WH-W
am
I
i see blinding lights slashing through my vision and i hear myself talking to strangers but i'm not actually there / faces close in and lips meet my skin and when i wake up in the morning i'll be in the arms of a stranger but i'm drowning too fast to notice-
ROSELIN.
ROSELIN.
ROSELIN.
ROSELIN.
i have never seen the light.
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