(tw: abuse, depression, suicide attempt)
FROM BLOOD-STAINED JOURNALS OF POETRY, WHEN HE WAS 9
recently it's like i'm no longer part of my body
as if my soul and i disconnected and everything is so foggy
when i look in the mirror i see black and white glitches
glazed eyes starin' down to a heart made of stitches
my mama says i'm too young to be this depressed
but why do i feel 10 lifetimes crushing my empty chest?
father likes to smash beer bottles against my bones
he kicks me in the stomach and his words hurt like stones
when he's not drunk he likes to tell me that i must be a man
i must never be emotional and pretend i give no damns
but the problem, the problem is i care too much
i don't know why but i get scared too much
i want to be the person that he wants me to be
but there's only darkness inside of me
and i can't hear my heart anymore, i can no longer see
the figments of my past self, shrouded in mystery
🌙
FROM BLOOD-STAINED JOURNALS OF POETRY, PRESENT TIME, AGE 11
when my parents fought
i'd stare at the old piano book
and i'd
look through the notes
and they'd rearrange into a
garden of unknown languages and
symbols and i'd grow
forget-me-nots from the curves
in the open notes and
swipe cerulean over the
sticcados and accents,
breathing the last part of
me that was alive into the
lines of music while i stopped
living and only existed<i ' m d e a d i n s i d e>
YOU ARE READING
THE WHITE ROSE PAINTED WITH BLOOD
Novela Juvenil[ poetry story / teen fiction ] : about teens, who were afraid. NOTE : feel free to skip the entirety of book i ; autumn and jump straight to book ii ; winter // © 2021-2022 @uranium-girl