Butterflies Volume II

Chapter 25

Violet stared in the mirror again. Standing there reminded her of when she helped Kimiko with her appearance a long while ago, and she felt an urge to have her there again. To paint their nails before uncertainty. She had her suit back on, and her stomach twisted with the thought of the looks she'll receive when she left the room. In the yellow lights of M.M.'s bathroom the purple holographic glitter reflected onto the sink, and she felt her fingers across it. If Homelander saw her in it again, would he feel victorious? Even if she wore it for herself, she was still painting herself in their image.

She had to scrub those thoughts from her brain, because she no longer wanted to feel ashamed for who she was. She had embraced the purple, and the suit gave her a purpose. What strength it would bring to take what they designed her to be and kill them with it. Violet was determined to kill Homelander that day, and let him see his vision for her be burned in front of his eyes. And then, for her and Billy to be safe. For him to finally blend into a sense of normality, if it wasn't selfish to want that. Pushing her hair from her eyes, Violet pictured Billy in her head. Although it had been merely days, it felt the same time since she'd seen him as when he left her. She had to get through to him.

Leaving the room, she inhaled deeply as she took in the faces of her family. Annie had ditched her suit, so had Maeve, and it would be strange to see Violet in hers. Maeve liked it, she smiled at her, though Annie was apprehensive. It was almost too much to see how M.M. would react, she wanted so desperately for his appraisal. They had all the time in the world, yet time had a lovely way and constraining what you want to talk about. If they weren't heading for Billy in the office with Soldier Boy, she would have sat them all down to explain. The suit put her together completely, she could run from what they made her, or she could use it against them.

"I suppose I should go before it gets messy," Lola stood up from the sofa.

Violet hugged her tightly for not the last time, yet it was so solemn. Cushioned down in her stomach was the affirmation that something was going to go wrong. In all their attempts, something had always gone wrong, and even if she felt she had a chance that time around, Violet couldn't shake the feeling. As she hugged her best friend, she thought one last time if they could be something. She pictured how different her life would be if it were with Lola and not Billy. Perhaps she would be happier, perhaps safer. She'd rather sit in minor regret not going to her than the guilt to leave Billy behind.

"I'll find you after," she ran a hand down Lola's hair, just to feel the soft sun against her palm again. Her eyes caught M.M.'s.

As Lola left, all she could describe feeling was something vaguely empty. What M.M. said began to make her question everything. But that only was because she was apart from Billy, once she saw him again the fog will clear. He always made her feel more at ease.

"Miss Violet I love the outfit no?" Frenchie gleamed as he packed the Starlight perfume in his bag. Kimiko nodded in agreement.

"It's meant to appeal to male audiences," she repeated what the marketing boys said to her, and Annie scoffed knowingly.

M.M. slung his bag over his shoulder and stood by the door, "we ready to move?"

✧✧✧

Once they reached the door to the office, Violet frowned remembering the last time she was there. Like that time she struggled to put together what she'd say when the door opens, or if she'd skip talking and just kiss him like she wanted to. The night had hit them and turned the shadows into gaping homes for Violet to cower in. They weren't there with a warm hello, as the rest of the group hid in the shadows. They'd get Billy out the way, she would make sure he understood that Soldier Boy needed to go. And she'd make sure he hadn't taken anymore of Temp V.