early december, 1995
cedric,
i am being taken away.
they saw the scars on my arms, the box of pills behind our album of forgotten love, the empty delusions i live in. they've been hearing the screams followed by every nightmare, they've been watching my every hallucination, every step.
they apologise to me. they apologise for not noticing the circle of depression i've shrouded myself in much sooner. they keep on apologising and i keep begging them to stop because i just can't breathe.
the truth beneath my facade of blank white lies is that i am fucking terrified. every inch of body and soul clung to you and now i'm left behind and god help me if i have any idea how i'm supposed to move on. i can't. everyone tells me i should because you would've wanted me to but i just can't.
i haven't even tried.
i would rather die than see someone else take your place.
̶g̶o̶d ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶s ̶̶i'̶v̶e ̶t̶r̶i̶e̶d.
come back cedric.
don't make me go there.
̶t̶h̶e̶y ̶d̶o̶n'̶t ̶a̶l̶l̶o̶w ̶q̶u̶i̶l̶l̶s ̶a̶n̶d ̶p̶a̶r̶c̶h̶m̶e̶n̶t.
come back and heal all my wounds with a single kiss, hold me in your arms and never let go, piece my broken, fragile body together with your delicate hands and run your fingers through my hair.
give me the air i need to breathe.
set me free.
till next time,
june harwood
♡
