Walsh on a farm

19 Before you Accuse Me

I stare at Will's corpse as it no, she Will is/was a person not just a walker. She was a person with a thoughts now she is dead .
Because of me.
She would be alive if I was faster I didn't even put her walker body down. Uncle Rick did, I failed my friend.

The screaming pulls me back it Beth she is staring at her niece. "NO NO WILL!" She breaks down in tears the rest of the family is crying to. Hershel calls out "YOU MURDERER ! YOU KILLED HER!" Dad snaps screaming back "YOU PUT WALKER IN THE BARN HERSHEL YOU CAUSE ALL OF THIS!"

I pull my knees to my chest trying to keep my breath going. The tears refuse to stop no matter how hard I try. Will is dead I know it is true but I want it to be false so bad. Why can't I just go back be faster I got her killed. If she hadn't come here she would still be alive.

A pair of arms wrap around me " I got you Jacob," it's not Dad it's Andrea she holds me close. Pulling me against her running her fingers though my hair. "Just let it out. It's ok to cry."

Daryl shouts "Dammit Walsh! Stop tweaking out! Can't you see your son needs you?!" Dad shouts something but stops then I hear foot steps. Feeling arms surround me.

I lean against who I know is Dad. He pulls me into his lap and out of Andrea's arms. "Shh champ no more crying now be a man." I can't stop I try to but can't I want to listen he is stroking my back and running his fingers through my hair. Andrea snaps "Shane he just saw his friend die that is traumatic. Let him cry "

Dad arms tighten for a second but then loosen. "Alright.. champ let's get you cleaned up baby." He carries me to the camp ignoring the shouting for him to come back.

Once we enter the tent I have mostly stopped crying tears are barely running down my cheeks. My breath is more under control. Dad wipes my cheeks with a shirt. "Shh baby it's ok. I'm here daddy's here I'm not going anywhere." He pulls me to him I try to stop him saying "I'll get you dirty I'm covered in blood and walker." It doesn't stop Dad "I don't care about that son I care about you. Your my son I love you. You know that ok?"

I nod laying my head against his chest. "But daddy I got Will killed it's my fault. I should of been faster-."
Dad holds me "no it's not your fault at all if you need to blame someone blame Hershel. Hershel was the one keeping the walkers in the barn. We had to fix it or those monsters would have killed us all. It's not your fault at all son." I nod leaning against him but don't feel any better.

We stay like that for a while I'm not sure how long but it could of been a few minutes or an hour. I'm to distracted by my thoughts to tell. Dad pulls me out of his lap and cleans my face off I'm not crying at all anymore though I'm not sure when I stopped. "How about we see if we need to dig ok?" With my nod we head out of the tent.

T-dog Andrea and Jimmy are already started digging when we get there. Dad grabs two shovels on the ground handing one to me. "Hey Andrea, T... how's digging going." Looking up at Dad T-Dog snorts. "Shane I agree with what you did but ..not sure if the Greenns would appreciate you digging the graves." I look away Dad scoffs"they aren't digging and I want to help ya where are all the Greenns?" T-Dog nods "alright don't know where everyone is, most fought for awhile then ran off. Walsh Hershel ain't happy he is pissed at you and - the most." I look at him confused before realizing Hershel must also be mad at me.-

Dad interrupts my thoughts by placing a hand on my head. Ruffling my hair "He got no right to be mad at anyone but himself he certainly doesn't have a right to be pissed at a child." T-Dog sighs "I see what your saying you got to protect your boy. But he blames you let's not get into it it's to fresh." Giving him a nod Dad looks to me "ok let's get to digging ok?"

Dad helps me break the first bit to help me get started. He tries to help me dig the entire hole but I stop him "no this is Will's She was my friend I have to do this for her."  He nods running his fingers though my hair "ok champ. But don't be afraid to ask for help." I nod