What Did You Do, Captain?

Does this really need a part 3?

The captain stood in the airlock again. They knew how this ended, with them right back in that damn cryo tank. They couldn't live without Mark. Not this time.

Captain couldn't hold on and he flew out the window again. The glass had shredded Mark's skin as he screamed until the air could no longer carry his voice. How many of him floated in the universe, failed by the captain?

They pulled the lever, they had been expecting Marks worried face screaming at them, asking them what it would fix. Sometimes they would hold up a thumb, sometimes a middle finger. This time, nothing. They just wanted this all to end, not in death, because death didn't end this. It was insane and Captain didn't want to do any of this anymore. 

They reached over and pulled the lever, holding up their thumb and pinky, shaking it back and forth as thier body was yanked harshly and they spun into space, tears streaming down their face as their mask fogged with the last few warm breaths they had.

***************

Status is Absolutely Catastrophic.....
initiating wakey wakey protocol.

There it went, happening over again. The captain glanced at their hand and watched the blue crystal glow. They hated the damn thing, they wanted to rip it off, throw it out the windows. They wouldn't give up on the ship, their crew, the colonists, or the universe, but they would be lying if they said they hadn't ever wanted to. They had been so downtrodden at this point.

They were ejected from the tank and so was Mark, but this time they were able to run over and grab Mark tightly by the hand. He lived through that and all the other catastrophes they had gone through a million times. It came down to a choice, and The Captain decided not to choose. Everything went quiet. The crew didn't know there was an issue, and the ship was still running like there wasn't a wormhole pulling at it's ass. 

The captain decided to go eat something and sit down to think. This was all too much.

"Captain, let me go with you." Mark said softly, "You shouldn't be alone." 

"Mark." Cici called, her voice thick with annoyance, "Come help me with this!" 

Mark glanced her way then turned to the Captain, regret in his eyes as he smiled in defeat.

"Okay, but don't be too long. Meet me in my office when you are ready to go again." Mark said, "Promise me." He pointed at the Captain, narrowing his eyes.

Sadly, they nodded their head, watching him turn and walk over to Cici. They immediately started to argue like children, making Captain grin.  They reminded Captain of two friends they had a long time ago. They had been twins. Their friend had faked his death, killing them both for revenge, even though the brother had done nothing.

Mark was going through that now, dying even though he had done nothing wrong.

Captain headed to get something to eat, the voices of the crew fading away as they made their way along. They glanced into the mess hall and entered when they realized no one else was in there. They wanted to take their helmet off and just relax fir a moment in peace, but they didn't want anyone to see their face.

In the back corner was a human behind a counter, waiting to serve food from the kitchen behind them. Captain stepped up, waving.

"Hello, Captain. The usual?" The human asked. Captain nodded, "And one of our more private booths?" 

Captain nodded and turned their head when the server gestured to the back corner. The booths had high backs and were round to create near perfect capsules for people to eat in and not be seen or heard from other booths. Captain walked over to the booth and sat down, and the server came with a drink mere moments later.

"Your meal will be out soon." They promised, leaving the Captain on their own. They didn't take their helmet off, instead they popped up the visor and drank. It was a small enough window that they could drop the screen to hide if they need, and they did. 

"Captain." The server said, coming around the corner and placing a plate in front of them. Captain snapped the visor down with a click as soon as they heard the server coming, "I have to raise some concerns."

They frowned at the server and lifted a hand to gesture for them to continue what they were saying.

"You seem to be growing close to Mark, but I have seen some troubling things that may make you want to reconsider that." The server said. He had a kind, pitying smile with soft eyes. 

The Captain was lost in his eyes for a few moments but eventually they gestured for him to continue.

"Have you noticed how close he also is to Cici?" The server asked. Captain shook their head, they hadn't noticed that at all, "They act like they hate one another, and I believe that at one time they did, but something happened. Their attitudes changed." The server's eyes flickered away from the Captain's face and he shifted in his place, "Be careful, Captain. We are all trusting you to get us there safely." 

With that, the server left. What was Captain supposed to do with that? Was it even true? Was it just speculation? 

Captain removed their helmet and started to eat the first hot meal they had for months, their mind's wandering to their time just before boarding The Invincible 2. They trained harder and longer, testing and testing, preparing for this and becoming the best, getting chosen out of many candidates for this new colony and to captain this ship.

They were too deep in their thoughts to realize that someone was approaching until it was too late. Cici marched up to the opening in the booth, Mark sliding into view behind them, breathless and upset.

"Captain, Mark is being an idiot again and, Oh My God! Are you alright?" Cici said in shock. Her eyes flickered all over the Captain's face. Mark's upset had changed to a look of shock, confusion, and almost panic.

"Captain, what happened? Are you hurt?" Mark asked, trying to push a very stable Cici out of the way.

Captain felt tears welling in their eyes as they grabbed their helmet and snapped it back on.

"Oh, that's the scar you told me about?" Mark asked. Captain waved their hand then gestured in a circle.

"What?" Cici asked, looking between Captain and Mark.

"They want you to tell them why we are here." Mark explained. How did he know exactly what they were saying?

"Well, Mark-..." Captain just listened, slightly dissociating from the situation, their mind shutting off as they tried to block out the memories of what happened to their face, and some memories caused by. 

Captain rose and moved past Cici, gently moving them to the side and running into Mark, who gently rested his hands on Captain's shoulders.

"Don't be alone right now, Captain. I can tell something is wrong." Mark whispered. The Captain just walked away, his hands sliding down their arms and off them, making them shiver. Even with the momentary distraction the Captain couldn't stop the onslaught of pain from the memories of their injury, and the look on Mark's face when he saw. 

The accident had been Captain's fault. They hid their scar because of the guilt, not because of the way it looked. They didn't want others to see their shame. They had hurt so many people, and now they were hurting even more.

Captain heard Mark following, since the Captain was heading through the cryo-chambers to get to the warp core, and Mark was probably arguing with Cici over the Cryo. Captain continued past as the two started arguing again, their voices staying behind. The Captain hurried down the corridor, hoping Mark wouldn't notice...

...But he did.

"Captain!" Mark shouted. 

The Captain didn't listen, they opened the door to the warp core and didn't let Mark or The Lady stop them as they jumped into the worm hole again. Mark didn't jump with them this time, so Captain felt they were free to "use" their voice for the first time in their adult life, and they screamed silently into the void.

{{Author note: edited this for continuity}}