What Did You Do, Captain?

Find Comfort

"I have to keep trying." Mark's voice was quiet and distant. He wasn't trying to whisper he was apparently talking to someone close or even to himself. The Captain felt so numb, they needed something to ground them, someone... they wanted to feel his face between their hands and kiss his warm lips.

"Everything you idiots do makes it worse." A female voice answered him. It was Celci again.

Someone was pacing, their footfalls were familiar, but it could be either of them. The Captain had spent so many lives with both of them.

"I'm... struggling... with that." Mark said. The captain walked down the main hall, looking for them.

"Struggling not to be stupid?" Celci chastised.

"No." Mark groaned but then his voice softened with defeat,"No, it's more... I'm struggling with..."

"Spit it out." Celci commanded. There was a creak of furniture, maybe the person pacing had sat down.

"Celci, what if... The Captain is doing this on purpose?" Mark was actually whispering now. It sounded painful to say and he choked up on the words. Then the words came out in a frantic sob,"What if the Captain is doing all of this!?"

"Hey, hey, its..it's... it's ok..." Celci said, her voice softened as well,"Do you... think it was always on purpose?"

"No... but now... I think now they have power they don't want to get rid of."

The Captain tried to creep closer quietly.

"The warp crystal?" She asked.

"Yes. I don't know what to think anymore. There is only one person i trust more than myself, but I'm even starting to doubt myself, so how could they be the exception?" Mark groaned lightly. The Captain finally came to the room they were in.

Through the door, Captain was able to see Mark sitting on the desk again, his shoulders slumped as he looked up to Celci in desperation.

"Celci... I'm scared." Mark whispered so quietly the Captain almost couldn't hear them. He lifted his hands, palms up, and Celci came over to him. She gently stepped into his arms, pulling him to her chest. She pet his hair with one hand and rubbed his back with the other. He loosely wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

"If anyone is going to figure this out, if anyone is going to get us out of this... as much as I hate to admit it... it's going to be you." Celci said softly. Mark hugged her tighter.

"I'm an idiot." His voice was muffled in her jacket.

"Yes... but you are the smartest idiot I've ever met. I'm serious, Mark. You're going to figure this out." Celci said, gripping his hair. Suddenly Mark extended his arms, pushing her back away from him slowly.

"You don't understand. I can't figure it out. I've been trying. You don't know how long I've been trying. It's been, heh, time doesn't work here but the things I've done, all the lives I've lived. I've died of old age multiple times! Celci! I can't figure it out! And if the Captain has turned on us, there is no way I can outsmart them!" His voice was cracking.

"Mark! Mark, please. Calm down! You're getting worked up again and that doesn't help anything." Celci chastised.

"Oh, when I overreact it makes me stupider, right? When I've been stuck In a loop for thousands of years and it makes me a little cranky..." Mark said in a mocking tone. She cut him off.

"Yes, when you get like this, you don't make good choices!"

"What good choices are there!? I've made all the choices! I go, I come back, I go and I always come back! Oh shit!" His eyes went wide as he finally noticed the Captain in the doorway.

They stood and held their hands up defensively then lowered them slightly.

"Captain I..." Mark started. The Captain shook their head, but Mark continued, his voice soft but lips tight as he tried to hold back his emotion,"Wait. This isn't like it was before..."

The Captain nodded and waved a hand. They knew this wasn't to hurt them this time. This wasn't Mark pushing them away. This was genuine. Mark needed comfort, they knew it couldn't be found in them.

They shrugged with a soft smile, gesturing to Celci.

"You aren't upset?" Celci asked quietly. The Captain shook their head no.

"I'm sorry it's like this." Mark managed to mutter, hanging his head. The Captain shook their head again, smiling a little sadly.

"The crystal, Captain." Celci said softly, pointing to the blue glow on their wrist.

"Captain, dont." Mark pleaded,"Captain, please. Please!"

But the Captain couldn't stop it as it sucked them into the vortex once more. 

They made a choice and landed in some house. It was the same one they had been in before when he had woken them up, when they had been living together. That universe was nice but lasted a very short time.

Captain opened the door to Mark sitting on the end of the bed with headphones on. They almost rushed right to him, but realized this was another choice.

They chose, "Awe Mark. It's okay. You can cry." And they hugged him as he sobbed. This was nice.

"I think you needed this as much as I did." Mark whispered. The Captain nodded, they did.