prologue

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March 22, 2018

"I told you I'm working a 24 hour shift that day

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"I told you I'm working a 24 hour shift that day. I'm not going to be able to come." I groan, sticking my hand back into the chip bag in my lap.

"And... I told you about the party months ago, Harry. Ask someone to cover for you." Her infuriating voice rings out through the speaker of my phone. I roll my eyes stuffing a chip in my mouth, chewing as loud as I can just to irritate her.

I knew I shouldn't have answered.

When I don't respond and shove a handful more of chips in my mouth, She huffs, "Where are your manners, that is so obnoxious. I raised you better than that."

"Actually, you didn't raise me at all, Mother." I bite back.

She rarely even spoke to me. If it didn't involve my sisters, she didn't care. I had a very lonely childhood. For a while, I actually believed I was invisible.

"Don't talk to me like that. It's your sister's eleventh birthday. I expect your ass to be there." She says sternly.

"It's hard to get someone to cover my shift. We are short staffed right now." I respond emotionless. Can she give up already?

"That's bullshit, Harry. It was never hard for your father to get someone to cover for him. He rarely missed anything." She always uses him to guilt trip me.

"Well, I'm not Dad!" I raise my voice. Ever since my Dad passed, I have been expected to follow in his footsteps. I've always wanted to be a firefighter. Not because he was, but because I wanted to help people. I want to be my own person, but it's extremely hard when all these expectations are being thrown my direction.

"You haven't been home for months." Yeah, there's a reason for that. "We just miss you. Just please come surprise Cleo." I do miss my sisters more than anything, it's just that house holds too many memories that I don't want to remember.

Every time I shut my eyes at night to find some kind of peace, the peace never comes. Instead, I relive every single thing that happened.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, Honey. I love you." I scoff at her change of tone.

"Yeah, okay." I hang up slamming my phone down on the table in front of me.

My eyes focus of the episode of Friends playing on the T.V. I like this show because it's so unrealistic. They paint life to be all sunshine and giggles, when in reality life fucking sucks. Life does everything it possibly can to tear you down.

Shitty parents and loneliness only made it worse for me.

"H!" Mitch yells from downstairs to get my attention.

"Mitchell!"

"You might want to come look at this." The wavering in his voice tells me somethings up. I jog quickly down the stairs. I usually go down the pole, but I'm in shorts and that would not be the most comfortable situation.

"What's up-" Mitch turns around revealing the baby bundled in his arms.

I sigh. "Another one? That's like the third this month." His face is pale. "What's wrong with you?"

"Um- they left a note." He passes me a tan sticky note.

My heart stops, once I read the words that are scribbled messily.

Harry,
I can't do this. I'm not in the best position to raise her right now.
She's yours, I promise.
Her birthday is March 3.
I'm so sorry

My mouth has gone completely dry, I'm not sure if I'm even still breathing.

"No." I whisper. "There's no way." I state louder.

Mitch purses his lips together, walking closer to me. Pulling the blanket down, so I can see her face. "It's uncanny, H."

He's right. She does look a lot like me. For a baby, she has a head full of brown hair. The unmistakable green eyes. There's no way she isn't mine.

"Fuck." I pace back and forth, my hands pulling at the roots of my hair.

"Do you know who-"

"Obviously, I don't know Mitch." His mouth snaps shut. "The last time I had sex was at a party about a year ago, dude. I couldn't tell you with who, because I was drunk off my ass."

The little two week old starts to stir, whimpering a little before breaking out into cries.

"Can I?" I hold my arms out towards her.

"You don't have to ask, man. She's yours." A small laughs escapes his lips.

When she's transferred into my arms, she relaxes immediately , her cries stopping. This feeling is something I'm not used to. Warmth. Happiness. Love. Something I haven't felt in my 24 years on this earth.

"I don't know how to be a dad." I speak, not being able to take my eyes off her.

"You can always give her up, if this isn't want you want." Mitch suggests.

I shake my head. "I can't do that. I'm all she has. She'll have no one."

I never saw myself as being a dad. Never wanted to really. But now with her in my arms, I know my sole purpose in life is to make sure that she's safe and happy.

I never believed in love at first sight, but in this case it's absolutely true. I've known her for five minutes and she already has a hold on me.

I press a kiss to her forehead, her eyes open to look at me.

"It's just me and you, kid."

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