xoxo || a gossip girl fanfic

one single tear

outfit for playing the piano after eric's: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/662944007664914352/ sitting on the piano bench. sipping wine before playing bohemian rhapsody. my dogs were all lying down on my couch. i had homemade penne alla vodka with garlic bread. then i started playing with tears rolling down my cheeks. nate's point of view: after my day with raina, all i could think about was aspen. weirdly everything i did today was exactly the same thing aspen + i did once. crazy. i guess i have a type. so right when raina left, i took a car to aspen's apartment. i got into the elevator, walked to her door, knowing the door would be open. it was around twelve and i know that aspen likes to go to bed on the earlier side, so i figured she'd be in her bed watching grey's. but when i walked in, the living room light was on. there she was crying playing bohemian rhapsody on the piano. perfect. it was a perfect moment. then i saw the pasta and bread, which completely made the moment ten times better. i knocked on the inside of the door. she didn't hear me. or she acted like she didn't. instead she started singing. loudly. "mamaaa, just killed a man, put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead. mamaaa, life had just begun, but now i've gone and thrown it all away. mama, oooh, didn't mean to make you cry, if I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters." she started singing. i knocked again. again she fully ignored me. "mama, oooh i don't want to die, i sometimes wish I'd never been born at all." she continued. but then she switched songs. it was vienna by billy joel. "slow down you crazy child. you're so ambitious for a juvenile. but then if you're so smart tell me why are you still so afraid? mmmmm" she started. "aspen!" i exclaimed. but she kept playing.  "but you know that when the truth is told that you can get what you want or you can just get old. you're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through, oooh, when will you realize, vienna waits for you?" she sung. "hello?" i asked. it was like i was a ghost, and she was still living, and i was completely invisible. "you got your passion, you got your pride but don't you know that only fools are satisfied? dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true, ooh. when will you realize, vienna waits for you?" she played. "hello?" i asked. "slow down you crazy child. take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while. it's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two , ooh. when will you realize, vienna waits for you?" she ended. i started clapping. but she didn't stop. it was let it be by the beatles. "when I find myself in times of trouble, mother mary comes to me speaking words of wisdom. let it be. and in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me. speaking words of wisdom." i realized her tears got more constant. after that song she started playing yesterday. "yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.. now it looks as though they're here to stay. oh, i believe in yesterday." she started. her tears were even bigger. "why she had to go? i don't know she wouldn't say. i said something wrong, now i long for yesterday." she was completely balling now. i ran over to her and started hugging her. she put her face on my shoulder. "it's falling apart." she said, lightly. "what is? what is it aspen?" i questioned. "everything." she said. "i'm sorry." i said. "about what?" she asked. "about you + me." i stated. "i don't want to talk about that." she stated. "okay, so how did you do on that paper?" i asked. "what?" she asked, lifting her head from my shoulder and looking at me. "the paper. it was really hard." i pointed out. "yeah it was hard." she replied, wiping a tear from her face. "i got a b plus." i stated. "i got an a plus." she replied. "congrats." i said. "what are you doing?" she questioned. "talking about the paper." i replied. "why?" she asked. "because you said you didn't want to talk about us." i pointed out. "there is no us. there's you and then there's me. and i don't want to talk about that." she said. "okay, so i moved on to the paper. sorry did you want to talk about world language?" i pointed out. "you just loved it didn't you?" she asked. "loved what?" i questioned. "seeing me cry." she said, turning her head, so she could wipe her eye. "must have been a great moment." she added. "not really." i said. "please. you loved it. simon cowell even loved it." she replied. "i did not love it." i said. "i really liked you too." she said. "yeah. i really liked you too." i replied. "so where's your boyfriend?" i asked. "she's not my boyfriend anymore." she stated. "why not?" i questioned. "didn't want to be i guess." she stated. "idiot." i said. "so is raina." she stated. "do you think you'll get back together?" i questioned. "he was pretty set in his decision." she made sure of. aspen's pov: "when did it happened?" nate asked. "two weeks ago." i said. "wow." he said. "it was our six month anniversary." i stated. "that sucks." he said. "yeah. it does suck." i repeated. "do you think you guys will be together?" i questioned. "no." he replied fast. "hey, i'm sorry i gave you such a hard time for a while." he added. "oh it's okay." i said. "it is?" he questioned. "well, no. but i think your upset." i replied. "well, yeah, but i am sorry." he pointed out. "i accept your apology." i replied. "oh man. it's a great night, yeah?" he questioned. "yeah. not bad. i got to practice piano." i replied. "you are very odd. you know that?" he asked. "thank you." i replied. "you're welcome." he stated. he leaned in, and kissed me. then yet again we ended up in bed.