xoxo || a gossip girl fanfic

i don't want to be here

outfit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/233835405647375858/                                                                        a few days later was my mom's funeral. everyone was there. name them they were there. i had to make a speech. fighting back tears i said, "my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom i received my name and my life's blood, sage reynolds. my mother never gave me any idea that i couldn't do whatever i wanted to do or be whomever i wanted to be. she filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from jane austen to eudora welty to patti smith. as she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, i don't know if she ever realized that the person i most wanted to be was her. thank you, mom. you are my guidepost for everything. i can't believe you won't be here to see my children walk like we talked about, or plan my wedding. you are now and forever will be my everything. i can not thank you enough for everything you have done for me. you will be missed by so many people everywhere. you made such an impact on everyone who you spoke to. my mother always did good deeds. but the though she did these things she never wanted anyone to know. for example when we were out for her birthday dinner she was a young couple on their anniversary dinner and secretly paid their bill. or when we she saw someone  struggling to pay their dog's medical bill she would pay for the rest of the medicals for that dog's life. thank you mom for being the strongest person i know."