Subdued - A Shiva Pandya Story

In retrospect

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Gaumbi sat next to his little brother who was unconscious in front of him. Gaumbi was shedding tears and was in pain. Dhara tried to comfort him but she herself was inconsolable and to be frank, he just couldn't be asked with Dhara at the moment. He recalls the time when Dhara refused to have kids and how badly she was affected when her health problems kicked in at a later age. He thought of Shiva and the gratitude he always showed his bhabi and wondered, was the sacrifice they made the right choice. If it was and if it was for the betterment of his brothers , than why was he here, at this point where his brother was at his breaking point. He cursed his own selfishness . Why did he never stop Shiva when he put himself at the forefront of hard labour. Why did he subtly take advantage of Shiva , due to his lack of education and his utter devotion of his Gaumbi and Bhabimaa. Why did he never defend him like he said he would have , if Dhara was rude as Raavi was to him. He looked at the mirror and froze. He saw an shadow of his dad. He often saw him in his mind when he needed guidance or share happiness
But for once, his dad shared a frown and shook his head, disappearing into thin air. He would have not been proud today.

Suman was a mother. She knew deep down something did not sit right with Shiva. She understood she should have made more of an effort to resolve her issues with Shiva. Was she not the elder in this relationship. Then why did she demand Shiva obey her like a child crying for chocolates at a store. He obeyed and today she regretted his existence as her son. She never tried with Patrani's husband. Was it because she knew if it came down to it, Dev might not pick her. He already picked his wife once when she was pregnant. She even chased after him and had a paralytic attack. It was Shiva and his wife who helped her. She observed the girl who was in front of her . Raavi was a wreck. She was leaning against the wall, crying her eyes out. Anyone who approached her was pushed away and all she did was cry. She fainted once already during the time they bought Shiva to the hospital up until now . Suman cursed herself. Why didnt she make amends with both of them. She disliked Raavi to the core but she could have faked it for Shiva. Why was her ego bigger than her son.

Dhara recalled how Gaumbi rejected her support today as he observed Shiva, refusing to leave his side. When Dhara mentioned Chiku, he shut her down saying
" shayad tu bhul gayi Dhara lekin Chiku se pehle mere teen bete samaan bhai the. Yaad hai na? Bahot din se main bhul gaya tha lekin ab nahin. Mere bhai ko meri zarurat hai. Tu Chiku ko sambhal. Main aata hoon" Dhara was saddened as she looked over Chiku. Was she that desperate for a baby that she overlooked the contribution of Shiva over the years.That she disregarded him now that Chiku was in the picture.She claimed she raised him. What else did she claim her stake on. Shiva's selflessness, his devotion, his majboori..she staked her claim on them all. She was quietly weeping away when Gaumbi joined her. She now cried with him. They looked at each other and only saw one thing. Their own failure.

Dev was numb. That would be the best word to describe it. Everyone claimed he was the good samaritan but he was just a wolf in sheeps clothing. He was a coward. He was insecure that despite being the most educated, he felt like he was forever chasing Shiva to match his capabilities. The insults he couldnt throw at Shiva were thrown by his wife. It made him feel better. He wished he addressed the matter and worked on it instead trying to be some major entrepreneur with his OWN wifes company. The business wasnt even his.

Krish realised one thing. He never grew up. He never learnt from the Kirti incident and neither from the Shweta situation. Life experiences teaches you to behave more maturely but instead he acted like an utter child towards Shiva. If he cheated on his wife, surely they should have left this between husband and wife. Why did the family do this. Be so damn dramatic. He was a man of this generation. Where did he get this trait from. If anyone knew Shiva , it was him and Dev. They all grew up together. So why did they get it so wrong. He pulled out a cigarette and was about to light it up but he recalled his words to Shiva. He threw it away in disgust. He would finally quit it.

Raavi was a trainwreck. Why did she make a spectacle of him. She was meant to apologise. She was meant to support him . What had changed in their relationship. He didnt change when success hit him and he won the business competition. But money changed her. May be she was her maasi niece after all. She once unknowingly said she earnt more than he could in a month. Who says that if they are not boasting. She placed everyone above him and never did an apology escape her mouth when she flopped . Every time she wanted to, she felt her sorry would be too small. Now he was in hospital and the sin she committed would be left would be the last thing he would remember about her if God took him away. He would be unconscious for at least 48hours they said. Divya and Prakash were speaking back and forth to the doctors. When the family tried to interject, Divya explained it's best she spoke as she was his therapist. Since when did he see a therapist? When did he start getting anxiety attack? The man she loved had so much going on. He was trying to be able and capable enough for her but she couldnt understand. She loved him to the core and she always thought he bounced back so she never grew up in their relationship whereas he was forced to grow up quickly because of her actions. She failed him. She failed in this bond. She thought of her mum and dad. Since her and Shiva became one, the pain of the loss decreased and now she was potentially going to lose him. But before that, she was going to understand him. Before she could take action , Divya spoke

" we had spoken to Shiva before you guys came. He said it was time"
" Time for what" Rishita spoke
" time for you guys to see what Shiva had become" Prakash claimed.