I'm not alone

Chapter Nine

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Chapter Nine

I parked my car in the usual place, I got off the car only when I was sure that I had closed the windows, sealing the beginning of another day, a day that was destined to be the same as the other days I had left in the past, and one like many others that would come...

If someone would would address me with the question: "If you would live this life till infinity, would you be living like you are now?". No, i wouldn't to live another day from this life. I was waiting for the day I would close my eyes forever, to wake up on another place, where this would be nothing but a nightmare.

I was walking lazily towards school when I saw him, leaning for support on his big vehicle, with an attitude o a determined boy, so sure of himself. He was looking at me and with with every step I took his gaze was burning me.

Without knowing what I was doing, I stopped, I turned to face him and I smiled.

The need for something different had triumphed exploding the prison cells of my self-control.

"Wow, was that a smile or was I daydreaming?"- was his immediate reaction.

"No, it was smile."

"Then, I should be careful and not ruin this moment. The queen of ice smiled at me."- I didn't know if I should've been offended or not but I let it pass. Maybe the key of happiness was to stop over-thinking and analyzing everything.

"The queen of ice?"

"Do you feel more like Olaf?"

"Olaf liked hugs,"- I reminded him. We were standing in front of each other talking about cartoons, which we were both too grown up to watch.

"And you don't like them?"

"I don't know"- I accepted... I couldn't remember hugging anyone except of my mom. Only her arms. " I should leave for my lectures."- but suddenly he took a step aside just to be in front of me and block my way.

"I think that you need a good coffee, look at the black circles under your eyes."

"I have to..."- but he interrupted me and continued himself.

"Be rebellious just once. Do something different."- different, I needed something different, without knowing what was coming out of my mouth I whispered a yes.

"I would hug you know but too bad that you don't know if you like hugs or not."- and he smiled. This time not the smile of an arrogant, but a sincere smile, a smile like a child's. A warm smile. Maybe it wasn't a mistake at the end. Maybe I needed just this, to have friends, I needed people who came after, who wanted to know me, I didn't need people who left, people who abandoned me. I was lost enough, sometimes I felt like I had lost even myself. Sometimes I close my eyes and try to imagine a day when I hadn't been like this, so stiff. But I'd lost even the memories of my distant childhood, when I laughed and played like everyone.